Whenever it comes up in conversation that I've no interest in having children I keep getting people saying "You say that now but you will one day". I'm 27, it's not like I'm a teenager and I still get patronised with that malarkey. What's it all about? Is it really so freaky for a heterosexual woman to not want kids?
2007-05-22 12:07:45 · 34 answers · asked by Princess Paradox 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
What's the deal with people thinking it's about 'settling down' or 'meeting the right guy', have they no idea just how patronising that sounds?
2007-05-22 12:18:39 · update #1
Oh God hun, I know how you feel. And YES it is patronising when people on here say "you'll find the right man someday"!!
Live your own life and don't worry about other people. My God, you'll be the one happy with loads of free time in 10 years, whilst the people questioning you will be the ones up to their eyeballs in laundy, dishes and misbehaving kids.
I'm only 22 but at this moment in time I feel that I never want kids. My boyfriend is 35 and he definitely does not want them either. I think it's just something you know.
I'll get loads of thumbs down for this, but I don't want kids because I want to be able to focus all my attention on my life and my partner's life and just the mere thought of kiddie stuff bores and nauseates me!! I just find it all so dull and traditional.
Incidentally, traditional church weddings also bore and nauseate me, and neither myself or my boyfriend see marriage as a priority (and we've been together for 3 years!)
Don't listen to anybody else - do what you want to do and what feels right at the time. Single, attached, married, swinging, whatever you like! ;-)
xx Emmie
2007-05-22 16:56:42 · answer #1 · answered by Sparklepop 6 · 4⤊ 2⤋
At 27 I didn't even think about having a child, it is common for working woman. But later on in life, you might want to have a child. Now days a lot of woman having a child in their late 30s. It is not ideal but possible.
2007-05-22 22:27:59 · answer #2 · answered by Lilu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's weird at all. I have 5 friends. I am the only one with children. They are not all that interested in having children, and I can't say that I blame them. If you don't want children and you chose not to have them, that is awesome. If you don't want children and you just have one to shut people up then that is nuts. It's already too many children in the world with mothers that don't reall want them. So, tell people to get them some business and they can have all the kids THEY want.
2007-05-22 12:19:45 · answer #3 · answered by Netbee01 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the expectation is that you come to this world and if there's one thing you "should" do is "have a kid".
When people you speak with say..."buy you will one day".. that "day" is probably when you're very old.
Don't worry about what other people think. Do what's best for you. These days, it's tough making it on your own, yet alone with a kid in tow...so take care of yourself first and everything else will fall in place.
Just so you know..every person that I've known that says they don't want kids...yeah..they're the first to have them. So get ready.
If you wanted kids..you probably couldn't. That's how life is.
2007-05-22 12:15:56 · answer #4 · answered by RUNINTLKT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think its wrong not wanting children... Growing up I never wanted them... I would love to have children now (almost 21 years old) I can not wait for that day to come.... Now I have a friend that never wanted them.... Ha he's got 2 now and he's a single father. So yeah it depends.... He loves his children and wouldnt give them up and said if the right person come around and loved his kids for who they are he might even have more..!! Meanless to say he's a wonderful Father.... I think he does an awesome job... Plus works 2 jobs... Very dedicated father.
2007-05-22 12:29:34 · answer #5 · answered by Sheri 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is totally your choice. There is so much pressure on women that life is about having a kid to fulfil a womans role in life. Especially for those that can't concieve and are paynig for IVF.
If you do not want to, then don't. You are still young enough to change your mind. I had my first at 26, yet my friends of same age left it later.
You are your own person so it makes no difference to your true friends or family what you choose to do in life.
2007-05-22 12:17:13 · answer #6 · answered by Ylang-Ylang 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is perfectly reasonable for you to not want children, it's just that the majority of us feel differently, and maybe find it unusual is all. A word of warning though. I;ve heard of loads of people who are now far too old to have children say that they really regret not having them. I'm not saying you would or should feel this way. I have every respect for you going with your feelings on the matter. Just saying that every few years just re-examine your thoughts on the matter.
2007-05-22 12:23:00 · answer #7 · answered by Dimples 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont listen to thm,i never wanted kids either and then all of a suddn at about 23 i got very broody,im 34 know and have 3 gorgeous kids,each to there own and if its not your thing dont let any 1 pressure you into thinking you have to get pregnant,live your life the way you want to,and i hope you have a long happy fulfiled life!
2007-05-22 13:11:21 · answer #8 · answered by lees 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its not weird at all. In fact, I think its very responsible of you. There are too many people out there having kids that really should not and the innocent children suffer because of it. If you don't want kids, that's your decision and your business. I think you are a very caring and responsible person to admit that.
2007-05-22 12:15:47 · answer #9 · answered by kim_faut 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
no its not so strange.everyone should not have kids thats a fact,it seems like some people think they should so they can trap a man or live off welfare,food stamps or social security benefits.and then a lot of these kids wind up in foster care or dead because they were not really wanted.it is a shame.good luck to you.
2007-05-22 12:18:48 · answer #10 · answered by dixie58 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋