I cant take it anymore?

Question

Ive been with my man for 4 years and he has 3 children from a previous marriage whom I love to death and treat them as if they were my own (I love kids) His exwife is a nut case She calls my man everytime there is a problem with her boyfriend and they stay on the phone for hours, when I call him he answers when he feels like it. She falsly claimed earned income credit for her kids and got the return he has the legal filing rights to the children (stated in divorce papers) So when he went to file they said someone already claimed the kids, well he did nothing about it, he is fixing to get custody of his kids and I said is she dropping the child support since he will have the kids and he said not at the moment so she can get on her feet WTF she dont have the kids and your gonna pay her child support. She throw the pitty party and he falls for it, should I get out of this before I have a nervouse breakdown I already suffer from depression ???

He claims he loves me and beggs me not to leave but but it seems the ex gets more of his time then I do, Im not trying to be selfish and I know they have kids but I feel he is up her butt considering all the crapp she putts him through

Not to mention shes also had him arrested for false acusations of domestic violence when he went to pick his kids up one day funny thing I was with him and he never touched her. He still kisses her *** he says well I have kids with her well granted but I sure wouldnt put up with the mental abuse she has put him through.

I have children of my own two boys who is great to an they love him to death, he isint a bad person I think he is weak and the weakness is going to drive me away with my 2 boys

Answer 1

You are not being selfish, however he isn't in a right place in his life for you. Nothing wrong with that and you will be happier with someone else. There is no way of knowing when he will have things worked out if ever, you are smart to not wait. She still has a hold on him and he doesn't seem to mind...that is not right.

Move one and find someone special. There are plenty of good men out there without all the drama looking for a great girl like you.

Answer 2

Well, this is a big problem when you move in with a man that has 3 kids and an ex. He will never be free of the ex because of the kids. They will always have to talk and discuss things. I guess from your information, you are living with him and are not married. You have to ask yourself if you are willing to be a Mom to the kids and not have any kids of your own. This happens often when the man already has his family and doesn't want to add more. You need to talk with him and see what his intentions are for you. Are you there as a friend with benefits. A friend that will take care of the kids, wash, feed them, go to the store and generally take the place of the Mom in the family without the wedding ring? What you have to be careful of is that you don't fill the role for about 10 years and then he decides that he has found someone that is his soulmate and you are out. The best years of your life gone! This is not a good situation. While I think it is admirable that you are helping him out with the kids, you do need to think of yourself, too. Are you really willing to put up with interference from his ex the rest of your life? I don't think so.

Answer 3

You already know that he's linked to this lady as long as the kids are under 21, but it sure sounds as if they still have something going on beside the kids. Maybe he's just a saint with respect for the mother of his children, but I doubt it.

You know in your heart that this isn't right. The problem with breaking up with him is that you lose both him and the kids that you love, which will make the pain much worse. But after 4-years, this unhealthy stuff is still going on between the two of them? Sounds like you need to start planning your exit from this mess since they aren't done with each other yet. You sure don't want to marry him, and then have your joint money going to her, or to pay the legal bills for custody or tax problems. Have faith that your next relationship will be much happier and without all this mess that is making you depressed.

Answer 4

Listen, you sound way too young to have to go through all of this drama. You are with a divorced man, who has children, and an ex he is somehow still emotionally attached to. He may not still be in love with her, but she still manages to have control over his emotions to the point it is drawing a wedge between you and him. You are accepting a whole lot by putting up with this. When you decide you deserve better, you will leave, no matter how he begs you to stay. Just know, she would not be able to manipulate him if he did not allow her to do so. I do hope you do what is best for you.

Answer 5

First off make sure he know how you are feeling. Make sure you talk to him one on one in person. So that later he can not blame anyone.

Since you are willing to accept him with all of his baggage it seems to me that he needs to be able to respect you more and give you some of his time alone.

If you can not get him alone now do you think it would change after you marry him?

Think about it your ex's have each other to cry to and have a pitty party and its their kids.
Keep in mind the story of Give the Mouse a Cookie. If you don't have it get it and give it to your Boyfriend. This is a story were a boy feels sorry for this mouse and give the mouse a cookie then the whole story shows that the mouse keeps coming back for milk, blanket and etc.

If you need more info please email me I came into my marriage with 3 kids that are not mine so I know what you are going thur

Answer 6

I'm nobody to tell you this, but Honey, run and run fast. If you trip, get up faster and run. It doesn't sound as if you have children together, so run. There is someone out there that will treat you like a queen, just like you deserve to be treated. Or if you really want to try, give him an ultimatum, (which never works), tell him, no more child support, you two have the children, and the only thing they need to discuss is the children, in your presence, not her personal problems with her dates. Tell him to take it or leave it. Good luck.

Answer 7

So that's how you want to spend the rest of your life? Dealing with some man's exwife and her kids, rather than meeting your own husband and having your own kids without a nutcase ex?
If you're not married to your man, it's none of your business. GET OUT and make a normal life for yourself. Don't try to scrape up the dregs of someone else's failures.

Answer 8

Ok..this would make me mad! He dont need to be talking to her about her boyfriend about any problems. She needs to go to someone else. Her ex husband is not a person to go to. If I found out my man was talking to his ex wife for many hours on the phone about certain stuff I'd be mad! Im not trying to tell you what to do but I'd get out of the relationship just cuz I dont like the way things are going. Im the type that gets hurt easy. And I cry alot. I worry alot. I dont want u to get hurt. So think it over and good luck.

Answer 9

Okay, you arent married to him. I had to re-read everything. And he is still preoccupied with his ex. So leave him alone and find someone who is single and with less issues. You also sound weak and need to move on. Dont let him treat you this way. He should not be kissing his exwife.

Answer 10

He seems to still be in love with her. He shouldn't be doing all that for her. And you shouldn't stay with him because chances are he's not going to change. Move on and find a real man.