I am sooo scared. I'm 38 and divorced after 17 yrs. I've been dating this guy for over a month. Next time I see him, we are going "over" his house. I'm going crazy thinking about this! hellooo, it's not like I'm a virgin, but I don't know where to start.. I'm a wreck.. Please give me some suggestions on feeling more relaxed.. and don't say just let things happen... I know that.
2007-05-22 07:10:41 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can definitely understand how you would be nervous. When my husband and I first had sex I was EXTREMELY nervous....and I was only with my ex for 6 years, I can't imagine 17!!!!
My first time he knew I was nervous, and he just took things slow....but I was so nervous I was shaking, lol.
If this guy cares about you then he'll understand that you are scared, and he will make you comfortable. And if he doesn't......then you should probably wait...
2007-05-22 07:19:42 · answer #1 · answered by jezyka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all you cannot feel pressured or it will not be as pleasant of an experience as it should be. Relaxation does play a big part, I know you do not want to hear that. ;-). If this is what you want I would say find a way to just be yourself. I would actually take it one step at a time as if you were a virgin. If you drink have one. Do not get drunk just have one to help you relax. Then engage in foreplay and explore each other so you can see what he does and does not like and he can do the same. Even if you do not actually do the do get close and get to know each other intimately so that when you do go all they way it will be intense.
2007-05-22 14:17:30 · answer #2 · answered by Searching for help 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personal hygiene, take a half day off or the whole day off relax take a bath, go to a spa and get a facial and manicure and pedicure maybe a wax if you do that. Then once you feel good about yourself be confident and enjoy your time with him. Maybe it will happen maybe it wont????? That is totally up to you.
Enjoy relax have fun! Pamper yourself first!
2007-05-22 14:15:02 · answer #3 · answered by me4tennessee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married 18 years and I find that planning to have sex puts alot of pressure on both of you. We have found that spontaneous is the best. Just talk to him and explain that you are a little nervous. If he is a gentleman he will understand and take things very slow. This could be the best time you have ever had.
Best times to ya
2007-05-22 14:51:09 · answer #4 · answered by 42beenthere 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take a day of relaxing before you go over to his house.
2007-05-22 14:14:30 · answer #5 · answered by msodd33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have some wine and enjoy the night. He must be attracted to you so that is not in question and after the wine see how relaxed you start feeling, Don't get drunk 1 glass....
LOL It will be ok..
~Angel~
2007-05-22 14:18:05 · answer #6 · answered by ~Angel~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should really wait longer before you start sleeping around again.
You were married for 17 years, show some repect for what you had, show some respect for your ex-husband.
You should at least date for a year before engaging in any sort of sexual activity. What on earth is wrong with you!!!!!
2007-05-22 14:16:24 · answer #7 · answered by KI557 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know how you're feeling and ask if you can just take it slow so you can get back into the game. Or just unleash the beast that's inside of you and rip his clothes off! Whatever you prefer.
2007-05-22 14:14:38 · answer #8 · answered by #1 Lucy Fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look at it this way, Life is to short , and being scared to do stuff shortens it even more. Live Life to the fullest! And experence as much As soon you can! And love every min. of it!
2007-05-22 14:15:07 · answer #9 · answered by jessica29154 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just have fun, roll with it and pretend you are 18 again!
Nothing like being back to where you have no worrys.
2007-05-22 14:15:03 · answer #10 · answered by brandeddesire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋