What percentage of female servers are genuinely nice, versus faking it just to get big tips?

Question

When a waitress is being friendly, flirty, or chatty, with a solitary male customer, how often would you say she is being genuinely friendly or flirty, vs being fake-friendly or flirty just to sweeten him up for a big tip?

I used to go Hooters a lot when one first opened in my town. It didn't take me very long to realize that they were just being sweet on guys to get big tips. It was terribly "convenient" and "coincidental" how about a half dozen of them just "happened" to have SO much of the exact same things "in common" with me. Yeah, right... fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

I have had waitresses be nice to me in other restaurants, as well, but it's kind of difficult to discern who is being genuine and who is not, at other establishments.

I went to the same bar for over 8 years. I used to talk to the female bartender often. I quit going about two years ago. I popped in there the other day, and that same bartender chick did not remember who I was! That hurt

It may not matter to you, mary, but it does matter to me.

Answer 1

It really doesn't matter. It's her job to give good service and the better she does her job the more earning power she has. Just the same if the chef comes out and greets you and makes sure your food is perfect doesn't mean he or she is looking for anything else than to do his or her job the best for you, but to make you happy so you come back for more.

mary

Answer 2

If you're looking for love or companionship from a Hooters girl or bartender, then you have way bigger problems than a waitress fooling you. You have the self esteem of a rock. Go out and make real friends. Then a random bartender not remembering you after 2 years won't matter.

And no, to normal people, it really doesn't matter. As long as I'm having a good time with her, then all's good. Mary's answer is spot-on (and she's gorgeous too - now don't go falling in love with her...)

Answer 3

I waited tables for years. I am a very friendly person and met lots of people that I still hang out with today. Sometimes when the customer was an *** I had to force myself to bite my tounge and be nice. But I never faked anything for a tip, money just isn't worth it. I'd say 1 in 3 take the fake flirting a bit far, but I have also seen them go home with customers too. You never know. But then again I worked mostly at bars and never at a Hooters.

Answer 4

As a waitress, i can tell you that any time i talked to a table, any table, i was always genuine. i might have been faking my good mood, but i never made up stories, or pretended to be interested in a guy just to get a tip. I loved serving because i got to meet so many interesting people.

actually, there was a group of 3 guys that used to come in to the restaurant where i worked and when i quit, one of them tracked me down and now we've been on a few dates and he is a great guy and i enjoy spending time with him. if i had been "faking" being nice, i would have been very upset when i found out one of my ex-coworkers gave him my number but instead i was very happy to hear from him because every time they came in it made my night better.

some servers do pretend to be interested in a guy, but then again, look at the restaurant you were going to.. HOOTERS. those girls know guys come in there to be flirted with. because lord knows the food isn't THAT great. and it's been 2 years, i don't remember all the regulars that came into the restaurant i worked in and i just quit in February. memories for wait staff usually suck because we have to remember every thing in the world when we're working (and many *cough* smoke more than cigarettes)

Answer 5

Give me excellent service. That means not leaving me sit at the table with nothing in front of me for 10 minutes or more. It means knowing how to describe the dishes on the menu so I can tell which one I might like. It means taking my food and drink orders in good time, bringing me what I ordered while it's still hot, and checking that things are okay shortly after the food arrives. It means not jumping the gun to remove plates before I'm obviously finished. I hate having to guard my plate from over-enthusiastic waiters who want to grab it while I'm still nibbling. Makes me feel like they can't wait for me to pay up and leave. Might be true, because filling a table 3 times in a night brings in more money, but I don't want to be made to feel rushed. Mostly, people like to know that their waitperson is paying attention. Watch a few episodes of Kitchen Nightmares, that show where Gordon Ramsay turns around restaurants in trouble. The biggest complaints from their patrons come when they sit there for over an hour with no food arriving. The other is lousy food, which you don't really have any control over. If you can afford it, go out one night to one of the best restaurants that you can find around where you live, Might be the kind of place you think is for people your parents' age, but go anyway. It's hard to know what really good service is until you have received some.

Answer 6

I know by talking to friends, and seeing them in action, that they are definitly chatty, flirty, etc. just to get tips. That stinks too, because it makes it hard on those who just want to be friendly ( because it is part of their job) to get as good a tip. I have never worked as a waitress, but I have worked with the public. It is much nicer to really get to know people and be genuine with them. It makes a difference in the long run.
Sorry about your experience(s).
Next time one of the Hooters waitresses really starts acting like she's interested/ has stuff in common with you. Ask her something to see if she is really interested or knows about something she says she is. You'll find out if she's being fake.

Answer 7

I would say the vast majority of the female bartenders or waitresses are going to flirt with you if they think that is what you want. In that industry everybody is working for a tip. If you dont expect any more than good service and maybe a little conversation than you wont get your feelings hurt.

Answer 8

It's your own fault for hanging out in Hooters. That said, I've had many, many friends over the years who are waitresses, virtually all of whom I met as a customer while they were waitressing. But you, too, have to come across as a friend! Being rude, making suggestive comments, boorish, etc. doesn't cut it . . . in other words, to have a friend, you have to BE a friend.
Waitresses, after all, are just people who happen to be at work when you meet them!

Answer 9

Well, who knows what kind of day they might be having. Their job demands that they be polite and friendly to the customers. So, maybe if they're having a bad day, yes, they have to fake it. If they're having a good day, I doubt they are faking their friendliness. We all "fake it" every once in a while: going to the in-laws house when you'd rather be doing something else; going to your husband's/wife's Christmas party for work when you don't know anybody, but ya smile anyway.

It's not a personal issue.

Answer 10

Look at this way - they are at work. They don't go to work to find dudes to date. They are there to snatch up as much cash during their shift, and then get the hell home.

They will do whatever it takes to make you hand them an extra buck or two.

So, just give em a break. You get to stare at their chest, feels good to have some 19 year old "want to be your friend" for 20 minutes, but the reality is, she is just there to get a paycheck.

The odds of you becoming her after-work buddy are slim to none.