My other half of 7yrs started up some site and in his profile he put that he was single. I brought it to his attention and he said "it must have been an accident". Several wks later I check out his site and again it said "single". So I said sweetie do you know that your site says single? He acted surprise and said what is the big deal. I argued with him to change it and finally he did. He changes it to commited status and just the other day I checked out his site and again "SINGLE"! In all the years we have been together he has never done something so stupid like this and we also have NEVER split up! He sometimes makes cute comments to other women nothing too forward yet he still does it. \I feel completely disrespected by him and that he has no respect for our relationship. I don't feel that he's cheating on me.However what would stop him if he met the right girl looking fo a single man? I can't let him think it's ok & not talking to him isn't going to do anything either.What do I do?
2007-05-22 09:13:25 · 18 answers · asked by zphytri 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's plain to see that the potentialof "Cheating" is right around the corner.
He isn't respecting you or the relationship.
So, I suppose it's up to you to sit back and wait for a girl online to grab his interest and dump you for her, or at least try her out!
He knows it's a BIG DEAL and he knows exactly what he's doing and WHY he has SINGLE on the sight.
Be prepared for an ending to the relationship, or to be cheated on.
Either make big moves to make it all STOP, or be ready to move on.
2007-05-22 09:21:43 · answer #1 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he hasn't married you yet, then he is kinda single, right?? I understand you are in a committed relationship, but apparently he isn't!
I think putting him through the "test" is a great idea! See where he goes with it!
However, just the fact that he is disrespecting your feelings should be a huge red flag for you!!! When you confronted him about this he said "what's the big deal?" Well, obviously it is some kind of a big deal to him if he repeatedly makes himself single!!!!
It seems to me that he is taking you for granted. Maybe it is time for a wake up call! You say you have NEVER split up? Well, maybe it is time you give him a dose of reality!!! He wants to be "single" - make him single for real!!! Good luck!!
2007-05-22 16:32:19 · answer #2 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not married to this man, he's single; whether you guys are in a committed relationship or not. The question then becomes: why have you allowed a man to stay with you for 7 years, without the benefit of marriage? And what do you mean when you write: "if he met the right girl..."? Aren't you the right girl?
If this man is your husband, he definitely needs to stop the behavior and you need to tell him just that.
2007-05-22 16:28:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's being dishonest about his marital status and looking for something fresh. What should you do? Might depend on how "out" of the relationship he already is. He might be straying through being lonely or just bored. I don't think us guys are "programmed" to handle loneliness very well. I'd suggest couples therapy - not for a confrontational thing, but to work out how to get along better and develop healthy new interests so he doesn't want to stray so badly. You may need to change too.
Ultimately, it's up to him to decide whether he wants out. Up to you too whether you're willing to tolerate this behaviour. Sounds like you're not.
2007-05-22 16:26:38 · answer #4 · answered by Ian S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jeez...
This is a hard one. You should sit down and ask him if he wants to be single or something. Maybe he just likes dating on the internet. Don't really know. He knows he isn't single. You can't worry about a man wanting another woman. Dead end.... If a man or woman wants someone else it will happen. You need to find out how committed your guy really is.
2007-05-22 16:24:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Initiate a conversation about your relationship. Ask him why he feels "single". Maybe you will get him to open up and admit that he doesn't feel that this relationship is going anywhere, or that he is not quite ready to be "committed", or that he's dissatisfied with some aspect of the relationship. If "talking it over" doesn't work, eventually you will have to decide if you want to be with the guy who perceives himself as "single" and doesn't see a problem with it.
2007-05-22 16:22:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a conversation with him. Ask him why he wants other people to believe he's single. I'm sure he'll lie to you, but maybe you'll embarrass him some. Does he take off his wedding ring when he leaves the door? Does he put "single" on work applications? When you're out together, does he introduce you as his wife, or just by name?
One of the responsibilities of marriage is to portray oneself as married to the rest of the world.
2007-05-22 16:22:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not married and therefore you are both single. After 7 years you either accept each other completely or move on. This also goes for you.
2007-05-22 16:22:35 · answer #8 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously wishes that he were single. That is a sign honey, especially if he changed it back. I wouldn't say he's out there cheating but he is diffenitely looking. You have already addressed this with him so it is up to you on what to do next.
2007-05-22 16:22:55 · answer #9 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have good reason to be suspicious. This behavior is obviously intentional and not healthy for a marriage. I suggest you install a keystroke recorder program on your computer to see who he's communicating with online and what he's saying.
Don't assume he's not cheating on you. Based on what you're describing, his behavior would lead me to believe that's entirely possible.
2007-05-22 16:26:25 · answer #10 · answered by cyclingnut86 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋