we bought the thing for ME to use on her and now it seems as though I may be replaced by it (my feeling) she uses it without me making me feel less then needed. I caught her using it yesterday and still am mad and not talking to her about anything. let me know your ideas ..... for the record i do not do anything without her and am not allowed to .... she would not even let me have a vid. she tossed them. I believe she did this because we had a disagreement earlier and was getting back at me. she did not offer me to help her or do her ....
2007-05-22 07:36:13 · 36 answers · asked by goober h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not cheating...but if you two agreed on its use then you should tell her how you feel about her using it without you and if that doesnt work...throw it out
2007-05-22 07:41:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave this woman alone. Do not have back in forth phone conversations using "the dog" issue as a ruse. An yes you are doing that. Is this actually cheating? No. But your standing on the edge of a very slippery slope and there is a cliff near by. You sure as heck don't want your wife to not trust you because if that happens you lose the whole foundation = trust is the glue to your marriage. Is it worth it talking and going back in forth with this woman inorder to lose your marriage and wife?? Hold this woman off in getting close and personal and be more standoffish with her. Do it for the sake of keeping calm and happy marriage relations.
2016-04-01 02:40:31 · answer #2 · answered by Yesennia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not concider it cheating, but cheating is a relative thing. Some people concider intercourse only as cheating while other believe just going out with someone of the oppisite sex cheating. If you feel cheated on then it's cheating.
On the matter of her taking care of herself and not letting you do the same for yourself.
Bring home a video (a cheep one, she'll probibly throw it away) and tell her as long as she get to have her toy then you get to have the video. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Men are visual creatures so the video is the same as her using the toy (most women will disagree with me on that but if you really think about it, it is the same). If she does throw away, or hide your video, then do the same for her toy. If she get's another do the same. Hopefully she will understand the relationship about what she is doing and either quit or allow you the same curtisy.
2007-05-22 08:20:32 · answer #3 · answered by honest guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see that this bothers you.
If you catch her, why not join her and ask if you can help. You bought the toy for that purpose right?
Sometimes, women can want the sensation, but not the intimacy that goes along with sex. Kind of like guys when they masturbate alone. It's the sensation and not the intimacy.
I think that if your wife is using said toy, then you should also be allowed to "play" with whatever device you choose to (except another woman!). She may be disapproving of videos because of how some women are degraded by them. So ask if you can have a subscription to Playboy. The material that they have in there is nudity, but tastefully done and not done in a way that exploits women.
Don't see her wanting to play as a detraction from you and your sexual prowess. Think of it as a way to improve her sensation and appetite.
2007-05-22 07:56:31 · answer #4 · answered by bdragonrose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun I don't think it is like cheating at all. My husband bought me one for him to use on me awhile ago, but told me if I ever need to when he's not available to use it anywyas. I mean you can look at like this too that it is much better than cheating because she is not wanting to be with another man or anything. She is just pleasing herself by herself which most men can not say they haven't done that. You guys use your hands all the time. But in my opinion for a woman it's just not the same to use our own hand cause it doesn't feel as good. So, be happy she isn't with any other men and even if she didn't offer how come you didn't feel you could help her anyways? She is your wife right? My husband most of the time would help me or even just watched if he saw me pleasing myself in anyway.
2007-05-22 07:45:10 · answer #5 · answered by Nicole 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are jealous of a $14 toy?
Talk about insecure and baseless worrying.
Not cheating, but fairly inconsiderate, and esp because you let her be the Penis police at your house.
I think you need to talk to her, tell her how it makes you feel-she can't argue with that!and ask to have some boundaries in place for her use of her electric friend, and expect her to honor them even when she is mad at you.
It is very childish to punish you that way. Takes all the fun out of it, too.
Remember, you can kiss, hold her, listen to her, love her and open pickle jars. She will never replace you with a machine, unless you stop doing all that.
Looks to me like both of you could grow up a tad.
2007-05-22 07:51:24 · answer #6 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The word caught says it all. That implies that she was doing something wrong. Which of course she wasn't. But I am sure that based upon what you have said here, that you made her fell as though she was doing something wrong. I have had a similar experience. I would want my wife to masturbate until she goes cross eyed. At least at that point I would know that she has a good healthy sex drive. I would then take advantage of that sex drive. Continue to make a big deal about it and you will f ck yourself out of a good thing. NO PUN INTENDED.
2007-05-22 10:24:08 · answer #7 · answered by you know who 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it should be even. What you cant do should be the same for her? I dont see it as a big problem or even close to cheating. She could be out with someone else and that would definitely be cheating but instead she is alone in her bedroom. Although, you should be able to do the same.
2007-05-22 07:41:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not cheating--a vibrator can never replace the real thing. But if it bothers her or you feel left out because she uses it on her own, you need to talk to her and voice your concerns. maybe you two can get matching vibrators or something!
2007-05-23 14:55:20 · answer #9 · answered by Cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is called she was mastubating you idiot if you had this problem of the thought of her using it without your presence then you should not have bought it. Go in the other room and give your manhood a good stroking really who cares did you ever think she may have been horny and you ain't there. Would you rather her go to the next door neighbour and have her ride his johnson grow-up.
2007-05-22 07:46:27 · answer #10 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what in the world are you mad at ?
it is not cheating - and she has every right to make herself feel good. the vibrator can give you the clitoral stimulation that you need to climax - maybe that is what it takes for her. can you honestly say that you have never yanked on it when she was not around ? talk to her
2007-05-22 07:51:37 · answer #11 · answered by lambchop09 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋