I'm not ready to get married yet. Even though I already have two kids by him. (twin girls) and I'm pregnant again with triplets. I still don't want to get married. I just don't want that kind of committment. He's the perfect man and everything and a great father. I'm just not ready. What do I do?
2007-05-22 09:59:43 · 13 answers · asked by babyjay_babyjae 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Baby Names
If you are not ready to get married then don't do it. Marriage is a huge step and it should not be taken lightly... even if you do have kids together. You need to let him know how you feel about marriage and why you don't want that committment right now and if he really loves you then he should be able to understand where you are coming from. Is a license really going to change the way you feel about each other? It's just a piece of paper..... all that matters is what you feel in your heart.
2007-05-22 10:38:46 · answer #1 · answered by dj 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell him your not ready but at the same time if you have five kids with this man then you're body language is telling him you are. You need to sit down with him and talk with him tell him your reasons for not wanting to get married. In a way you have made a committment especially if you are having his children. If you have twin girls already with him and are still with him after the nine months of pregnancy, plus the number of years your twin's are then again you've made a committment not only as a mohter to the girls but to him as well.
2007-05-22 17:05:17 · answer #2 · answered by halfpint8585 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, you shouldn't get married if you aren't ready too but why are you having so many kids with a man you don't want that kind of committment with. Kids are that kind of committment. I would suggest you stop reproducing with this perfect man/great father until you are ready for that kind of a committment.
2007-05-22 17:30:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I Think he has the right idea. If you can't commit to getting married, yet you want to keep having his babies, whats to say that one day you decide that you don't want to be with him any more? you could just up and leave, taking all your kids with you. he would never get anything from it. I see where he is coming from. You should sit down and really think about this before you make any rash decisions. what are the reasons you don't want to get married besides the commitment?
What you need to do is sit down with him and tell him everything on why you don't want to get married. If he understands why you don't want to get married, he might be more receptive in waiting til you are ready.
I hope this helps, and gratz on the new additions
2007-05-22 17:17:59 · answer #4 · answered by Genny 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What? you can have 5 kids with him but not marry him?? your already committed all being married is you all showing on paper how much you mean to each other and that you want to be considered a family.
2007-05-22 18:50:14 · answer #5 · answered by corrick_1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you having kids with a man you don't want to marry. That makes no sense. Eventually he may tire of your game and give up and go. Go take a walk and think about the reasons you don't want to marry either him or anyone and you will have your answers.
2007-05-22 17:04:45 · answer #6 · answered by kny390 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't marry him if you don't want to.
but what do you mean you're "not ready?" five kids sounds like ready to me. having children is a committment greater than marriage. you can always divorce the man, but you can't divorce the kids.
2007-05-22 17:25:14 · answer #7 · answered by another_answer_girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marry him anyway, for the sake of the kids. If you're not ready now, what would it take to get you ready, for crying out loud? I mean, you've already said HE'S THE PERFECT MAN. Are you looking for something other than perfection?
Marry him. Tell him "yes" tonight.
2007-05-22 17:06:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'd get some counseling if I were you.
Try to put yourself in your kids' shoes. This is hard on them also.
Keep in mind that the opportunity may pass, and the tables could be turned a few years from now. Would you want to be in the situation where he has moved on, but you could have created a lasting relationship?
Get some counseling to try to prepare yourself for full-time commitment. It's scary, but you can do it.
2007-05-22 17:07:02 · answer #9 · answered by nora22000 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ya well you just have to think about wats best for you and if u think ur not ready to get married yet then if he proposes let him and except it if u want and you can plan a wedding date for farther in the future a couple years or so away!
2007-05-22 17:40:10 · answer #10 · answered by Meagan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋