We had lived in a warzone for almost 9 years, should I divorce my wife?

Question

We had lived together for almost 9 years that wasn't planned but was obliged to stay together
because of the kids.

We frequently fight for different reasons and even more my wife has attempted to leaved from the
house a few times but returned home because the kids wants us together.

There are some instances that my wife becomes so violent that she would grab anything she could throw
to me even punch me several times in front of the kids. She didn't even care that the kids was watching and
shaking in fear because of what she did. Now that I wasn't sleeping with her (I chose to sleep downstairs
at the sofa to avoid her), she even accused me of having an affair with another girl. But what will I do? I don't
want to sleep with someone I don't want to be with.

Answer 1

Leave. Your children will be happier with a hapy mom & dad who live in different houses then a misserable mom and dad who live in the same house.. It will hurt the kids initially, but in the end, it will all work out.. they will grow to understand. just be sure to assure them that it is not their fault.. AND as a person...YOU need to get out of that. it is not a healthy relationship.

Answer 2

I tried the "stay for the kids" thing too. Believe me it DOESN'T work. EVERYONE keeps getting emotionally battered 24/7. Not a good enviorment for kids even if the marriage was solid. Kids will ALWAYS want their parents to stay together. Look, divorce is hard,painful, and a sh*t load of major game playing. And I WOULD do it all over again without hesitation. Good luck

Answer 3

i know your thinking of the kids but my dad was in the same situation with my mum she left in the end and i had a really hard time but now im older i understand where my dad was coming from you have to remember you have a life to if your worried about the kids take them with you and keep her away she does not sound like a good mother hitting you in front of the kids that's just not on the kids will learn that she is not a nice woman leave with the kids and start your life again good luck and brave man

Answer 4

Why in the world would you "choose" to live this way? for the kids? that's a cope out, and you know it. You either don't have a place to go to or, your afraid to leave. That's the jest of it.
Now, pack your stuff when she's gone and, get the heck out. Leave her a note, I'm sure she's going to expect it one day, and get out before she kills you. Find yourself a good attorney and file for divorce.
While your still young find someone that really appreciates you and start over.

I did this, " for the kids crap" many years ago, they still don't appreciate it, they didn't then and, they don't now. I should have gotten out then and not wasted my life. For me. it's to late.

Answer 5

This is a no brainer, you need to go. However before you leave, you would be wise to call the police and report her when she hits you or throws things at you...it is battery and she could get mad and do this to your kids in the future. File for divorce and explain the situation to the attorney or lawyer and file for temporary custody. She sounds like she would be threat to your kids.

Answer 6

My first statement would be to run as fast as you can either to the court house first or the police department to file charges against her for physical abuse. If the abuse is noted by the police you can take it to court to show how unstable she is. She doesn't need to hit you period...especially not in front of the kids. You could encourage her to go to individual, marriage and parental counseling. She is setting your kids up for failure, because she is teaching that it is ok to put your hands on your spouse. When the kids grow up and possibly try to hit their mate, they might get knocked out; there aren't too many people who are going to allow someone to beat them... You need to MAN UP, take control by hitting her where it hurts...If you can't find it in you to leave for yourself, then leave for the sake of the kids. You said that was the reason you stayed. What kid doesn't want to see mom and dad together. As parents it is our responsibility to make sure that we make decisions that will benefit the family overall, even if it means hurting our kids feelings. What if she flips out and hits the kids in a moment of rage??? She has issues that you have allowed your kids to see...you owe it to them to either leave with them or demand that your wife get help. Good luck to you and your family in whatever path you choose to take!!!

Answer 7

If you are assaulted call the police. Have her arrested and sleep in your own bed.
Let her know ahead of time how you are going to react if she refuses to control her self.
Careful what you are teaching your children by fighting.
Only you can answer whether to divorce but most would say yes.

Answer 8

She's out of control emotionally. She needs to get some help, and you need to get out of the house.

Staying married 'for the kids' is never a good thing. Her doing this in front of the kids is teaching them that it's okay to abuse someone they 'love'..........and that's never okay.