Ex boyfriend, married a month ago, wants to relive our intimate encounters?

Question

Dated a man while back and we had some awesome intimate moments. He went back to seeing ex wife, I remarried, he left ex and met someone else, I got divorced. In short, one of us was in a relationship when the other was not for a period of over a year. We stayed in contact during these times and he remarked several times how this woman lacked in finesse during intimate times. He married her a month ago.
He emailed me last week to let me know he was going out of town on business, had a new computer and what times he was available to talk, how much he remembered the chemistry we had. Mind you this is 2 weeks almost to the day he came home from his honeymoon. We connected via Yahoo messenger on Sunday night, I asked wedding details, his reponse, 2 people met, dated and married. He wanted to relive all the intimate moments we shared and how much he missed it.
My question is - do I tell the wife?

Answer 1

Tell him to stop having contact with you as you don't do married men. Of course then you need to be a good person and have no contact with him...do you think you can do that?

Answer 2

I have ran into something similar over the last couple of years. I watched a x play 2 guys at the same time, and get away with it. I know that everytime I am around her that she knows that I know, which she got away with what she did to me also. The fact is their is children involved, and I do not want to upset the order of her life with her new husband. I once held a lot of vengence in my life to let her go through the pain which I went through, by getting caught. The answer which I came up with was for me to pray for her to stop doing what she is doing, and for the children not to know the dark side which exists within their moms life. A child should not be exposed to such abuse, and the way the divorce court system works, I would have to reveal my x, which would upset her which would play out in the childrents lives. Our nations custody courts, are a joke. Their is nothing equal about them, or the custody you will have is determined to not be equal. In NC there has to be considered a primary which ends up with all the power. If anyone would like it to be equal, be ready to pay a ton of money which could be spent on the children, and bash the other parent. The more they keep you in court the more the lawyers, and government makes off it. If you had a choice from the beginning to be completely equal people would stay together, and work out their problems. When divorce wasn't so easy, people would take their marriage vowels more serious, and children had better lives, with great role models.

Answer 3

That really doesn't sound good to me. He loves you but wants to get away from you for a little bit to "figure out his life"? That's usually code for someone wanting to play around some but try not to feel guilty about it, and/or wants a safety net to be able to return to. Has he actually said what it is he wants to accomplish with this separation? Or why he couldn't do it in a relationship with you? Big warning flags if he can only speak in general terms like this. You can certainly work on yourself... for yourself. Changes you make for him likely won't last, even if he does come back. But you can't control if he does choose to return or not, or whatever he may be doing in the meantime. He's already told you that he seeks attention from others -- affection and/or flirting and/or sex -- to self-medicate his depression; you haven't said anything that suggests that this would change (now while separated, or if you did get back together). Are you okay with that? If not, what would you do?

Answer 4

Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing he can still have you and a wife. To him, you were not worthy of marrying but ok for sex, etc. You will eventually realize this cannot work, unless he divorces his wife to be with you then he doesn't truly want to be with you. You will soon find yourself questioning your own worth, and it will be torture to see him pour himself into his new wife and future kids while you are sitting by the phone hoping for a booty call. Don't tell the wife, but don't do anything with him. Cut off contact if he can't just be your friend without anything intimate.

Answer 5

Ah cheeze, that guy is full of himself, he proposed to a woman of his dreams, went on his honeymoon with his bride.
The next thing he wants to RELIVE intimate moments shared with you?

Come on, girlfriend! You can find someone better then him. He has to get his head straighten out, and WHO KNOWS what's he really doing, could he do the same thing behind your back?

If you tell his wife, he could have some evil schemes under his sleeve. I would think to let her find out for herself, that way the 'cheating guy' can't put all the blame in your lap...Drop hints for her to pick it up and lead right to his misdeeds.

What are vows for, what's really wrong with 'cheating guy's head? Did he get boinked on the head several times?

Answer 6

You don't tell his wife anything. She will find out sooner or later that he is a cheater.

And you should avoid ALL contact with this man if you want to move on and actually have a chance at finding a nice man.

This guy has used you before, knows you care about him, and is playing mind games with you. If you continue to have contact, sooner or later you will meet and you will bed him and then you will be miserable because he can't be with you.

If you decide to continue playing with fire, you will get burned!
Your choice.....

Answer 7

First tell him what you to had is now over and he should be happy with the woman he married. And that you want your own companion than sharing one. That you have learn that what you did wasn't something that you would like to continue with someone else companion. Come straight to the point and be frim about it. If he fail to understand, just tell him that you want to ask your wife if its ok to see you on the side. Hopefully this will sink in....good luck

Answer 8

On the one hand, you seem to like this guy, because you keep in contact with him. On the other hand, you seem to be saying that you think he was wrong to proposition you. (And what difference does it make if it's 2 weeks after his honeymoon or two years? Either way, it's an attempt to cheat on his wife.) If what he did was morally wrong in your opinion, and I think it is, then there is no good reason to maintain any contact with him. If someone you consider a friend does something you find morally dispicable, what you should do is stop being that person's friend, and find a better class of friends.

Answer 9

NO, but you should keep away from him. His wife is not your problem. Don't bring drama. Tell him that he's got a good woman and leave it at that. If you tell his wife, you are only going to stir up problems. Also, what makes you so sure that she is going to believe you over him? She's probably only going to think that you are trying to ruin her relationship.

Answer 10

Tell this guy to get lost. He will just always use you. He didn't marry you, he married her. He will tell you what you want to hear just to get laid. Make sure you have visual proof before you tell her. Because he will deny it. And she will probably believe him. But if my husband was having sex with someone or even trying to I would want to know. Go ahead and tell her, but then drop it and never talk to either again. Move on. Because if he does it to her , he will do it to you too.