I'd been with my boyfriend for 2 years and although I loved him alot I was falling out of love with him and couldnt see us having a future together. I finished with him about a month ago, although we'd be arguing long before then. I've let him live rent-free in my house and I've moved in with my mum until he finds somewhere else, mostly because I felt so guilty for ending it. I had hoped that he would change and we could perhaps try again in a few months. But he keeps putting off moving out as he's spending all his money on alcohol and not getting the rent together to move out. He also keeps texting me telling me he's got a great new girlfriend who's great in bed and sent me a photo of them together, but yet he still begs me to get back together with him. Obviously now I know there is no chance of me ever taking him back, but I still feel devastated because I thought we would be together forever, and very hurt by how cruel he's being. Any suggestions to help me move on??
2007-05-22 05:47:53 · 22 answers · asked by Holly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just remember you grow up and people change.what you felt two years ago is different now ,your mind and body and outlook has changed,,,happens to you as you get older ,,part of growing up i think.your boyfriend can not understand why you have moved on ,and he is hurt that you can lead your life without him,the pics back are just to show he is not bothered and he has moved on,deep down he is probably very upset.but in the long run,if you did not feel comfortably in the relationship it is best for both of you.does not mean you do not think alot of him.i still think alot of my ex-wife and hope she is happy with her new man...but we both had to move on...breaking up is never easy ,you only realise five years down the road.it was for the best ,,,,good luck and hope you feel better soon .time is a healing factor....
2007-05-22 07:47:07 · answer #1 · answered by bill. s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to get back your ex is https://tr.im/uE3vQ
Here's the hard part: Pretend she never existed, like it was all a dream, don't call her, that will make you the smaller person, be the bigger person since you deserve better, what she did to you on Valentines Day was immature, especially after dating for four years. This person wasted allot of your time and through it out the window. Go out tonight, even it it is only yourself, don't drink and call or feel sorry for yourself, this will only cause you embarrassment! I know your hurting..This will eventually will go away in time. Today is not a good day for you and your emotions are spinning all over the place.
Please, whatever you do, don't answer her calls and don't call her. If she keeps calling, which she pro bally won't, don't return her call for 5 days. Make her sweat and DO Not get back together right away if you discuss this in 5 days. Tell her since she Broke up with you, you have done allot of thinking, and had the taste of "being single again" and you would like more time being "friends" for now, so you are sure you are making the right decision. Remember "She decided she didn't want to be with you" so the door is open for you to get out and see what you have been missing for four years. You honestly need to do this for yourself.
She doesn't know, but what she did was give you the best valentines day present you will ever get! A new start and a new beginning, use it to your advantage. You will look back on this and Thank God this happened now instead of 4 more wasted years of YOUR life. Today does suck, stay Strong and I promise you your life is going to be so much more exciting and you are going to be happy. If you continue to call and call her, she will think of you as needy and won't want you. She is going to rethink what she did to you today and will be hurt, if you act like you could care less. Girls always want the ones they can't have. That is who you are now to her. Let her suffer,realizing what a mistake she made. This will drive her crazy. Right now she is on cloud 9 thinking you will take her back, OH, is she stupid!
Your life isn't ruined, hers is..She lost someone special, and gave you a gift to let to live life and find someone you deserve. You are not getting back at her, your teaching her what an idiot she is and what she lost and what you gained without her. SO when You eventually talk to her, tell her thank you for what she did...
She will be hurt and you will be happy!
2016-07-19 12:58:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your ex boyfriend is very hurt by you finishing the relationship
he is trying to make you jealous by the photos he is sending and telling you about his new girlfriend when he says nasty things to you its his way of coping with the situation losing a partner is a lot like bereavement there are all stages resentment anger sadness jealousy you say that you had hoped that he would change and you would try again in a few months sorry but it takes two to make a argument maybe you should have try ed to change also then you say you thought you would be together forever but you didn't stay and sort the problems out after 2 years together i don't think you are ready for a serious relationship as both of you have to work to make it work and take the bad with the good
2007-05-22 07:17:29 · answer #3 · answered by christine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GOod grief, how immature he is! Doe the house belong to you? If so, give him an eviction notice. He's immature and selfish. He's not planning on moving out anytime soon, especially if he's spending his money on alcohol etc.... ONce you send him an eviction notice, he'll know you're serious. If he's not signed any leases or anything, call the sheriff and have them stay there to make him move out and escort him out the door. Then go and have the locks changed. He sounds easy to be a few steps ahead of the game on. He's too much of a loser for you to deal with.
2007-05-22 06:23:22 · answer #4 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him an eviction notice. Put it in writing and document the day that you gave it to him. then he knows what day he has to move out and has no legal recourse. As for his text messages and such, block his phone number and if that doesn't work change yours. He is trying to play games and he obviously isn't very good at it. take the high road and move on. If you try to fight back or play his games you will only continue to feel hurt. The best revenge is living well.
2007-05-22 06:15:58 · answer #5 · answered by kidzrdrivinmekrazy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a terribly hurt man, one who has a lot of issues. Thank goodness you're no longer with him, honey!
I admire the courage you've had to walk away...! So many people stay in sad or even dangerous situations because they are too scared to do the right thing....
It looks like he was comfortable with you in his life because you took care of him, but now that you are not there anymore he is showing his true, ugly side.
The fact he drinks, is irresponsible with his money, is bedding other women and texting you in order to hurt you and blackmail you emotionally spells TROUBLE....He is a time bomb and you'd better put distance immediately.
Change your cell phone, don't answer any messages he sends, and ask a lawyer for advice on the rent issue.
You have been very kind in letting him stay in your house.
He has to move out NOW. Ask the lawyer what your rights are and how to handle his eviction efficiently.
The last thing you need is to have to pay for his stupidity!
............................................................
DO NOT feel guilty for making the right decision, sweetie. You sound like a very nice girl, one who deserves a good and honest man.
Please do not let him continue to hurt you and continue to make you doubt yourself. HE is sick; you're not. You would be sick if you continued with him in this unhealthy relationship.
Keep your chin up and focus on yourself now.
This man is a loser and you are better off without him...
Trust me.....A good man is out there, looking for you.
Give him a chance and say good-bye to this sick ex of yours. GOOD LUCK!
2007-05-22 06:03:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes - write up an eviction notice giving him 30 days to move and have your local law enforcement (sheriff's department) serve him with it so he will get out of YOUR house. Have absolutely no contact with him, no phone calls, texts, e-mails, via friends, nothing.
The sooner you get him TOTALLY out of your life, the faster you will heal. There really isn't any easy way but that is the quickest way to move on.
What's left to talk about, anyway? He's handling this immaturely and didn't do what he needed to do to make things right - he made things worse. That is not good husband material - someone better will come along later. Please have faith and give yourself the best.
2007-05-22 05:55:57 · answer #7 · answered by Stefka 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Good Lord, Holly, the guy is a scoundrel. You don't have to put up with this! He is tormenting you and what he is doing is very mean. If I were you, I would tell him to be out of that house in 24 hours. If he is not out, call the police and have them escort him off the premises. Then go to your local court and get a restraining letter against him. Come on, Holly, are you just going to put up with this? Take action! Get him the heck out of there and out of your life right now!
2007-05-22 06:00:30 · answer #8 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/MFiNQ
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
2016-04-28 07:45:12 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl..don't feel guilty because you finished it...get him out of your home and move back in....seems that your letting him live rent free because you owe him....you don't owe him anything...while he's living there he KNOWS that you still have a soft spot for him so he will use that to his advantage and stay there till he gets physically thrown out....he's spening all his money on booze in YOUR house that you kindly let him have for free....he's playing with your feelings by bragging about his pretend girlfriend, WHAT A CHEEK....wake up girl and get this freeloader out of your house....why should you have to move out because of him? he's loving every minute of this and your allowing him to push you to the extreme...i think you should get round there while he's out, throw his stuff in the front and change the locks...it's your home, not his....get rid of him for good and proper...he's using you, and playing emotional games, screwing your head up while he's doing this....he's living in your house for nowt.....i want to go round there myself and kick the bum out, he's taking the piss BIG time....get him out....DON'T feel sorry for him because he's not feeling anything for you....he's sounds like a right ar*ehole
2007-05-22 06:10:50 · answer #10 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋