Before Getting Married?

Question

Some people have said that it's a good idea to do a marriage course before actually committing yourself....your thoughts?
How many people out there have actually gone through a course before tying the knot?
What can one expect when attending such a course?
Are there other ways of being able to 'get to know' your partner?
(Been in a relationship for 6 years - just wondering what types of things should be considered before actually going through with the wedding.)

Answer 1

it is wise to learn from those who have more experience than you. I guess if you've been living with your partner for a long time you've probably encountered most things, but if you have waited until you get married to live together there will be lots of things that cause problems. Just simply having a roomate brings out all sorts of little things.

A marriage class would deal with how you work out these differences, it would ask you to discuss the big issues, children, money, household duties.... They would lead you to discuss issues that commonly cause problems in a marriage. Ideologies, philosophies on life, personality differences, religion, dreams and goals .....

If you can hit on these topics before you get married and come to some real conclusions, you may save yourself from a divorce down the road.

Answer 2

I would think that in six years, you should have already gotten to know your partner fairly well. I've never heard of a marriage course, but I live in a rural area, so we don't have a lot of these things that bigger cities have. Anyway, if you both wanted to attend a course, then I'm sure it wouldn't hurt anything. If you want something informal, I just think it's important that you have open, honest conversations about the "big" issues - children (how many, how soon, how to discipline, etc.), religion (are you both of the same religion, if not how do you raise your children), where will you live, financial goals, do you both have a "Hey, if it doesn't work out, there's always divorice" attitude, or do you both think you should fight to make it work against all odds, does he think that once married he'll be your boss, or will it be an equal partnership? I believe it is important to have these sorts of issues "settled" as much as possible before getting married so that both of you are making an informed decision. It is better to find out now that you disagree and either find some common ground or agree to disagree than to find out after your marriage which could only lead to more heartache. My husband and I were together two years before we got married, and we have now been married eight years. I'm not saying we have the perfect marriage, but we both put all our cards on the table before hand so that we each knew what we were getting going into it; therefore, we haven't had very many unpleasant surprises - we already knew what each other's reaction to certain situations would be and therefore knew how to approach them. Talk to married people that you know to see what sorts of issues blind-sided them after they got married if you're having trouble coming up with topics that may need to be discussed.

Answer 3

My wife and I did this it was actually part of the minister's prerequisites who we chose to marry us he had his own prayer counselling services with his wife and it was mandatory to go through this pre-marital counselling before we married. I would say do it this allows both of you a oppurtunity to discuss everything you want in marriage from how many kids you would like or if you even want them. How important money and matrialistic items
are to you. How much you love each other and the reasons why?. You can also ask questions that may reveal your future mate like have they ever cheated on a past BF/GF, have they ever been raped or sexually malested. I know this may be pretty broad but things from the past can reflect the way you act towards someone in the present and in the future. Pre-marriage counselling can even let you see if this person is the right person for you before you tie the knot.

You can generally expect to ask questions to your fiance and they have the opportunity to ask questions back. I think if you have already been dating for six years you should know each other quite well but who knows maybe there is something your hiding from him and something he is hiding from you?.

It is best to have all the cards dealt before you walk down the aisle remember marriage is suppose to be with one person for your lifetime so choose wisely.

Congrats and God Bless and may you do what your gut and heart is tellling you to do!

Answer 4

Yes, I totally believe in it. I think it's necessary and a good idea. If more people did this, whether in a religious context or not, than there would be fewer divorces, imo. My bf and I have talked about getting married and honestly, when the time comes, I absolutely plan on taking pre-marital courses. We want to stay married and this is a way to do that. I think it's a great idea! Go for it!

Answer 5

We had a pastor that required pre-marital counseling. Even though my now- husband and I didn't feel like we needed it, it was good to do and confirm what we already knew. We did an 8 week program that went over issues such as children, religion and finances.

Answer 6

YES, YES, YES ! It IS a good idea to go to M counseling, even if you have been together for 6 years already. Alot of people say "it's just a piece of paper" BEFORE-hand; but after the I DO's; they change. And people DO change over the years.

Answer 7

I went to one (as I am a Catholic and it is a requirement) and it is more to help you understand what the marriage is all about: the commitment, the sacrifice, the understanding

Answer 8

It can't hurt, it's worth a try, anything to help make your future marriage last as long as possible.