My husband has cheated twice in our marriage, and I forgave him for all of them. Now, he is trying to cheat again with his ex-wife. She is currently married now. He went behind my back to see her last weekend out of town, and he had no intention of telling me. I happened to know this because one day I came home from school early, and saw his email. I got nozy, so I read the ex-wife and his email. I was very upset, so I threaten him to leave, but he won't. I wrote him a note posting on the bathroom mirror that he need to leave and take my step-son with him. So he called me and cry like a baby, and promise me that he will stop talking to her or seeing her. I DON'T TRUST HIM ANYMORE. Should I stay or leave? We have two wonderful sons together and I just don't want to hurt my sons feeling. On the other hand, I don't want to live with someone who is always trying to do things behind my back. I wouldn't be so angry if he would be honest with me even if he wants to see his ex-wif
2007-05-22 07:42:26 · 25 answers · asked by Rose 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you know what you need to do...so do it already, and get your life back on track.
2007-05-22 07:47:00 · answer #1 · answered by fonzarelli_1999 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you broke up his marriage, you are the wronged woman. Adultery is a basis for divorce in the Bible. Just think of yourself and your sons and the happiness of the three of you. Imagine you have divorced him and it is 3 years later - describe the scene and see if you are happy or sad.
Do not cut off your nose to spite your face, but do not consider him in the calculation.
Do not divorce to punish him or to try to control him in some way. Do it because it makes you better off.
He is counting on your being weak.
If you just want to discipline him, clear out the joint account, take the car and get cash advances on the joint credit cards and leave him for a while - say 10 days - and see what you think. If you are working take your holidays. Also make sure that you take the hard drive out of the computer or if it a laptop, take it, and take his cell phone with you.
2007-05-22 14:56:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheaters cheat. Being a cheater is kind of like being a sociopath. They do not empathise with your feelings of betrayal. At best they think monogamy is stupid and what you don't know wont hurt you. At worst they get off on the betrayal and feel validated by their power to destroy you this way.
You can always trust a proven cheater to cheat again. Stay with him only if you are a masochist and enjoy being treated in that way.
It is better in the long run to just have a zero tolerence for someone who has cheated on you or even someone who admits to cheating in thier past.
2007-05-22 15:00:45 · answer #3 · answered by ninebadthings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong to feel hurt and upset...the fact that you told him to "take my step-son" bothers me alot but we'll leave that one alone. You need to have a sit down with him and explain what you want from him USING WORDS and then tell him what you need to stay committed tothe marriage. Make sure that whatever you ask for is realistic and that you are prepared to hear his wants and needs as well. Take time to really think about it and see if you can make it work.
2007-05-22 14:47:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you selling your self short! You have ever right to leave based on the bible the only reason to divorce is cheating! Started getting your money together, give your self a year! Start planning to make sure you have a cushion when you leave him! Start thinking of your self as divorced and seperate yourself from him! Also stop being so availble to him let him wonder were you are and who your with!
2007-05-22 14:55:16 · answer #5 · answered by shasha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have left him after the first time he cheated, once a cheat always a cheat. remember
"It's better to be alone for the right reasons, then to be with somebody for the wrong reasons"
pack his bags and send him down the road, pleanty of fish in the water.
2007-05-22 14:48:22 · answer #6 · answered by Michael M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot continue to live, ever being happy, this way. So, yes, I think you should leave him. It is also unfair to your children to be in this type of constant upheaval. Two parents are better than one, but only if both are good parents and a cheater is not a good parent, he is a selfish fool.
2007-05-22 14:47:04 · answer #7 · answered by Sheila 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whoa honey, you forgiving him all of those times just makes you seem like a pushover, like he can go and do it again, knowing you'll take him back every time.you need to get out of it if not only for yourself but for your sons sake to. you don't want them to get hurt in this either but this is the best thing for all of y'all.
Once a cheater....always a cheater!
hes no good for you dear, you can find someone so much better!
2007-05-22 14:46:58 · answer #8 · answered by Alex W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
strike 3 and your out! he cheated on u 2 times and attempting a 3rd. why continue putting urself through this ur husband is a slimeball and ur kids deserve a dad who will be faithful to their mom. he took a vow to be faithful and ovbiously hes having a hard time keeping it in his pants. hes not going to change so u need to change and leave this loser. goo dluck and be strong!
2007-05-22 14:46:39 · answer #9 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't control a man. If sex is brought up in the conversation then a man will do it. You have to accept him the way he is and hope it either gets better, or he leaves.
2007-05-22 14:46:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, if you don't have trust you have nothing....
I am very sorry to hear that this is what's happening between you and your husband, it's never easy to come to a decision like the one your toying with.
You deserve better, you deserve honesty!
2007-05-22 14:47:23 · answer #11 · answered by JD 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋