My husband and I separated a year ago, our divorce became final in Feb, after a 15 year marraige. I left because I wasn't happy. I had lost respect for him. My husband wasn't very ambitious. It seemed like whatever success we had was because I got us there. I worked overtime to get us extra money for family vacations, to get us into a house. I took care of my son and his kids (the youngest now 20), he did nothing to help. I felt like I was doing the work of two and if I could succeed for both of us, I could surely do it on my own!
Well, he's changed. He has started his own business. He goes to work everyday. He is taking care of his bills, the house he rents, the pets he has of ours. He doesn't just sit on the couch!
And I miss my old life. I miss my pets. I miss the routine. I haven't spent a lot of time with him, but we talk quite a bit and get along better than we ever have.
Do you think it could work?
2007-05-22 05:52:40 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I love him, but I don't know that I am in love with him. I lost all respect for him years ago, and couldn't be in love with a man that I didn't respect. I wonder if that is something you can get back. I don't know.
And no, thinking of going back has nothing to do with his money or success. I don't need his money, he isn't doing THAT well!
He says he has made these changes in his life because he didn't like who he was. And he had never realized how much I really did, and how very little he did. Me not being there forced him to make changes.
2007-05-22 06:09:53 · update #1
There is no harm in trying if that is what you both want..but hey...date awhile...its fun and you two will be able to fall in love again
2007-05-22 05:56:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it might - BUT
What will happen when (not if) the economy starts to crumble and his shiny new business fails and you're back to supporting him and his kids (with their own kids in tow) again?
Are you going to turn tail and leave - again? The word for that is gold-digger, I believe.
Before I would ever consider going back, I would get into some extensive and lengthy couples counselling to prevent the mistakes - both his and yours - from repeating themselves.
Again, it might work out - but not without outside help.
2007-05-22 13:22:28 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. Ur attracted to what he is now. U left him b/c he wasn't a contributor to the marriage. Now that he's become successful, u want him back. If u believed in him or had been patient, u would probably b sharing in the "new" him. U don't miss ur old life b/c u left it and him u just like what he's done and the $ that's there now. Let him b.
2007-05-22 13:01:16 · answer #3 · answered by Misty D 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When he was with you he got into a comfort zone because you took care of everything, now that he is on his own he had to get up for himself. Try going out with him again, like dating, like if you had just met, and see if he can work too to get your sparks back up. Date like two teenage kids, and see what happens, if it works out, then lets try again living together, but don´t make the same mistake and leave responsabilitites on his hand and have himn help more too.
2007-05-22 13:18:19 · answer #4 · answered by copita 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow that is wonderful that he has shown his change and has proven he has changed.
a lot of people get back with their partner after a seperation only after promises to change only to be disappointed after some time.
I definitely think it could still work. but just don't jump into it 100% all at once. Start dating once again and take things slowly.
I hope all the best for you!!
2007-05-22 13:17:15 · answer #5 · answered by Twizzle 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It will work if you make it work. You both have to try, and you both have to agree to things. Tell him that you miss him and want to see if things will work. That you still love him, but you just wanted a man that was motivated.
2007-05-22 12:57:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2007-05-23 06:26:17 · answer #7 · answered by james 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could divide up responsibilities though and maybe then things could work out.
2007-05-22 13:01:32 · answer #8 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I sure don't.. old habbits die hard. He'll go back to his old ways at some point here, I'm betting on it.
2007-05-22 13:01:18 · answer #9 · answered by Aunt Henny Penny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound extremely selfish and were obviously not committed to your relationship before. What makes you think you will be this time? Sounds like you'll always find something to ***** about.
2007-05-22 13:17:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋