i ask this because i am a very passionate person when it comes to love and relationships. I love my husband dearly and i really believe he does not even know how much he is loved, it scares me how much love i have, maybe i am like this because i have dreamed about marraige and the man of my dreams since i was a little girl and as a teenager and even unto my adult years i have only been hurt by men...i can't honestly say i have been with a man who has NOT hurt me...so the question i am asking here...my husband has deeply hurt me, more then i think he really knows, he has done what i used to have night mares about and he braught my greatest fears to life...and now i am trying to save us and i forgave him for what he did, but i still cry and i still hurt....WILL I GET BETTER?...or is this out of my hands and what should he do to help me?
2007-05-22 08:12:19 · 13 answers · asked by sab c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Every pain takes time to heal. My advice would be to put everything on the table. Talk to him, let him know that you are hurting. If he love you he'll take everything into consideration and do what he can to let you know that he love you in return and that he is sorry for what happened between you. Love hurts you to make you see things clearer, if there is a second time around. Don't give up on it until you know you should, but don't be stupid for anyone. Maybe this is a lesson to make you stronger. You can't get through life without loving and loving whole hearted is the only way to love completely.
2007-05-22 08:23:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anastasia G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seek couples counseling.
You may have forgave him for hurting you but you can not forget. So having a third person mediate the discussion of what went on, feelings, and desires of change can help resolve the confussion you feel. If he is not willing to go the lengths you need to feel true love with him again, your better off without. But be sure to seek personal couseling so that your life can continue in a positive manner.
2007-05-22 15:21:01 · answer #2 · answered by ajallstarr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think love generally hurts. I also think you're onto something about dreaming about it since you were young. If you put love on such a high pedestal I don't think that anything will live up to your expectations. Love is certainly not perfect because it involves people and people don't love unconditionally. You are the only one who can get over being hurt. You can either do it or you can't do it. It's pretty black and white.
2007-05-22 15:19:58 · answer #3 · answered by jimmer333 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was and maybe still am abit like u. and i think like u i was too engrossed with the man in my life, the be all and end all , i tended to subconciously choose needy men. and when something went wrong it was the end of my world. but i think after being hurt many times i started to change without realising . now i dont feel under any obligation to put up with rubbish . im my own person and i feel great . i did go to therapy which you may laugh at but its really worked . i could see why i was the way i was and why i put up with things and why i was so crushed. i also dreamed of the knight in shining armour who would make everything right and love me till thje end of time and i could trust with everything. but then i woke and realised that its not real life. but i do feel good about myself and my life now . i feel u need to reach the same point life is to short to feel so bad when u dont have to good luck
2007-05-22 19:46:52 · answer #4 · answered by julie z 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with Jules, i was in a relationship with man, i made my whole world, he cheated on me, When i dumped him, and started dating other men, he "woke' up and tried every way to win me back, he told friends it was seeing me out with other people, not sitting at home crying over him that made him realize just how much he loved me.. You are living in a fairy tale world, nothing is ever perfect. . But dont become his doormat.. youve set yourself up to be hurt again, and most likely you will be. you will carry this anger and fear with you, No it will not get better. There were no consequences for his actions . i would say be prepared to be hurt again and again
2007-05-22 15:35:30 · answer #5 · answered by butterfly7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive been there. I am there now in a sence...but im not married.
if hes cheating on you, i would move on.
maybe the love can be saved, but he needs to know what he has, and sometimes that means you have to show him what life is like without you.
If you are unable to do that, try talking to him. I dont know the details of your situation, so I cant tell you exactly what to do. I specialize in relationships, so if you would like to give me more detail, i can give you more awnsers.
good luck hun.
:)
2007-05-22 15:18:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women are brought up on all these illusions of perfect relationships. We are taught that men will save us, make us whole, make our life complete...blah, blah, blah. It's all a bunch of bs. You have to be happy without a man first and foremost. Just look at them as a nice accessory, but not a necessity!
2007-05-22 15:19:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
without knowing what your husband did it's hard to answer the question. my ex-husband hurt me in a way i never thought possible by cheating on me. i loved him more than anything in this world and thought i'd never be able to live without him. once i realized i could live without him and didn't need him to make me happy, i had no problems letting go. you'll be fine without him and deserve someone who would never think of hurting you the way your husband has.
2007-05-22 15:58:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh well you got it bad!!!!
however with love comes hurt pain anger laughs smiles among other details.
you will be fine,its a phase everyone goes through!
2007-05-22 15:21:35 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, love dont hurt its an illsion emo
you dont want to hear second:
2007-05-22 15:14:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋