I broke up with my longterm 5 year girflriend last November, then she shocked me by telling me she was engaged to someone else 2 months later. I begged her to stop the wedding, tried everything for one month, but still she got married in February. Originally, I think I was really bad, but think I had some hope that maybe she would realize she married on a rebound and would get divorced...she is married now 3 months and it seems like EACH DAY I GET WORSE. I am in a massive depression ( i see a counselor, but it doesnt help much). I obsess about her each day, I am so sad, barely sleep at night, and my hair is falling out. I am losing weight as well, my self esteem is about 0 right now. It kills me, we spoke each day/called each other for 5 straight years, now nothing and I miss her too much. I fantasy about her each night and I am scared that I wont be able to ever recover from this....I LOVE her so much, it is sick how much...Advice?
2007-05-22 09:01:21 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She's gone. Face it. BE A MAN! Work out everyday-HARD! Concentrate on your job. Focus on that. Time will take care of it. Just know that most people go through something like this at one time or another in their lives. You're not alone. You'll get through it. Be tough!
2007-05-22 09:07:33 · answer #1 · answered by Ronin 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
What you are experiencing is natural after such a long time together you give all your love to one person and when they re gone you feel like their is a link missing all I can say is time heals all pain but it is not easy , you should try and go out with some friends as hard as that might be but being around people and occupying yourself so you don't think too much and hopefully someday you will realize you don't feel as bad as the day before or you will meet someone new
2007-05-22 16:12:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same situation as you. I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years two weeks ago. It's hard to do but sometimes it's for the best reasons. It sounds to me like she might have been seeing the person that she married while in the relationship with you. It is very unusual for someone to get marry w/in 2 month period. Whatever the case might be you just need to move on with your life. She is a married woman now and out of your reach. I was able to survive a 9 yr relationship breakup so I think you shall be able to make it too. Unfortunately everybody reacts different to situations. My recommendations to you would be the following: Pray for healing. No contact whatsoever. Continue counseling. You might need to accept the fact that you are just obsessed with her and hurting of the hope and dreams that will not be realized. Read the book "It's called a breakup because it's broken" and read articles regarding breaking up. Listen to a lot of talk shows (in order to keep your mind away from your ex). Go out and socialize (even when you don't feel like it). Rent movies. Play games. Do things you need to take care of. Take care of yourself...pamper yourself. Go to the gym. Talk about it with a good friend or family members. Keep a daily journal. And the most important of all is "KEEP YOUR SELF CONTROL". Best of luck to you, you can do it. I been there and I'm in the same situation now. Remember once you accomplish this you shall be able to deal with loss much easier in the future. After all, nothing lasts forever. We are humans and we change our minds or die. The good thing to remember is that as human beings we are capable of adapting to our new enviornments within an adequate time frame.
2007-05-22 16:28:03 · answer #3 · answered by Princesa 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know the feeling, I dated a man for 5 months. Then we broke up because neither of us were over our previous relationships and were not handling getting rid of the baggage well. Needless to say we both ended up back with our exes and I even married mine. He is now married to someone else and I am in the process of a divorce. We never really spoke until recently only to find that we had both been missing each other terribly after we split. The crazy thing is we both are heartbroken but we have to keep moving forward with our lives separately. It sucks but sometimes it happens this way.
2007-05-22 16:14:23 · answer #4 · answered by jlaurentaylor2 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It must be awful to feel so much pain over someone that you love. But before your gf existed, you did have a life. Therefore, it is time that you begin your life over and stop obsessing over your ex and would could've been between the two of you.
If the two of you just broke up in November and she married someone else 2 months later, she may have cheated on you.
A counselor at this point is no help for you unless you are willing to let go of the pain that you have deep inside for this woman.
to be honest, it's time to let it go...
2007-05-22 16:15:02 · answer #5 · answered by lwheavenlyangel 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You made the biggest mistake that happens frequently in long-term relationships--you made your significant other your sole source of happiness. Now that she is gone, you feel as though you have nothing. You need to get back to doing things for you! Obviously, you had more invested in this relationship because she got married very shortly after your break-up. Your pleading and begging had absolutely no bearing on her decision to move on and get married. "If you love someone you should let them go--and if they never come back, then they never were yours." You should repeat that to yourself over and over again. And remember that things happen for a reason. This pain too shall pass. In the mean time you have to get back to doing things for yourself and focusing on how you can improve things in your own life. If by chance, the future leads you two to cross paths again, then you will be in a better position to make that decision with your eyes open--not blinded by love or infactuation.
2007-05-22 16:15:27 · answer #6 · answered by Lala 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your love for her has turned into a dangerous obsession and theres nothing you can do now to get her back. Its way too late to even think about that now so the time has come to deal with your feelings and move on. It may be exactly this way of overbearing love that destroyed you two in the first place. Your love for her blinded you to what you were actually doing. You smothered her. You desperately need to move on past this and quickly.
2007-05-22 16:14:42 · answer #7 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i was the same way. it will get better. He was worse, he tried to kill himself. I think you just have to try to make new friends. I wouldn't suggest dating for now. Try to do things to occupy your time. talk to people, call your friends, help out at a community center, try things that won't transmit a lot of stress for now. maybe talk to your doctor about sleeping pills, for all you know it could be about stress.
my ex broke up with me while i was in another country. Then later i found out he cheated. It was hard and i felt like crying all the time. it hurt to see his picture or anything that reminded me of him.. I threw away anything that he gave me. I forgot about the times we spent together. I eventually didn't think about him as much then day by day i thought about him a little less. And then one day i didn't think about him at all. hope i helped.
~Steph~
2007-05-22 16:10:52 · answer #8 · answered by steph 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hunnie there is nothing you can really do. You have to get over her. People date to expierience. She might get divorced yes, because she had known this guy only two months. But you have to learn from your mistakes.
2007-05-22 16:07:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Quit being so pathetic, it's such a turn off. I imagine people can hardly stand being around you as you wallow in self pity. Considering these numerous questions, I must say your girlfriend did the right thing. She left your sorry a-s-s.
2007-05-22 16:09:53 · answer #10 · answered by Sam 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋