When I was in middle school there were girls that were so mean to me. This one girl hated me for no reason at all and did terrible things. I never did anything about it and I am not in middle school anymore or even around her. But it just hurts so bad I am very insecure and think there is something wrong with me. I want to get over this and move on and not let it bother me anymore. I am afraid to open up to people because I think they are just going to make fun of me like how so many people already have. Is there something wrong with me? Any advice?
2007-05-22 09:25:41 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
.....No, there's not a thing wrong with you. But you've got to walk away from the experiences and your feelings about them.
I've had some pretty bad things happen to me. Had a brother gunned down in Miami. Had a business associate steal $15,000 and skip the country. Two divorces. Over 30 friends killed in Viet Nam. Was hit by 3 hurricanes in a 14-month span.
For sure, these things really bothered me for a while. But If I had let them continue to bother me, I'd be totally miserable and screwed up right now. So you're right to want a solution.
Here's what I do - very similar to forgiveness...
- Decide I don't want keep carrying the baggage anymore
- Say to myself, "Yes, bad things happen. And this happened to me. This wasn't the first time and it won't be the last."
- Make it commitment to just let it go...decide I won't care about it anymore. Let the past stay in the past. I may not be able to forget, but I don't have to care, I don't have to think about it anymore.
- When thoughts of the incident come into my mind, I refocus on the present...what I'm doing now to achieve my goals and be happy. I don't dwell on this past thing even for 3 seconds. I refuse to relive these experiences ever again.
I know you can do it, too. Good luck!
2007-05-22 09:29:55 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is anything wrong with you. You had been bullyed by these mean girls, and it sounds like you have trust issues because of you are scared to open up and let people get to know you. You could see a counsellor so you can vent all of those feelings and heal so you can move forward. I know what it is like to be bullyed i to went through this at school to, so i understand what you must be feeling. Kids at school can be so hurtful and say nasty things.I hope everything works out for you, You have the power to heal your life!
2007-05-22 16:38:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope there is nothing wrong with you, many people have these feelings, you need to find a close confidant and actually have a real conversation. also if you feel your self esteem has taken a hit by this you need to start affirming yourself. remember that there is only one you and commit to being the best you that you can possibly be. If you truly believe this nobodies negative statements about you in the past present or future should be able to have such a dramatic effect on you.
Good luck.
2007-05-22 16:36:44 · answer #3 · answered by Terrence W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well.. from what you've said so far.. there is nothing wrong with you.. but don't worry.. when you have your doctorate, look fabulous and are married to the man of your dreams at your 10 year reunion and she's got 12 kids, weighs 250 lbs and is miserable see if she doesn't change her tune..
you have the rest of your life to be happy.. don't let the past drag you down. Aim high and don't let anything or anyone get in your way.
2007-05-22 16:33:37 · answer #4 · answered by pip 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off when a person puts down another person it is because they have low self esteem and they try to make themselves feel better by putting down others! You shouldn't even give this person a 2nd thought and realize you are a better person and will end up being more respected by the people who like you for who you are and not by how you can make yourself look better at the expense of others!
2007-05-22 16:35:54 · answer #5 · answered by mrjamfy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i read this from someone else's answer so i will post it here.
as you get older, people become more self absorbed, so they feel less of a need to bring down others.
just know that the worst is over, there is nothing wrong with you, and try to be easy on yourself.
at the moment you feel the insecurity rising up in you, just stop, breath, look around and realise that you can change that voice inside your head. - its ok, no one is out to get you.
really.
2007-05-22 16:33:38 · answer #6 · answered by Shake-Zula 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋