I have cheated on my wife with someone she was close with.I told her about the affair and now she can't get past it ?What am i to do ?
2007-05-22 06:53:01 · 14 answers · asked by jt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wait! It is going to take a lot of time. You've basically wrecked her entire trust in you, shattered her dreams of her life with you. It is going to take a lot of time. This may mean months or even years.
One might wonder why you told her? What was it that you were trying to accomplish? Was this your confessional? Did it make you feel better? Please, realize that you have ruined her life. It will take time to rebuild it.
2007-05-22 06:56:22 · answer #1 · answered by John B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To start, it's good you told her the truth. You're an a^& for doing it. No matter how bad things were, it's inexcusable. Whoever it was that you were close to has to be cut off, completely. What you can do is genuinely apologize for what you did, promise her you won't do it again, go to counseling both individually and as a couple (if she'll go for it) and ride it out. The decision to stay together is her's to make. She doesn't trust you as far as she can throw you right now (and rightfully so) and if she feels that she can't get past this and learn to trust you again, there is no future. It's out of your hands.
2007-05-22 14:08:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put yourself in her shoes. What would you do if the situation was reversed? I give you kudos for admitting to it but it doesn't changed the fact you did it. I have been on both sides of the fence and neither one is the place to be. You need to sit down with her if she's willing and talk out why you did it and if there's a chance you'd do it again. You have to be honest with yourself. If there's a chance you'd do it again, admit it. It can't get worse (from what you described) than it is as she knows about it now. It will take alot of work to regain the trust she had for you. It may or may not work....Good luck.
2007-05-22 14:03:30 · answer #3 · answered by Kelly773 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That thought will always be in the back of her mind...You took her heart and stomped on it, if she is willing to savor this marriage then counseling but you need to understand that she needs time to heal and I mean don't be pushy. Did you realize the grass wasn't greener on the other side? what made you cheat to begin with( a hard on)? will you do it again?If you answer yes to any of these questions then you need to let her go a move forward with someone who deserves her and treats her with respect and doesn't stray away cause he got a hard on. Keep your penis in your pants. If she does leave I hope you learn from this...Prayers are with your wife & you.
~Angel~
2007-05-22 14:14:15 · answer #4 · answered by ~Angel~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave her alone about it. Don't pressure her about getting over it, that is not your place. Let her do it in her own time, and whatever decision she comes up with, accept it. Pamper her and make her feel like the most important person in the world right now.
2007-05-22 13:59:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will never get past it. She will learn to live with it. Counseling Counseling Counseling. It will not work unless you both go to counseling. She deserves to take as much time to heal her wounds but there will always be a scare. Shame on you!
2007-05-22 13:59:11 · answer #6 · answered by aintlifegrand 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on, I could NEVER forgive you.
If you loved her that much you would NOT have cheated on her no matter what. Sorry, but it unforgivable. Once a cheater always a cheater
2007-05-22 13:59:50 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Live with that,could you get over that--sure now you say you would but not going to fly. That is a total disregard for your family in everyway.....
2007-05-22 13:57:26 · answer #8 · answered by keithleyjustin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You made your bed now you have to sleep in it. Nothing you can do, you should have thought of the consequences before you cheated!!!!!!!
2007-05-23 00:34:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go lock yourself in the closet and never come out.
2007-05-22 14:08:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋