Can a relationship survive cheating if I can't get over it. I'm trying. She said it wasn't anything I did, but it's hard not to take it personal when the person you'd die for chooses to have sex with another man.
I had to leave town a lot and she said she was lonely. I was lonely too but didn't run into another woman's arms.
2007-05-22 13:54:19 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If there's no trust then there is no relationship. You might be able to forgive eventually but you will never be able to forget. If you really love her as much as you say then it's worth trying to make it work out, but it's going to take some time.
2007-05-22 14:08:09 · answer #1 · answered by Stacey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, if my mate cheated on me, especially if it was previously established that my mate was my exclusive and vice versa, I would also have a very hard time excepting the excuse "I was lonely." Try not to think of it as your fault. I wouldn't think it was my fault. It was their fault. They broke the agreement. I agree with you, as in you taking it personally. I would take it personally. It would be my decision. There was a bond of trust that was broken. They couldn't keep themselves busy? Use a wonder-wand? Watch movies? Talk to you over the phone? Write you hot letters? Its a hard chunk to chew. Sorry if I'm not much help, if you are looking for confirmation in staying together. If your married, you could seek a counselor to help you come to your decision. I have read that the way couples get THROUGH infidelity is by talking about the situation...in excruciating detail. You don't forget. You can forgive, but it takes time and dedication. It honestly depends on how long your relationship has already existed--the more the more successful...but not a guarrantee. If I wasn't married, I would move on.
2007-05-22 21:09:04 · answer #2 · answered by What, what, what?? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, with something like that it would be very hard. But do you still love her? Do you really want to work it out? If so then you have to work thru it. Her saying its nothing you done is probably not exactly true. Look going past the part that its NOT RIGHT to cheat.. but why do people do it. Why did she do it?? Not a good enough reason. Did she ever tell you she was lonely? This is very important.. if she did not tell you how she felt.. then I think you can forgive but would be very hard, because she didnt even try to tell you.
This sounds like broken down communication. And I know its hard being lonely, but not a excuse. She really has to prove herself to you... really depends on how she is acting now. etc best of luck.. noone deserves to be hurt and everyone deserves a 2nd chance but this is breaking some vows etc.. try to work thru it.. see how you go..
2007-05-22 21:13:24 · answer #3 · answered by RAIN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear you are feeling so sad. It is very tough to have your spouse cheat on you....Some people have a more forgiving nature than others.
We all do things for a reason. Sometimes we are conscious of it; sometimes we are not. I don't think her excuse is good enough. When you love someone and you are married to them, you respect them and you treat them like you want them to treat you.
Sounds to me like you wish you felt differently....a part of you still loves her, but the hurt of her betrayal is too great for you to handle. Normally, I'd say go to therapy or counseling; but from what you wrote I get the feeling it's over. Sorry....
Try not to be bitter and remember you did nothing wrong...she made a wrong decision and now has to pay the price: losing you. Good luck....You will survive this, honey. Focus on being a good man and don't let anger and dark feelings change your heart.
2007-05-22 21:14:25 · answer #4 · answered by Nena S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might be able to forgive but you'll never forget ..and when she is taking longer going someone then it should take, you'll always think of where she actually is and what she's actually doing. The trust in this relationship has been destroyed. You need to get out cause you can never trust her again. It will hurt you worse to keep going through this...if she really loved you she wouldn't have cheated man.
2007-05-22 21:02:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you agreed to stay in this relationship, then you getting over her cheating is a must. It does not mean you have to forget, but you must have forgiven her. If you just stayed in the relationship thinking that it would just go away, then you have obviously not been cheated on before. It hurts, and some people never get over it. If you want to stay in this relationship and make it work, then you are gonna have to let the situation go. If not you two will never move forward.
2007-05-22 21:00:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No there is no hope to save this relationship. Don't listen to the fools to say to talk about it (you have already done that), or to seek counseling (never works). She cheated on you, blamed you, now expects you to forgive her. Once a cheater always a cheater, she will cheat on you again. Wait lets point this one out again: she blamed you for her cheating. Wow if that doesn't take the cake.
Sorry to say but she is a tramp, pick a better person next time. Keep in mind where her lips were when you even think of kissing her (and I do mean a somewhere south of the border).
2007-05-22 21:00:42 · answer #7 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You're not alone my friend. There's a lot of people who have the same experience with yours. Don't let it bothers you. Remember there are lots of fish in the vast ocean. If you're not married with her, don't focus your mind on it, it will drive you crazy. I salute you my friend for being faithful, only few people who has that kind of attitude, and you are one of them. As early as this, you must be thankful for knowing her, rather than discovering it later. I don't advice you to hate her, but if you can forgive her the better, if you really loved her, give her another chance, you will forget her experience once you start forgiving her.
2007-05-22 21:05:42 · answer #8 · answered by Vher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It wasn't anything you did and it wasn't anything you didn't do either...
It was her and her decision to act upon a urge and it was a bad decision....
Now you have to decide if you can get past it, some can't and that's understandable and it's alright if you can't...
But if you can find your way to move past it, you can only do it by really talking to her and getting everything off your chest..
And let her know it's going to take time to not only forgive her but trust her again...
If she truly loves you, she'll not only apologize but accept your conditions and do everything she can to prove she is sorry..Remember why you fell in love with her, and work from there, again...People make mistakes...I really hope it works out for you
2007-05-22 21:06:18 · answer #9 · answered by Innisfil g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thanks for being a good man, maybe she was a little lonely, buy her a dildo, if you can't get over it, that's okay too, because trust is earned, especially the second time around. When you go out of town to make a LIVING, you should not have to worry if my chic is laying up with the butt naked man. There's so many pretty sexxy women, also smart who would love to have a man that is good to them, there's a man shortage, go find one of them.
2007-05-22 21:01:17 · answer #10 · answered by sodgirl6763 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋