i love the mom i have now....but kinda want to know and see where i came from......start a quest ro say f.u.c.k. it?
2007-05-22 02:31:29 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
It's a personal decision but I would wonder why my mom never came to look for me. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, you might find something you didn't want to find.
2007-05-22 02:35:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's something you should decide. If i found out that i was adopted, I wouldn't want to know who my biological parents are.
It doesn't matter where you came from. What made you the person you are today, was the love, education and support that your adoptive mom gave you.
I'm sure she loves you more than life and she would do anything to see you happy. And even though she didn't carry you for nine months in her uterus, she carried you for much longer in her heart. From the time when she decided she wanted to adopt until she finally had you in her arms.
If that isn't enough for you, start your quest and go after the persons that gave you up as a baby. You probably want to make the cliché question: " Why didn't you keep me?"
Most of the times the mother doesn't want the baby or she can't financially support it.
But, if you think it'll bring you comfort.... It's your choice.
2007-05-22 10:43:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same predicament you are in a few years ago. I don't think that you intend any disrespect by your thoughts of searching for your birthparents. I think everyone who is adopted has a curiosity about where they came from, and wonders if they look like the people who gave them life. It doesn't mean that you want to replace your mom. I'm sure you know that what makes someone a mom is being there and raising you to be the person you are today, not just childbirth. I think if you want to know, go for it. I always knew that before my life was over I wanted to get a chance to tell my birthmom thank you, and I knew I'd regret it if I didn't. I have had a great relationship with her for about 4 years now. She's not my mom, but she is an important part of who I am and how I got to be me. Have a heart to heart with your mom, I'm sure she will understand your curiosity more than you think. Best of luck to you.
2007-05-22 09:49:20 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say look. Not every birth parent wants to be found and some are really hard to locate. as long as you are ready to undertake the emotional roller coaster of a birth parent search then go for it.
My hubby not 42 is adopted. Over the years he has wondered about his bio parents, possible other family members etc...
he would say he wanted to know and would start looking half heartedly. he would not find anything immediately.... so he would give up.
Now just a few weeks ago we have started researching together, and will not give up .
there are online groups of search angels that will help you for free, support groups that get you in touch with others going through the same thing as you are.
If you decide to look, be prepared that you may not like what you find, or that you may be disappointed. it is an emotional journey.
Hopefully your adoptive mom can support you and help you. (my husband isn't so lucky)
good luck! there are wonderful stories out there with adoptee's who love all of their family bio and adoptive :)
2007-05-22 09:41:32 · answer #4 · answered by butterfly 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to know where you came from than go for it...every person has the right to know who and where they came from...even the circumstances of your adoption...it wont make your adoptive parents any less "YOUR PARENTS" as they raised you and love you..you are their child no matter what...if it will ease your mind and make you feel better and give you closure than it wont hurt...at least then you can say that you know for sure.....my best friend is adopted and she recently got a binder in the mail from those that arranged her adoption giving her all the information on why she was given up and even had her biological mothers contact information that is current....she has bever contacted her, but now she knows the real story on where, why, and how...she feels better and more sure of herself
good luck in whatever you choose..it will be the right decision for you!!!
2007-05-22 09:37:48 · answer #5 · answered by JLee 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to know where you came from than go for it...every person has the right to know who and where they came from...even the circumstances of your adoption...it wont make your adoptive parents any less "YOUR PARENTS" as they raised you and love you..you are their child no matter what...if it will ease your mind and make you feel better and give you closure than it wont hurt...at least then you can say that you know for sure.....my best friend is adopted and she recently got a binder in the mail from those that arranged her adoption giving her all the information on why she was given up and even had her biological mothers contact information that is current..
2007-05-22 13:27:59 · answer #6 · answered by baby gurl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's really up to you, but personally I'd have to know. I'd want to at least see what my biological parents look like. My husband is kinda in the same situation. He recently found out that the man he thought was his dad really isn't. He knows his real father's name, even found his phone number and address! Now he's just trying to decide if he really wants to meet him. He says the only thing he's worried about is if he has a wife and kids that do not know about him. He doesn't want to cause him any problems with his family if he never told them he had a son somewhere.
2007-05-22 10:00:37 · answer #7 · answered by Small Town Gal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I, too, was adopted. Searching for birth parents is a personal choice. I don't want to find mine. I consider my parents, my parents. I am thankful the biological parents loved me enough to want to provide me a great set of parents, a loving home and a good life. As I get older I would like to know my medical history but that can be done without searching for anyone.
2007-05-22 10:34:42 · answer #8 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What does it matter what your sperm and egg donors are like? Your mom and dad that adopted are your mom and dad. Any genetic screening can tell you what you might want to know about the medical history you don't know.
As for curiosity, you may not like these people and would be let down. Your bio "mom" may have other children by now and not welcome the intrusion into her life. She did do an honorable thing by giving you life instead of aborting you.
I'm not telling you not to seek them out, but you should think about all of the outcomes. Good luck either way you decide.
2007-05-22 09:59:09 · answer #9 · answered by ladywildfireok 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have three adopted children, and I know that it is perfectly normal for an adopted child to wonder about his/her birth family. If my children decide to search for their birth parents when they are adults, it would not be at all hurtful to me. If I had been adopted, I too would want to know about the looks and medical history of my biological ancestors. Tell your mom that you love her very much, but that you would like to meet your birth family at least once, to see what they look like and to find out more about your medical background. I am sure she will understand.
2007-05-22 09:57:34 · answer #10 · answered by Marie C 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would look into it, if not to meet you biological parents, to at least get some family medical back ground and history. Having the information can be a huge help if something were to happen you or your children....genetics does play a big part in certain medical conditions. Even if you have to desire to get to know you bioloical family, you will still have some valuble information that could help you are even your kids.
2007-05-22 11:30:44 · answer #11 · answered by yetti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋