I have been with this guy for a couple months now and everything is great. He loves me and I am MADLY in love with him. The thing is, I never expected things to get this serious. It is a very long distance relationship...so I never told him the *full* truth about me. He thinks I come from a normal family, as in boyfriends are "acceptable" My culture is the complete opposite. I have never told him this, and I know it is too late to hurt him now. I just dont know what to do. He basically told me he wants to marry me, his friends tell me Im all he ever talks about....and gosh, he just loves me way too much (as I do love him too much too). I know this relationship will never work out because I cannot hurt my family...I cannot just "run off" with him, because believe me, my parents will die from shame. I know you guys probably have a hard time understanfing this, but I am in a horrible mess. Strict conservative parents with a very liberal daughter. If I love someone, I know I will hurt
2007-05-22 07:13:19 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
them in the long run. I want this guy so badly, but I know I will have to end this relationship sooner than later because we keep falling for each other more and more each day. I am forced to pick between true love and my family, and let me tell you, it is breaking me apart. I have cried and cried for 3 days now...I cry myself to sleep because I do not know what I can do. I just need some help...some guidance. Sadly I cannot turn to my family because I know I wil hurt them. They have no idea that I have a boyfriend....and my b/f has no idea how strict my family is.
Please please please someone just tell me any way I can end this. I hate my life, I really do. Sometimes I think suicide is really the best way out...I just cant take it anymore :(
2007-05-22 07:13:28 · update #1
pray to god.
2007-05-22 07:17:33 · answer #1 · answered by .Fearless. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you don't want to hurt your family, but if you are over 18, you need to do what is in your heart. Just remember that men will come and go. Your family is forever. You also need to be honest with him. How can he love you if he doesn't really know you? You need to give him the chance to know the real you. If it is true love, things may find a way to work themselves out. However, suicide is NEVER the answer. You are worried about hurting your parents by having a relationship, what do you think it would do to them if you killed yourself?? I wish you the best of luck.
2007-05-22 14:21:29 · answer #2 · answered by livin'life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all how old are you second my parents HATE MY HUSBAND there will come a time when you will get married and leave your family because your husband has had a job transfer or something or do your parents believe in arranged marriages and if that is the case you need to let your boyfriend know that there is NO WAY the 2 of you can have a life togethermy hubby and i have been together now for 14 years and 3 kids i believe in happy ever after if you need someone to talk to you can contact me at giggles47532000@yahoo.com well take care and you are in my prayers
2007-05-23 10:03:41 · answer #3 · answered by giggles47532000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be so blunt while you are dealing with such pain, but stop for a moment and ask yourself just what type of relationship do you have right now?
It is a false one with it's foundation built on deceit.
You didn't purposefully try to hurt and deceive him - but you were not completely honest with him.
You have not been honest with your parents either...
In the end, you have been less than truthful with everyone involved, including yourself.
Your parents, as strict as they are, deserve to be aware of you and your life.
Any guy - not just this one - deserves to know what he is getting into - and if he wants to.
And YOU deserve to allow yourself to have have open, honest relationships.
Trust me - sooner or later everything will come out - at which point no amount of explaining will help rebuild a broken trust.
Be honest with yourself, your parents, and the guy - that is the key to any successful relationship.
2007-05-22 14:28:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suicide will only hurt him more because he will think he did something wrong. Tell him the truth. There is a famous quote, "The truth will set you free." Just sit down and think about what your parents would do if you told them you are in love with someone. I dont know what they would do. Do you live in a culture where your parents choose the man you marry? Have them meet him? Good luck.
2007-05-22 14:21:08 · answer #5 · answered by Lizard 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suicide is never the answer. I have a few questions for you, though. First, how old are you? And second, when you say your family is conservative and wouldn't understand having a boyfriend, is it because of religion or ethnic background or what? I'll check in later and see if you posted this info and hopefully be able to give some advice...
2007-05-22 14:20:43 · answer #6 · answered by Cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your situation, and I really don't agree with your family and with your parents ! A true parent that loves his child should never stop him from being happy ! If he goes wrong, then he'll learn something from it, but if he's right, then let him be happy !!!
It actually depends on you; you have the answer ! Look into your heart and see what it tells you...
My advice would be to forget about your family and about their stupid old-fashioned ideas. Your family has achieved its purpose. They raised you, they gave you education, you gave them love and support, and now it's time to go on with your life... don't destroy your heart fro something they don't agree with !!! From now on, you won't live with your family anymore ! It's time for you to find a new person (you already found him, actually) and move on with your life ! That's the rule !
If you really have to, then run away with him !!! Never let anyone destroy your hopes and dreams, because your hopes and dreams are the only ones keeping you alive and breathing !
Be free, love with all your heart, don't listen to the other ones around you !
I wish you luck !!!
2007-05-22 14:23:53 · answer #7 · answered by boy_out_of_hell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your last line says it all - "I know I will hurt."
You're not considering your friend, your family, your community. All you are thinking of is your own ego.
That says to me that you both are MUCH too young to consider marriage to any one - even to one of your own culture.
It's time to be honest about your family - your culture (why are you ashamed of your roots?) and everything else you are scared of. If he understands it's good. If he loves you as much as you claim - he'll understand. He won't like it - but he'll understand. If not, then good riddence.
And it's time to be honest to yourself. You're not in love with this boy. You're in love with the thought this boy. You fantasize over some exotic prince - the exact opposite of your ogre-parents rescuing you and sweeping you off your feet. But in love with him? Nope. Sorry.
And in fact, he's in love with the same thing - the idea of an exotic princess from some far away land....
OK so now it's time to wake up and be honest with each other.
2007-05-22 14:47:11 · answer #8 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you suicide, you'll go to HELL. that's true! just pray to God and talk to your family. that's the best way. i know that they could kill you but this is the only way! talk to them and let your boyfriend stay beside you while you talk to them. explain to then everything. they are your parents. they should understend you! and if they dont approve, follow them but tell the guy to wait for you until your parents think that its already the right time for you to marry someone. goodluck!! God blez!!
2007-05-23 05:36:01 · answer #9 · answered by butterfly25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are probably wrong about your family. You have to tell them. Tell them you are young and may have done something they disapprove of. Ask for their help and forgiveness. I can promise you will be surprised at their response. Just go to one of them first, and ask for help. Be contrite and they will help you. Ask them for their understanding. You have to do something, and at least you will have taken a step to getting some resolution here.
2007-05-22 14:25:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
okey will you marry the boy for your mother or father i will tell you go a head kick the boy and you will never again get someone who love you as
he does.take easyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
2007-05-22 14:22:38 · answer #11 · answered by KUKO1937 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋