I spent an entire weekend with my cousin. She has been married 24 years. During the entire marriage her husband has painted this nasty adultress picture of her. Well she learns yesterday that he has been dating secretaries from his job. He has moved her to a different state and we are from Florida. He finally admitted to her that he was quility. I told her to move back to Florida and get away. He really had me fooled. All weekend I'm thinking this poor quy. Come to find out he has had long relationships with 3 different secretaries. Now he is talking about the one at his new job. I told her their relationship needs to be over. She can't trust him to go to work without starting a relationship there. I work, but don't feel the need to sleep with someone there. Is it just me or does anyone else see a pattern.
2007-05-22 05:21:59 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
HE has a problem. They should either get counciling or your cousin needs to get out of the marriage. If he admitted it (because he is caught) then there may be a chance that the marriage can be saved. Trust is another issue. Her trust of her husband is gone and if she was sleeping around, then his trust of her is gone also. It is hard to mend broken trust.
2007-05-22 05:28:27 · answer #1 · answered by MrMyers 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is a pattern alright. I can also say that most people who are constantly accusing someone of being a cheater is 9 times out of 10 the one who is doing the cheating!!!He has moved her away from her family trying to cut off the family support system...She needs to get out...and I'm mean now. The only problem is she is going to doubt herself and have things going through her head that they have been together for so many years...blah blah blah...Tell her she can find better, she doesn't need a man like that!!!
2007-05-22 12:52:55 · answer #2 · answered by jmillerbrook 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It appears there is a pattern. It's interesting to note that her husband has painted the "adultress" picture of her. It's been my experience that when one is accusing the other of infidelity with no evidence, it's frequently because the accuser is cheating. The cheater knows they're cheating and assumes the partner is doing the same.It's called projection.
2007-05-22 12:29:24 · answer #3 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like this guy has found h has a way with the women he works around and can manipulate them into what he desires. She needs to file for divorce and sue him for everything legally she is entitled to. This guy wont stop and risks bringing home an STD and she doesnt need that so she just needs to get out now. Good luck
2007-05-22 12:28:41 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Convince her to go back to Florida with you and get a divorce. He seems to be living out some secretarial fantasy over and over again.
2007-05-22 12:28:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes it is necessary for a man to have sex with the woman at his job. He probably works very hard and has a lot of stress. By taking these frustrations out on the girls at work he is trying make things nicer at home. Allow him to continue this and everything should be fine.
2007-05-22 12:27:20 · answer #6 · answered by scott m 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Isolation is a form of abuse if it's not your choice and by moving her to another state, it may be the first step in isolating her from you. There's definitely a pattern there and you need to do what ever you can to get her away from this dick, if you love her.
2007-05-22 12:38:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The biggest challenge is to figure why they stayed together for 24 years. Unless he is a real stud she should have seen the signs many years ago.
She does have grounds for a divorce but then can she make it financially without him?
2007-05-22 12:29:27 · answer #8 · answered by Natural Medicine Man 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Of course your cousin is being played and disrespected. Hopefully you've given her your thoughts on the subject, but it's really up to her to decide what to do. Be there for her, but don't try to tell her what to do. She needs to be strong enough to leave her husband, if that's what she wants to do. It's a bad situation and you are perfectly right to be on her side.
2007-05-22 12:26:15 · answer #9 · answered by crabbyone 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your friend is in a manipulating relationship. He's using her emotions and hurt against her. I suppose he's making her feel guilty for thinking about leaving too. She just don't see it yet. Don't worry she'll get there and she'll leave him but it might take a while.
2007-05-22 13:07:32 · answer #10 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋