By this i mean seeing how far he can push the envelope before i snap. I know going into the teenage years is tough what with raging hormones and all but i was wondering.
How far(Within reason of course) should i let my son assert himself before putting my foot down?
I dont want to hamper or hinder his emotional growth but on the other hand he is NOT going to walk on me either. What do you think?
2007-05-22 02:31:34 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Pick your battles carefully. Fighting over superficial things like clothing, music, etc. may just drive you both farther apart. Putting your foot down over issues like safety, drug use etc. is vital. With mine it worked best if I told them why I felt the way I did on certain issues. I always made it clear that I had their best interests at heart and was not arbitrarily being a gustapo about it. My sons are now 21 and 23 and doing well, and are mature and responsible.
2007-05-22 02:41:48 · answer #1 · answered by Maria b 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you should let your son assert himself up until the point he is breaking your rules, he is doing something that is harmful or dangerous to himself or others. Keep the lines of communication open with him. Let him know that he can tell you anything. Even if it is something really bad. Set the ground rules with him. Sit down and have a talk telling him that he will be 13 soon and he will want to try new things. Tell him what you expect from him and that you encourage him to try new things. Let him know that if he ever questions anything he is about to do to call you first before doing it. By no means should you let him walk all over you. Children need guidelines/rules and discipline. Without setting them we are asking for trouble. Good luck to you and your son. D & G Gifts Etc
2007-05-22 09:42:21 · answer #2 · answered by D and G Gifts Etc 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The teenage years are mainly the period where our children SHOULD normally try to break away from the family more and begin to identify more with peers. They are trying to find themselves, and often (as heartbreaking as this period can be) this means becoming directly oppositional to YOU.
Whatever rules you have, make them clear, the consequences for breaking rules should be consistent and expected. As long as you remain a calm and consistent parent figure, the chances are better than when the time comes, your teen will choose to come to YOU with their major issues because you can be relied upon to be stable and consistent.
2007-05-22 09:57:19 · answer #3 · answered by peacepipea 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never raised children into adulthood before, but my parents kept us busy by sending us to after school classes and made us work on weekend, so we can spent some of our raging hormons,lol.
The craziest thing my dad did was buying my sister a puppy to take care of, since it kind of delayed her desires to have a bf until college. While my mom kept buying us church clothes, so we felt quite geeky in high school
2007-05-22 12:51:41 · answer #4 · answered by 結縁 Heemei 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, Wendy stole my thunder! She is totally right on - you just have to ensure you have instilled and reinforce the guidelines and character traits which are solid and appropriate.
Make sure you know who he's hanging with, and the family. Don't let him start shrugging off wanting to do things with the family, whether it's going to church, family outings, etc. Those are too important for him to ditch.
You'll do great, since you are knowing there are things you have to watch out for....
2007-05-22 11:25:24 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shockingly enough, not all teenagers have the 'terrible teens'. Try to keep in mind, everybody has a bad day sometimes. If you encounter a string of bad days, remove his bedroom door for a week.
2007-05-22 13:22:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to pick your fights. how he dresses or wears his hair aren't as important as how late he stays out at night and who his friends are. you might want to talk to him about various things that you will not tolerate, like drinking or drugs or tattoos or whatever. set the ground rules now, before he starts to test. if you've done a good job with setting restrictions and rules, he should accept what you say.
2007-05-22 09:39:55 · answer #7 · answered by wendy_da_goodlil_witch 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Pick and choose your battles. Set ground rules and be consistent. You are in for the ride of your life. Hang tight, you will survive. We all have.
2007-05-22 10:37:54 · answer #8 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋