What are some ideas to get your boyfriend for 8 years to care about you more without providing sex?

Question

Because sex is obvious,
He did me wrong by getting some from Escorts and I caught him. So now he want's this second chance and I gave to him, we occasionally have sex but I feel a disconnect on my part and his. So I do want to work this out any ideas how to get him to care about me more?

And with out brining up the past so that it's like a hook.

Answer 1

Leave him. He OBVIOUSLY has serious intimacy issues if he is hiring escorts....

Answer 2

Sometimes there is no answers, if the person is looking for away to trap themselves even more. Why do you want this to work? 1st of all... he was dishonest, disrespectful and unthoughtful. 2nd... the trust has been broken, he didn't tell you about the things he was doing, you found out. 3rd...He did not take your health in consideration and neither are you. The disconnection is understood on your part, but the disconnection on his part means, he doesn't want sex with you. He is now use to whatever the escorts was doing for him. 4th... A boyfriend for 8 years means the relationship is not going any farther. I wouldn't be concern about making him happy now. You are just a perminate fixure to him. You know... he really don't want to spend his life with you, but doesn't want to spend his life without you. Most of the men, do not like to be caught in the things they do, they turn the blame on the female, because you was '' in their business''. That is why they can keep doing what they want to do and continue to look you in your face. The dumb thing about it is... they do not see that they really can't keep up the cheating without falling off at something at home. If you are looking for ideas to make him care more about you, there is no ideas. It was sex with other people that cause you to be in this mess. You can't make anybody care, love, want, need, like or be with you. If you have to use ideas and games to make him care about you, then what in the world do you want with him? Men want you to start out making love to them. Then after a while they want you to turn tricks to keep them interested. Keep trying... maybe he'll lose his erection and then you'll have his full attention or he could give his heart to Jesus and will have to marry you to have sex. I rather see the last one, but mom say.... the thing you love to do the most, is usually the thing you lose first.

Answer 3

It's all about trust and connection. Some will say you can rebuild the trust and connection. But that takes time.

He is of the view that he didn't really cheat because the type of sex he had was disconnected physical and meaningless. He feels guilty now which is why he is having trouble connecting with you. He may promise not to do it again, but on some level once a cheater always a cheater.

The interesting question, which is one he won't likely answer, is what was he not getting with you that he thought he could get with an empty physical romp.

Answer 4

You want a man to care MORE about you while you hope to openly deny him Sex??? Even though you KNOW that that is "obviously" one way to go about it.

Sorry. Its doesn't work like that.

You cannot expect MORE for yourSELF, if you want to give less. Its only fair and makes perfect sense. You cannot expect to NOT GIVE SOMEONE what they want and expect to get what YOU want without earning it in SOME way.

YOU SAID --> "without providing sex". Do you NOW know why he "got some from Escorts"??? Is there a possibily he had some fun because he wasn't having any?? Remember, a man has as much of a right (and responsibility) to go out and get anything he wants in this world in any manner that he chooses. If you want him to come to YOU instead... MAKE HIM.

If you want a man to care about you more... Dont expect anything from him that you have not tried your very best to EARN. He is not automatically supposed to care about you. If you want him to want to be with you, love you and be commited to you in every way, you need to go out of your way and give him GOOD REASON to be. This is true for EVERYONE. When more people understand this, marriages and relationships will stand a chance.

If you want you man to care about you more, its going to be up to YOU.

Not HIM.... YOU.

If you did your VERY BEST, then you have nothing to worry about and you can start looking for a new man who will live up to your standards TODAY.

Answer 5

Get counselling, the two of you, if you want to make this work. This may be 'his fault' (or partially yours, I don't know), but if this guy went outside the relationship for sex before, and now you are barely having sex, things are doomed.

You both need to commit 100% if you want this to work. While it may not be your fault, you are not putting in 100% now. You're wasting your time. You need to either make things right as best you can, or break up and move on.

Answer 6

You will need to fix yoruself first. Obviously you still feel betrayed so yuo will have to get past this and move to the next level. Perhaps suggest a getaway? You have been with him for a while so you would be able to figure what he likes? If sex is important then try something kinky or sexy.

Answer 7

Another one bites the DUST!! When will women teach their daughters how important the sex is in a relationship. Don't want him to cheat screw his brains out and not the same old dull and boring sex get NASTY is that hard for women too understand

Answer 8

After 8 years, if he doesn't care about you enough, then I don't think he ever will. It's not about the sex, it's that he doesn't feel about you the way you feel he should... the only chance I'd say is counseling- but it's not about what YOU need to do to "win" his affection- that's BS.

Answer 9

If you feel that you are perfect and that any past mistakes on his part will keep being brought up perhaps it would be best to be rid of each other and move on. I don't think it would be possible to care for somebody as petty and narrow minded as some appear to be.

Answer 10

Time to move out of the trailer park sweetheart.