trust issues?

Question

Is he being too harsh. I have a boyfriend who is recently going through a divorce, his ex knows my ex and on a phone conversation she was putting me down, I casually asked why he did not defend me in his conversation as I was standing right there and he got very emontional and angry and told me that i do not trust him at all and now he is pulling away from our relationship. He told me he defended me but i did not hear it.

how should i go about this? we get along great and love each other very much, I am confused though he said love comes first then trust, I tried to explain that I do trust him If i didnt I would have not got together with him, I beleive in any relationship love and trust go hand in hand I have appologized.
His ex feels I broke them up which I didn't and at times I hate that people think that of me.

Answer 1

no, No NO!!! You people really let hallmark define your lives to much.... ether way, love doesn't necassary mean trust.... realize love is a word man came up with to sum up the phonomana that is caused by the increased association of feelings.... in other words love is a word for the sum of all feelings you feel for a person or entity. Which means the lack of trust, or the feeling of not trusting someone is part of loving them. It doesn't necassary go hand to hand that if you love someone that you trust them. Look at all the abusive relationships out there! Ether way, by assuming that trust is as important as love you guys are putting a wedge into the relationships. Trust issues most be addressed and they definitly most be accepted. Tell him the issue isn't trust its love, the fact is if you guys felt enough of each other to TRUELY understand each other trust would never be an issue. But the fact is it takes a long, long time (unless of course you get that one-in-a-million chance of finding a person that clicks with you to the core) for two people to get comfrontable not just with their partner but with themselves to truly know an individual enough to not distrust them. Its a process of love, its a maturing of love, and if you guys don't accept that its a step process your going to tear this relationship apart. No one starts relationships perfect, you work hard for it, now tell his dumb self that you guys have the love, now you need to apply it, you need to talk about it, and the most important thing of all, keep trying to make it better! But don't assume just because you love someone that trust is there, that compassion is there, that passion is in you, its a process, we most learn to be great lovers, were not born that way......