I want a baby but my boyfriend dosent, how do I handle this emotinally?

Question

I dont know how to deal with the waiting and the fact that my biological clock is ticking!

Answer 1

Does he NEVER want a baby? If so i would say you're gonna have to get him to change that or you change wanting a baby or you're gonna have to leave him and find someone with the same interests and wants in life as you have.

If he just wants to wait awhile before having a child, i would say you two need to negotiate. If you want one now and he wants to wait a year (for example) then ask him if maybe in six months would be a considerable time. Try to go half on his feelings and he needs to do the same.

Just communicate with him and stress how important this is to you and see where he stands also and be considerate towards his feelings and try to compermise. If you can't then maybe not being with him would be best.

Answer 2

it's really not that big of a deal. if you don't have a baby i'm sure others will. i'm a mid-30's woman and have not had a baby yet, and it doesn't bother me very much at all. ask yourself WHY you want a baby so bad and make a list of the reason(s), then see if it's logical. it is likely your hormones or some other underlying reason (depression, etc.) that may be making you feel you "need" to have a baby. of course you can always get a new boyfriend if the need is that great, then maybe the boyfriend you have now will come back to you and be its dad, but i don't know about that.

Answer 3

I was in that situation, we decided to try and then he changed his mind. Then I did. lol. Since we're married and both out of college, have our own house, etc... We kind of felt like what's left? Then after talking about it for awhile we realized we were doing it for the wrong reasons. It only works when both of you are commited to it 100% and will be able to deal with the good and bad times that come with pregnancy and raising a child. There must be a reason that your boyfriend says he doesn't want a child. Talk to him about what it is and really listen, don't be defensive. He may have good points. Even getting ready to try and conceive is a big step. Everything in your life gets flipped upside down, and it happens so fast you start to wonder where your old life went. Just listen to him and maybe you guys can work on goals and compromise.

Answer 4

I know that this isn't the world it used to be, but wouldn't you like to plan a wedding before you plan a baby? I don't have any problem with children being born out of wedlock.... I had my daughter before my husband and I were married, but she was definatly not planned. I don't know if I could plan a baby with a man I wasn't married to. A baby is just as much of a commitment to someone as marriage is, so think of it that way! If you have a baby with someone you are tied to them for the rest of your life! Wouldn't you rather it be to someone you were committed already?

On the other hand, to have any kind of decent relationship, you need to respect his feelings. It is his life too, so the fact he doesn't want a child, must be respected.

If these differences can't be resolved, maybe it's time to part ways and you can find a man who also wants a family.

Good luck!

Answer 5

A baby is special and precious but maybe he is waiting until the time is right for example when the finances are stable, a place to stay is stable, the relationship is stable and all the important things in life before bringing a child into the world. So consider his feelings and don't take it out of proportion for it may lead to stress.

Answer 6

Decide what is more important. Is it the baby? Or the boyfriend? If it's the baby, then you know what you need to do.

Is the boyfriend maybe wanting to wait until you are married or better established in your careers? If so, you may want to wait with him.

Remember, a baby is for life. It's a HUGE committment and unless you are 40, it's best to wait until you are both ready.

Answer 7

I'm in a very similar situation only it's the other way around my partner and I have been together for a long time and he's a few years older than me he's really wanting to start a family and it's been alot of pressure for me because we've had a rocky year and it kind of scares me alittle I don't think he realizes what he's commiting to try talking to him and finding out what the real reason is... Is he still young maybe afraid of commitment?

Answer 8

Either wait or move on, depends on what is the most important to you, the baby or your boyfriend!!

Ask if he ever wants children and decide upon his answer if you can accept what he wants!! Maybe he wants to be married first, before he starts a family??

Anyway you want to look at it, don't get pregnant unless you want to take the chance of raising the child on your own, if your boyfriend doesn't want a child, you can't force him!!

Children deserve a loving home!!

Answer 9

If your boyfriend doesn't ever want kids and you do, then good thing he's just a boyfriend. That will make it much easier when you leave him for someone who shares in your desire to have children. Don't let him rob you of your dream, if he really loves you, he will want you to be with someone who can fulfill you completely. Oh, and if he doesn't ever want kids, then you shouldn't pressure him into it either, there are enough people in this world having children unplanned and unwanted. Both of you deserve to be happy, maybe it's just not with each other anymore.

Answer 10

I wanted a baby with my BF. And he didn't want a baby at all at least not for now. We made love a couple times unprotected and I guess it felt too good and he just let himself come in me. It turned out I got pregnant, I told him the news and he was happy about it. At the same time he wish we would have waited and he was scared and nervous. He got over it. We did what we had to do so now we gotta be responsible for it. I know how it is to want a baby and your bf don't want one. Try saying stuff to convince him..it works for me. goodluck