When I want something so bad and my husband says no, I usually do it anyways. Like, I want another baby and I saw this really cute cradle. He said not to buy it but I did anyways and then snuck it in to the house. Another time, I really wanted a pet and he was so against it but I got one anyways and snuck it into the house.
I really want a swimming pool. I got this great deal on one but he says no because it will kill the grass and all this "nonsence".
I can get it and have it set up while he is at work but he's been really tolerant so far of my defiant ways.
Husbands, how much would you take if your wife kept doing things against your wishes?
How can I change his mind about getting a pool? I'd use it all the time!
2007-05-22 11:11:34 · 15 answers · asked by Jennifer S 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He doesn't say no to me all the time. We have discussions about things to get and we do decide on a lot of things, but, sometimes, he doesn't agree on the same things I want and I just go and get them anyways
2007-05-22 11:19:54 · update #1
I love my husband very much. He is very respectful and tolerant of me when I go against is wishes. I just want to know how much I can get away with
2007-05-22 11:23:16 · update #2
Get whatever you want. He will accept it.
I live in a difference house in a different city in a different state then I want because I didnt say no and stick to my guns.
I have a dog and a cat that I didnt want because I didnt stick to NO.
I have a brother in law that is a slob that lives in my garage because I didnt stick to the NO I told her.
You get the point. I am still here. I still say NO. She still does it anyway.
Get a nice bathing suit to lay out in next to the pool.
2007-05-22 12:07:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Coming from a woman's perspective, you need to stop. It sounds like he has good reasons. I agree that he isn't your father and you say he does say yes sometimes but maybe you need to respect his reasoning. A pool will damage the grass and that's something you have to pay for down the road if you move and it's very expensive to repair the lawn the size of a pool. A pet? Well here's my situation. We have a dog and I really want a second one but my husband says no. There is no way that I would go behind his back and get one simply because I respect his wishes. If you keep it up your relationship will go down hill fast. Come to an agreement of how much you can spend on whatever and put it in the family budget. Make sure you guys agree on an amount for him too. That way if you save up for a couple months if what you want goes over he really can't say anything. But as for the pool that's something I wouldn't have done. Join a gym if you want to swim that bad.
2007-05-22 12:00:32 · answer #2 · answered by fourzenuff 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As others have pointed out, this does not seem like a healthy situation. Marriage is about teamwork and although sometimes you will disagree with each other, that doesn't mean you should continue to do things outside of his wishes.
For him it would be the same thing in reverse too, with the possible exception of the fact that many will tell you that somone in the relationship has the final say. Many would feel that the man should be the "head of the home" and should have that position, others would scream even to hear that. I believe though someone must be in charge you can not have two leaders on a team.
Maybe you and your husband want to have a wife led relationship. Google or yahoo this term, there is a lot of information out there on female led relationships, and in general this a growing thing. My wife and I have one of these, I get a say in everything but she is the final decision maker as well as the leader in our home. It works great, but its something that we had to agree on.
2007-05-22 12:23:32 · answer #3 · answered by Rob 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow. If you did all the things you said you have done? I'd divorce you and then get the pool for myself.
Now, to take your side, if he isn't giving you what you want and just denying you these things just because he's a jerk, then you should leave him and get the things you want on your own. Why be in a marriage only to be told no all the time? It's supposed to be a partnership.
Bottom line: I think this relationship is doomed.
2007-05-22 11:16:30 · answer #4 · answered by contrafilms 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
As a couple you should decide things as a couple. He doesn't have the right to just tell you "no", but you shouldn't go behind his back and do it either.
Talk to him. Weight the options. Find out why he is against it.
It's all about loving and respecting eachother. I would not act like your husband, but I wouldn't tolerate that from my wife either.
2007-05-22 11:16:17 · answer #5 · answered by trovanhawk 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does your husband say yes to anything? Doesn't sound like much of a team to me. Sounds like he has zero respect for your opinion, nor do you for his. I would suggest counseling, because there's a lot more buried beneath the surface in this marriage.
2007-05-22 11:16:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
damn you snuck in the cradle and the pet what the hell why not sneak in the pool too. dont stop now. i love defiant women lolz...you are a go getter...
2007-05-22 12:02:26 · answer #7 · answered by phantomq8 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Me, you can buy things according to a budget. If you work, your leeway is wider. If you don't work, you have to stick to a smaller budget.
I'd cut you off from credit cards and bank checks so you have no authorization to spend. Then I return everything you buy.
2007-05-22 11:20:30 · answer #8 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Promise him you will go skinnydipping with him.....thats how my wife convinced me..........but atfter the pool was set up she wouldnot...so the pool came down..
2007-05-22 11:19:58 · answer #9 · answered by billgreenthumb69 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The least of your concerns is getting him to change his mind and you know it lol.
2007-05-22 11:17:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋