How do I deal with my ex-husband's anger and bitterness?

Question

My ex-husband keeps leaving me nasty voicemails and I don't return his calls. In fact, most of the time I dont' listen to his voicemails.

Today, I just happened to and he said "You think that you can damage people's lives and get away with it. You don't return phone calls and respond to niceness." "You have created so many problems for me and stolen things from my house. Return them to me."

I did NOT take anything from his house. He said it was okay for me to stay there while he moved away due to job reasons.

He is a control freak and abusive.

I am at my wit's end and don't know how or if I should respond.

Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Don't respond. He is trying to bait you into an argument and trying to continue to exert control over you. Initially, he will freak a bit because he is losing that control but hopefully, will eventually give up and leave you alone.

Answer 2

It sounds like it's a good thing he's your ex. You can't do anything about him. But, you can control what you do. Don't blur boundaries anymore by staying at his house, accepting favors, etc. Distance yourself from him. If necessary, tell him that you are not returning phone calls or listening to nasty voice mails, because you choose not to listen to all his crap. That is the beauty of getting a divorce from a jerk. You are not obliged to deal with him anymore. Until he cools off and can act like an adult, then he can keep leaving messages. But, he should know that you will continue to erase them or ignore them. Then, it's really only his problem to deal with.

Answer 3

Distasteful as it was, you decided to end the relationship. Now you must end the new relationship that has grown out of it all.
Contact a social worker at a hospital or county office and ask them to find you a police detective that specailizes in stalking cases.
This may lead to rehabilitation therapy or legal prosecution, but it is warranted in the case of people with uncontrollable natures. Only by actually applying the laws will you get peace.
You are not alone. Do not be alone, be strong.

Answer 4

There is no need to respond to abusive messages. The best thing you can do is ignore him, but it sounds like it may be time for a restraining order. You don't have to put up with this.

Answer 5

Pack up all your cares and woes. Leave his house. As long as you are there he still thinks that you are his property. He probably thinks that you have MEN in HIS house.
Pack your $hit and tip. Don't tell him until you are gone for at least 2 solid weeks with no return address, and an unlisted phone number.
Peace

Answer 6

Do not delete his messages. You'll need them as evidence for the police. Contact the police department and file an order of protection against this man. He sounds potentially dangerous.

Be sure to report each violation of the order. You need to establish a pattern for the police.

Answer 7

Sounds like u need to move out find another place to live change ur number and quit paying attention to childish acts his motives of letting u stay @ his home is another way of controlling the situation. Its ur fault because u continue to allow him to abuse u if not physically but verbally.

Answer 8

Well, I suggest you stop interacting with him and staying at his house. By making him an ex, thats means you really don't have to deal with him anymore. So change the phone number, took back what you took if anything and cut his *** off.

Answer 9

I think you should not respond. If you respond, that might start some thing new and the situation might be worse than ever. So just stay away and if he does something illegal( harassing etc)call police

Answer 10

Get a restraining order! Move out of his house. Change your phone numbers.