Is ugliness a blessing for women?

Question

Studies show that from a very young age we begin to associate the things we are valued for (whether it be beauty, intelligence, humor) with our sense of self and self-worth. Young girls who are singled out as pretty are more likely to depend on their beauty for confidence, identity and advancement later in life. Young girls who are not pretty must find other things to give them a feeling of worth- education, skills, being a good person, etc.- things that in general do not fade with time and offer rewards less dependant on others.

Can it then safely be said that beauty makes it harder for women to be independent and successful- because of the ever-present temptation to rely on their beauty and not their minds and hearts for their sense of identity?

There are certainly beautiful women who are successful, but I imagine it takes a great deal of discipline to choose hard work over the immediate gratification of admiration (from both men and women).

What do you think?

Still too pretty to touch you with a 10-foot pole, Ominous.

sandrine- You sound great, and I am certainly not saying that you can't be both beautiful and intelligent! My point was more that it encourages us to put our focus and energy perhaps on the wrong thing- on looking great, rather than doing well in school. Just a thought!

JJamesS- My level of attractiveness has absolutely no bearing on the questions I put forth. But things for the answer!

Ominous- I love you too much to ever turn you in to the authorities, baby.

Josieb- I am using the standard societal idea of beauty here, though I agree with you that REAL beauty is about a lot more than looks. :-)

nonjourno- you are right, and perhaps I should not be extending the idea of beauty as entirely physical, as I am doing here. I was talking more in terms of how our self-perceptions and thereby our actions and decisions are influenced by how society views us. A strong person, of course, knows that his or her beauty is less about looks and more about who he or she is.

Answer 1

I think this is a tricky gray area. Yes, I think you are right in some ways; some women probably are going to fall back on their looks, but not necessarily every girl will (I don't, for instance, and I consider myself pretty good-looking). I'm very proud of my intelligence, and am considering trying for Mensa in a few years time (my sister is a member, though she is way more smart than me), but if I end up never taking the test, it's not because I feel so beautiful I don't need to try at anything. I don't think ugliness is a blessing for women, any more than I think beauty is a blessing - every silver lining has a cloud.

Answer 2

I think it may be a blessing for them while growing up but a curse eventually.

My preferred woman is one to started out ugly but got beautiful later. Then she knows how to be humble and respectful. Not saying that all beautiful people don't have these traits but most are a bit more stuck up and think they deserve the whole world just for being who they are.

So yes, ugliness can be a blessing for learning and growing's sake. But after that period, hopefully they can get pretty so that all aspects of them are attractive.

Sure a 'good man' would see past the ugliness and all that, but why put such a thing on a good man, be pretty for him as I'm sure he'll try to look good for you as well.

Answer 3

Being beautiful does make it more difficult for a woman to make some correct decisions. Relying more on the brain does raise the intelligence level. Ever heard of the dumb Blondie. However I find that women with very large breasts tend to abuse that fact, rather then a woman with smaller size breasts because they have less to show, and feel that they need to work harder.

Answer 4

No, I really think you can be beautiful and intelligent at the same time! Being or feeling ugly lead some girls to under self-esteem, anorexia or suicide. What's wrong with feeling good under your skin? In High-school, people laughed at me telling me I was ugly but I was on top regarding grades and frustrated. Now, I am a beautiful and successful happy businesswoman!

Answer 5

If he knows you in real life, then he knows full well how you look and obviously doesn't think you're ugly, so just send the video. Is this someone you met on the internet? If so, well, that's a risk you take, I guess. Presumably you wouldn't be involved with him if you thought he was the kind of guy who would "dump" you based on how you look.

Answer 6

Babs I worry about this sort of thinking. People can be beautiful without being physically attractive. To me we concentrate too much on looks. I find attraction in the spirit of a person. Don't get me wrong I get really attracted by a beautiful face and body but also by kindness, caring and people who extend themselves out to help others. I mean was Mother Theresa a beautiful woman? Damn right she was. Would she have won a beauty contest, well no probably not. Get my point? (no pun intended)

Answer 7

As we have seen through experimentation by Tyra and Vanessa Minnillo, ugly women get no respect in this world. It's wrong, but true. If a woman can combine beauty and brains, she will be well aware of the fact that it's wrong for her beauty to carry her for the rest of her life.

Answer 8

So what is your intention? To bring every women to the common denominator; ugly? I think we need to deal with this in the real world. As men are evolved to prize beauty, I do not think that is going to change. Not every pretty girl feels entitled, but people vary and the easy way can be prosperous. It may even be part of women's evolved heritage to use their beauty thus.

Answer 9

any good attribute in one's self is a blessing from god. weather it be beauty, intellegence, good at sports, funny, etc..... you see there are millions of people out there who are bautiful but yet they do not know it. i believe that some one being judge just on the basis of beauty now that comes from society. looks fade over time. you will not always look the way you do so if you are unfortunate enough to be in a society that only judges a person based on looks that is truly unfortunate. my best friend is gergious. but unfortunate for her, her husband keeps her on lock and key and she ended up with low self esteem from all the catastrophes that has befallen her. not only that she complains that men just want to get into her pants and none of them really appreciate her for who she is. she truly is the type of woman who will stop traffic. me on the other hand i am not that great looking i am alright but i am not drop dead gergous. i am intellegent and i have a good looking husband. i do not have to worry about a man molesting me with his eyes right off the bat. my husband actually listened to who i am before we got married. how are you ever going to find a compatible spouce if all the man is thinking about is your looks. there are benifits in most attributes. pros and cons etc.... so in the end i think it all has to do with society. i am a muslim. i wear a head scarf. in many muslim countries beautiful women and not so hot women wear head scarves. you usually just see the face. marriages last longer there then they do in the west. i guess for reasons like you stated above. getting to appreciate who a person is for who they are rather then what they look like. there are also cons when it comes to being not so hot. many women who are not so hot will end up with a guy and the guy will walk all over them so they end up taking it because they fear that they can't get any thing else. what could be the blessing there. in the end no matter who you are your parents / guardians have a responsibility to raise you correctly and instill morals in each and every human being that there is more to people then just looks. we should be taught to love ourselves and respect other people. in this case everyone will win.

Answer 10

Beauty comes from within and not an outward show of beauty on the outside. One can be so pretty and yet their ugly personality can make them look so ugly on the outside is a great example.