My daughter resents me for divorcing and leaving her "alone to deal with Mom". Her Mother is emotionally/verbally abusive and when I was there I was "the buffer". Now that I'm not there my daughter feels as if I've left her alone to take the full brunt of it herself. She tells me "I hate my life here". It doesn't help that I've re-married and am quite happy now myself.
Before you ask, yes, I do get as much contact as I can muster, but her Mother has said, "I'd rather see you dead than spend time with [our daughter]" (Yes, that comment was made in front of our daughter) so no, I'm not around nearly as much as I want to be. Also, we're talking about a step-daughter that I raised since she was 2-3 years old. Not technically my child so I don't have legal rights or responsibilities.
This breaks my heart. Has anyone else dealt with this problem? Does anyone have any helpful advice?
If so, thanks in advance...
2007-05-22 07:14:15 · 6 answers · asked by Brett M 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So an emotionally/verbally abusive woman is too much for you, a grown man, to handle, but it;s OK for you to skip out and leave a child to deal with it? I don't blame your child for resenting you. You saved your own skin and left her to fry. You're a jerky dad.
And by the way- you DO have legal responsibilities to the girl because you acted as her father for years- look up the Doctrine of Equitable Estoppel
I doubt it breaks your heart- you're quite happy with your new wife and life.
2007-05-22 07:23:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
This is a sad situation but you mad a key point "Not technically my child so I don't have legal rights or responsibilities." Although that does not stop you from feeling like her natural father legally you cannot do anything unless you can prove her natural mother as unfit. I would say if you have a chance to sit her down explain that to her if she is old enough and let her know that you love her and ill always be there for her. That is all you can do is continue to be the "buffer" from afar. Maybe she can get some counseling for the emotional and verbal abuse. I think it is great that you want to continue to be there for her.
2007-05-22 14:22:33 · answer #2 · answered by Searching for help 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can always notify the authorities of the verbal abuse and her testimony will help and hopefully bthe Judge will pull the child from the home. Then you ask the Judge for temporary custody and possible adoption of her. With your past history with her and current status, you should have no problem here in doing this. You can notify social services of this and they should be able to help you with this but unfortunately you will probably have to involve her in this but tell her itll work out to her benefit. Worth the try. Good luck
2007-05-22 14:25:22 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch this is hard, this family set-up is just like mine and if my parents divorced I'd be just as upset. How old is your daughter? You may be able to sue for custody if it can be proven that your ex-wife is emotionally abusive and if your daughter states a desire to live with you even though you are technically a step-parent. Or she could talk to other relatives that might have some influence over her mom.
2007-05-22 14:23:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I so was in your situation and got out. Now, as happy as ever. And my daughter at the time hated me for leaving, but now she realized the truth. They will eventally learn. So good luck.
2007-05-22 14:31:24 · answer #5 · answered by qasizan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2007-05-23 05:34:12 · answer #6 · answered by james 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋