My mother-in-law emailed my husband...?

Question

My mother-in-law emailed my husband asking him about what bills we have, if we have joint or separate checking accounts, and who pays what...

My husband emailed her back telling her what all bills we have (which I think is non of her business). And then she replied saying 'you didn't answer me about your checking accounts. Joint or separate? And who pays what?'

WHY is this any of her business, and is it wrong that this bothers me?!

I guess she's looking out for him because his ex didn't work when they lived together, and he paid EVERYTHING.....but it also ticks me off that she'd even COMPARE me to that piece of trash!

It's just irritating. Anyway....am I crazy here, or does this seem out of line?

Yes, she is EXTREMELY controlling. Any time he and I have a disagreement she ALWAYS noses in. She'll email me and tell me what she *thinks* is the problem and tells me how I should and should not feel. So this goes beyond the finances...

And I'm sorry to the person who feels it IS her business...okay he is her son and they have *shared* more than he and I have....MY finances are NOT her business...and OUR finances are MINE. I don't go run to my mommy and tell her what's going on in my husband's life...

Answer 1

Welcome to the married life, sweetie! I guarantee that woman is going to p!ss you off about something or other for years to come. This is the nature of marriages. She is his mother, you resent the intrusion, and if it wasn't this it would be something else. Tell you husband to get out from under the apron! It is time he distanced himself from her. Your finances are definitely none of his mother's business.

Answer 2

It's none of her business. You should sit down and calmly discuse this with your husband in a non-confertational setting. What ever you do don't bring up the ex and if a comperison to her comes up just calmly state your not her. Possibly suggest debt counsling and budgeting even if your not having money issues, but do it together. The more you both know whats coming in and going out then there won't be any problems or surpises. You could even check out a web sight called "crown finacial ministries" lot of good usfull information on the subjects and more.

Answer 3

It sounds as if his mother wants to control EVERYTHING in your lives! Your finances have nothing to do with her, and you need to tell your husband how this make you feel. I would never do that to my sons or daughters, their lives are their own, and if they have any problems, they are free to come and ask for my advice IF they want to, but I never interfere. I would have been highly upset if my mother or mother in law had interfered in my life. I understand that she wants to be sure that you are not doing the same thing as his ex, but she should have a bit more faith in her son! Point out to him how little faith she is showing in him, by assuming that he would once again be married to someone who would use him the way his ex did. I would also very nicely (or not so nicely, depending on your thoughts) tell her how degrading and annoying you find her interference. You certainly have every right to be upset, and you do not have to accept such behavior.Being his mother does not give her the right to poke her nose into your business!

Answer 4

My mom in regulation is an identical way. My husband and that i've got been married 7-years. She continues to be attempting to get them returned jointly. Mil talks to ex on a daily foundation, invitations my husband over yet no longer me yet then the ex is there. The ex is in it too she calls my husband in any respect hours of the evening to communicate and tell him she loves him, regardless of the shown fact that I placed my foot down 6-years in the past the ex while she calls has to communicate to me cuz she does not have his quantity. they have a infant jointly. This infant became the made of a one evening stand no relationship ever. those 2 (the ex and the mil) are nuts!!!! The ex is an particularly nasty stripper/prostitute and curiously it relatively is a lot greater advantageous then a police officer/veteran. The mil suggested to me human beings that connect the protection rigidity are valueless people who should die.... Ooooh yet being a stripper is a occupation of a nicely respected guy or woman of the community!?!? Wtf unwell of the two one in each and every of them they are the two morally backwards and incorrect. Sorry my little rant on those pos's. just to make each and every person happy why could no longer they bypass stay to tell the story an island and get some style of sluggish yet surely deadly affliction

Answer 5

She is out of line, as is your husband. It's none of her business and he should have told her so. You and your husband need to sit down and talk. Tell him how you feel and that you do not want him to give her any more information about your finances.

Answer 6

Sorry, none of her business. You should have a very long talk with your husband for even answering her questions in regards to your finances. Keep in mind she only asked cause she new your husband would tell.... I would be very insulted.

Answer 7

It is normal for mothers to want to protect their sons. I am a mother-in-law. However, my son and I have set boundaries. Don't discuss your business concerning your wife to me. Right after he married her I explained this: Do not ever put your hands on her, let her put her hands on you. Do not call names at each other. Do not over extend yourself financially. Do not accept cheating either way it goes. If you follow these rules and your not the offender then you have something to talk to me about. So no, you are not crazy. She doesn't have boundaries. My son has an ex-girlfriend. It ended terrible, but I'd don't compare apples to oranges. She needs to learn this too.

Answer 8

It's just another wonderful perk from being married!!! Enjoy! And yes by the way, it's way out of line. I would tell my husband to cut the cord. I don't think there is a thing wrong with you, it's your damn business and no one elses.

Answer 9

Seems out of line to me! Your business is your business and she has no right to ask those things...let alone to have your hubby actually answer them! I'd laugh in my MIL's face if she asked me those questions. I can understand her concern for her son, but for pete's sake, there's some lines that were crossed here, and it's none of her concern what you do or don't do, who pays for what and why. I'd have a talk w/ your hubby, your household situation is no one else's business but your own!

Answer 10

No, you are not crazy and yes, it is very out of line. It is not wrong that this bothers you. I would have hit the roof if in your place. Your husband should have told her that kind of info is none of her business. She sounds kind of controlling. I can't believe he just told her what bills you guys have.