I I have been Married for 7 years and we dated for 5 before that. Now he is rude to me all the time. One minute his is nice then the next her is making ugly remarks and just trying to start a fight. Last night he left for the gym in a good mood and when he came home he was mean and grumpy saying" When ar eyou goin gto fold that laundry you just did" and on an on and on! We go MONTHS without having sex and he blames it on various things. We have a 5 y/o daughter and we have a baby on the way I am 29 weeks pregnant. I got pregnant on the rare occassion that we were intimate and he is ugly about it saying he does not want another baby and even told me I should get an abortion. Then the next minute he apologizes and acts like everything is o.k. I really dont believe in divorce nor have we discussed it but I DRED going home. I never know what kind of mood he will be in and I am so tired of the arguing. I dont think he is cheating. I just think he is feed up with being married.
2007-05-22 05:57:10 · 16 answers · asked by Desa 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have tried to talk to him about it and if he is in a good mood then he blows the question off and says " I dont know what your talking about" If he is in a bad mood then he just ignores me...I mean completely ignores the question like a child would. No he does not take steroids, I cant even get him to take a vitamin let alone steroids.
2007-05-22 06:07:01 · update #1
He obviously has some issues and doesnt want to discuss them with you. Suggest counseling and if he wont go with you then go alone. If he is going to just clam up and be moody, then you at least need someone to talk to and maybe they can tell you how to better deal with him. Being that you are 29 weeks pregnant right now, you should DEFINATELY talk to your dr. about this NOW. Your dr. could help or refer you to people that can help. That he told you to get an abortion is a little scary. Be sure and share that info as well with your Dr. You need a support system. blessings.
2007-05-22 06:15:27 · answer #1 · answered by undone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be feeling a little freaked out by all of the responsibility in his life. He is a husband, a father with one more on the way. These things can make a guy feel trapped and edgy. I am not validating his feelings, just offering my opinion. You should sit him down and tell him everything you just said here. Let him know that his negativity is affecting everyone, including the unborn baby. Maybe there are things you two can do to alleviate stress for both of you. You should not dread going home because of his moodiness and your 5 yr. old shouldn't have to deal with it either. Good luck!
2007-05-22 06:06:33 · answer #2 · answered by Momma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys need some professional guidance. Your husband appears to be going through some emotional crap that he is not aware of and is taking it out on you. I think you must tell him that you are tired of his mood swings and that you would like him to seek some therapy or atleast see his Dr. to find out what is going on. No one should live like this it doe's sound to me that he didn't really wnat another kid but realized that the time to abort had long passed and he might as well realize that the baby is on it's way. I think maybe he is going to the gym seeing all these buff young women and then coming to the realization that he is married and they are off limits. I will always look at life this way that it is to short to be unhappy if you feel like this day in and day out maybe you need to look at a trial seperation to see how both of your feelings are being apart for awhile. I'm not saying get divorced it sometimes can help a person to see if they can live with or without the person in there life. When you marry there is a deep question most people ask themselves, it is usually this: Can I live with this person or can I live without this person in my life. Meaning do you see yourself being happy
without this person in your life or do they give you that profound feeling that you need day in and day out and could live without them.
God Bless and Best Wishes!
Remember to talk, communication is key most people cannot read minds so it is necessary for you to tell the person you are with when they are acting rude or disrespectful.
2007-05-22 06:14:21 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it don't seem like he may be tired of being married just has too many things racing in his head at the same time and dont' know how to control them he needs a therpist and his doing so isn't the end of the world instead it could do him a world of good marriage counseling would be another suggestion but my uncle acts the same way toward my aunt and cousins he does have bipolar disease i'm not saying this is your husband just trying to explain why I think he needs help, he can be so sweet to them one minute giving them what they want and need and then boom can turn for no aparent reason and tell them how they are no good in anything they do I wish you good luck and hope it really works out for you and your family
2007-05-22 06:04:46 · answer #4 · answered by sassysandyinmi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Open the door and say "we work on it together or here's an open door if you changed your mind". If he goes- let him go...if he hears this and stays it means he doesn't want out. Life can really get to ya sometimes...everybody feels trapped (on occasion) so... you have to stick it out and it's hard! My hubby and I went through that also. It could be a million things- I did what I told you to do and he said "I love you- do you think I want it this way?!" It took a long time and we are just kinda getting back ...we just started enjoying each other again...kids,house,work,etc. gets to you and you often take it out on someone very close. As far as picking on you ...ask him "I did the wash...when in the heck are YOU going to get those clothes folded.." It isn't up to just you...Playing Mommy and wife and housewife is hard and he needs to know that. Don't just idolly sit and let him cut on you...stand up for yourself and if he doesn't fold or help in some other way...leave his clothes dirty and do the rest of the wash.. I hope everything works out 4 u.
2007-05-22 06:15:36 · answer #5 · answered by Rebecca A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hear the 7th year is always the hardest. I am at the 7th year of our relationship and this has been our worst year also. Does he say he wants to be with you? Would you be willing to go talk to someone. That can give a non bi-est opinion? Maybe he feels a little left out with your daughter and one on the way. i hope everything works out...
2007-05-22 06:08:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's at the 7 year itch. All signs are pointing to there being someone else in the picture. I wouldn't sit around and b verbally abused, it's not healthy for u or ur children. U have some hard thinking to do. Just do what's right for u and ur children.
2007-05-22 06:04:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a marriage counselor. If you have children it is worth the time and effort it takes to see a counselor. It is amazing the things they can get your spouse to discuss. Plus it is someone who can keep the arguing to a minimum so you can really work on the problem.
2007-05-22 06:12:29 · answer #8 · answered by whoknows 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He appears to be suffering from , "PMS", Yes guy's can suffer from this. PMS=Post Marital Stress, it is a form of entrapment, all he sees are 4 walls closing in on him nothing more, nothing less. The bad thing about it is , before one realizes what is happening it becomes too late. The kid(s) hate you, the marriage is over, the dreams are shattered. He needs to let it all out, speak to someone as to why his "world is closing in on him".
2007-05-22 06:14:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek counseling if you think it is worth saving. Mood swings like that couold also be a sign of drug use. He may be trying to push you away because he doesn't want to be married anymore.
2007-05-22 06:13:47 · answer #10 · answered by kidjaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋