I have an aquaintance who is really stingy with his money, I'm talking really cheap. A year ago he was engaged , but the girl broke it off after she finally realized how cheap and inconsiderate he was. So he's engaged again, and I found out from his sister that he took the stone out of his ex-fiance's ring and put it in a different setting. He told his sister that if the new girl asked about the old ring to lie and say he gave it to her and she sold it. His sister and he aren't very close, but she doesn't want to cause problems with him for her parent's sake. He has already lied and said the diamond is a full carat and it's not. I feel horrible that this sweet girl is going to start out her new life with a lie. This guy is going to ruin her life. I don't feel that it's my place to tell her, but I can't get this out of my head. I'd want to know if it were me. What would you do? Would you care if another girl had already worn this stone?
2007-05-22 05:17:48 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Forgot to add that he's a WELL paid engineer - money is not the issue here.
2007-05-22 05:29:12 · update #1
I guess you kind of have to know this guy - He's 30 , an engineer, and still mooches off his mother. He originally wanted his Mom to just give him one of her diamond rings so he could give it to his first finace' - not for sentimental reasons but because he didn't want to spend the money. He already knows the new fiance' wouldn't approve of this thing with the ring - that's why he's trying to hide it. He also told her they wouldn't get married until she had a steady job and could pay her own bills. I'm telling you, he's a real "catch"
2007-05-22 10:00:43 · update #2
Its just a ring. The big problem here is that he is a liar. She will know that soon enough though because he surely lies about lots of other things. But it is just a ring, and getting in her ear about that will make you look petty and intrusive and he will just lie some more and say you lied etc. Just stay out of it, maybe hold your fire for some bigger battle. He sounds like a jerk. geez.
2007-05-22 05:25:57 · answer #1 · answered by undone 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Who cares!! Diamonds are expensive, why should he let one he already has go to waste? He had enough sense to put the diamond in a different setting, what is the big deal? It does sound like this guy is kind of a jerk, but not because of the diamond. She will have to find out on her own if he is not the guy for her. As these people are not family to you or anything, you really should just keep out of it.
2007-05-22 05:43:28 · answer #2 · answered by eagfan5 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no you should not tell about the stone. it's none of your business or his sister's business and further more you have to give him credit for at least resetting the stone. i would say that if she excepted the ring in the first place, she is in love with him and it wouldn't hurt her relationship with the guy, but only hurt the relationship between her and his sister or you (if you are a part of their lives). as for his lies, there are other ways to bring attention to them without targeting a specific issue, such as the reset engagement ring. i would care if i was wearing another woman's ring, but not so much if the stone was in a setting made for me, after all he did purchase the cheap stone.
2007-05-22 09:29:35 · answer #3 · answered by tella stella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Problem is not the stone -- or the ring. It's fine and is not devalued because previously owned by someone else and reset.
It seems there is too much fixation on material value of things here -- by all involved. More focus should be on how friends and family are loved, valued, and supported.
2007-05-22 05:25:44 · answer #4 · answered by Lynda 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not going to be able to save your friend from making this mistake, if it is a mistake. She will have to make that decision on her own based on her knowledge of this guy. Frankly, if she has been dating him any length of time, she probably has figured out that he is miserly with his money.
Would I mind if the ring were not "brand new"? No. I bought my current set from the Pawn Shop with my husband - why pay full price when you can get it 90% cheaper - and it's still the real thing?
2007-05-22 05:22:53 · answer #5 · answered by Stefka 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't see what the deal is-as long as its not the same ring I think its ok. But lying about the size isn't-can't the girl figure that out for herself? Is there not alot of thought going on here-what really bugs you is that he's a jerk and you'd like to warn her-I get it-but, if she's happy and so is he-then let it ride---
2007-05-22 05:22:21 · answer #6 · answered by ARTmom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no i would not care because the ring is new just not the stone diamonds are very expensive and someplaces will upgrade the ring to a different one or do as he did, i think it was a smart move this way if they do get married they arent starting their new life together in debt
2007-05-22 05:21:31 · answer #7 · answered by Gracies Mom 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Thats Funny I told My boyfriend I wouldnt Care if he got me a ring out of a cereal box I would Still marry Him Get over it its just a ring
2007-05-22 05:46:08 · answer #8 · answered by HunnyBunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. No matter how big of a stone he gives me, it doesn't compare to the way he makes me feel inside. I live and breath him. His ex choose to leave, that's her lost. Now I have him.
I'm sure that the current girl knows his money issues and if she's cool with it, then no one can really say anything to her about it that would change her mind. Right? It is her choice whom she marries.
2007-05-22 05:30:44 · answer #9 · answered by Bunny 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The ring itself is a symbol of his love for her. So what if that diamond came from a different ring, the setting is new for this girl. You should stay out of it. Go confess to your priest or to a bartender, do not shatter this girl's dream. Maybe he really loves her and she him so what does it matter about the ring?
2007-05-22 05:24:07 · answer #10 · answered by Mike E 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋