My husband recently bought me a new wedding ring. He basically upgraded my old one for a larger stone. It is a Tiffany style 18k 1 1/2 carat Princess cut solitaire w/platinum head, & it is beautiful...but the thing is...I was really wanting a Pear. I have hinted to him over the years that when he was ready to upgrade to a larger stone, I wanted a Pear shaped solitaire. I know woman have there own styles of what they prefer & I thought it was up to the woman to pick out which ring/stone she likes the best...I dont want to sound ungrateful, but is it wrong to be a little disappointed? He said when he gave it to me, "A Princess for a Princess"...i thought that was soo sweet. But I still woulda preferred a pear. Its my wedding ring, that I will wear til I die. Please help me understand my feelings about this...Im not an ungrateful person...this to me is just different, its my wedding ring....any help? He did tell me in 5 yrs or more he would upgrade to a 2 or 2 1/2 ct, should I wait til?
2007-05-22 07:29:13 · 23 answers · asked by Redd 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Before anyone says, "Why keep upgrading?"...when we got married 7 yrs ago, my husband said he wanted to buy me a 3 carat diamond...he couldnt afford it back than, so he said hes getting there & wont stop upgrading til he gets what he wanted originally for me...which I thought was sweet!!
2007-05-22 07:58:09 · update #1
I don't think it is wrong of you to feel a little disappointed, ok, maybe ALOT disappointed, lol Just goes to show how much men pay attention, huh? lol (I'm half kidding). And if he had gotten you the pear shaped, you probably would'nt have wanted to hear him say, "A PEAR for a PEAR!". All kidding aside, sometimes when we give a gift to somone, we see it ourselves and think, Oh that is nice, I would like that, etc...but the bottom line is a ring is nice and pretty and all, but it IS just a symbol of his love for you, not the actual love, and that is more priceless and beautiful than ANY material object. For whatever reason, he thought you would love this particular ring, so I would just accept it and really try to learn to love it because it came with such good intentions.
2007-05-22 07:50:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lesson learned by both. If the wife wants the husband to be involved other than paying the bill, be ready to accept the outcome. Because there are a whole of questions that most guys wouldn't know jack about, they usually just either take the easiest path or fall prey to the salesman.
For the husband, it is not something he should take on voluntarily. It is usually a thankless job. Something always goes wrong and the wife only harps on the mishap. Next time, just be the driver, let her pick, say little except whether you can afford it or not, and then just pay up.
Grateful or ungrateful? Be real. A woman will never erase that little discomfort in her brain. She can't sleep, can't eat, can't stop thinking about, and can't stop talkiing about it to her girlfriends. It will eat her up alive.
2007-05-22 14:46:25 · answer #2 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not bad to want something different....However there's a fine line between what is ungrateful and what isn't. What if he asked you to do something and you didn't? Would you expect him to come right out and tell you? Would you feel he was ungrateful? Basically what it comes down to is how you two are with each other. If you were to approach him about it, would he get mad or do you think he thought by buying you something different was a taste of his love for you since it wasn't something you expected (hence you hinting at getting what you want)? There's so many what if's and questions you need to answer before you approach your husband. If you think he'll get offended don't say a word. If you can construct your words to where it doesn't sound bad to him, then approach away. Or if you think he'll understand then go for it. Good luck whatever you do....
2007-05-22 14:39:38 · answer #3 · answered by the_wicked_itch_of_the_west 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Geez, 1 1/2 carat and you're complaining!? Of course you can be a little disappointed about the shape, but don't say anything to him! Wait until you are ready to "upgrade" and then ask if you can shop for it with him and pick it out. Normally it is up to the woman, but either he didn't get the hint or he went with his own preference. Either way, he meant it to be sweet and thoughful. Just bide your time.
2007-05-22 14:34:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
im not trying to sound rude or anything. but it sounds to me like he bought the ring with his heart. he might have thought this one prettier, or he forgot all about the pear shape till after he gave it to you. maby wait till closer to the 5 year mark, and then start talking about the upgrade with the pear. or browse jewerly shops together in a couple of years, find the one you want, and say something like, honey, when we upgrade remember this store. i would like this ring please. he mightactually be emmbarresed already as it is if he realized he got you the wrong ring. if he thinks you are happy with the ring he gave you, dont burst his bubble. like he said, he a princess for a princess. he did it with the love of his heart.
2007-05-22 14:41:04 · answer #5 · answered by NONAME 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give the guy a break. Yes, you should wait. I know he is a man, and you probably told him pear shaped a dozen times, but.... he tried and he put alot of time, money, and thought into it. I would think that since he actually went and picked out something so beautiful would make you not care of the shape. I would think the sentimental value would be worth more.
2007-05-22 14:36:48 · answer #6 · answered by Ginger 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are being ungrateful and very materialistic. You're lucky that you got anything at all! Personally a princess cut is a more classic beautiful look and you should be very happy with what you got. Keep your mouth shut and wait 5 yrs for the next one!
2007-05-22 14:37:49 · answer #7 · answered by #1 Lucy Fan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I picked my ring out to avoid this type of situation. If u tell him, u'll hurt his feelings. Just wear it for the 5 years and upgrade to the pear.
2007-05-22 14:36:05 · answer #8 · answered by Misty D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never could understand why so much value was placed on a shiny rock......however it is more a materialistic show of affection than anything.
You know, you could always buy yourself a ring with a pear shaped diamond and other jewels on it as a cocktail ring.
2007-05-22 14:35:08 · answer #9 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first of all you sound very ungreatful. I do not even have a diamond ring, only a band. And the fact that he UPGRADED the ring you already had is incredibly sweet. Honey a diamond is a diamond...live with it. And count your blessings.
2007-05-22 14:38:58 · answer #10 · answered by Nikki 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋