Do you expect the same from your spouse?

Question

When you are kind, supportive, respectful, understanding, . Don't you expect the same from your spouse?

Life is full of up and downs. Some unexpected events might prevent you from doing what you promised like illness or death of a relative which you are to attend the funeral.

I was so supportive to my wife when one of her close relatives died. And I literally nurse her and do all the house work when she is ill.

When my cousin died two weeks ago she was far some supportive. I was really shocked and angry when my cousin died at a car accident that wasn't his fault. She was crying about my voice tone when I talk and she was calling me names because of that, and it was after the funeral.

The other day I was ill. Her sister wanted a piece of equipment to fix her A/C which was with me. She wanted me to drive 70 miles in a highway while my temperature read 104. I told her it is dangerous and she says that I am irresponsible and undependable.

So what do you think?

Answer 1

It sound to me like your wife is being unsupportive, disrespectful. Her priority should be your well being as you have made her yours.
However, your wife is not going to see the error of her ways over night. Try talking to her about this situation, but that sound like it didn't work. Write her a letter telling her how you feel and what you think. Try a role reversal scenario. Maybe next time she is sick treat her the way she treats you.

Answer 2

Marriage is not all about taking, and you should expect the same treatment as you give your wife.However, some people don't seem to realize that. My husband nurses me and does the cooking and cleaning when I am sick, and has been very supportive when I have lost a loved one. He has had to put up with quite a few crying bouts when my youngest sister committed suicide, and also when my father died Of course, I treat him the same way, and would never expect more from him than I give. Perhaps if you explained to your wife, and told her that you need her support, and her understanding when you are ill, or in emotional pain, she would have a better attitude. I honestly think that some people just do not realize that they need to give to receive, and that by always withholding kindness and caring, they will drive their loved ones away eventually

Answer 3

It sounds like your wife needs an attitude adjustment. I can't believe that anyone would expect you to get in the car and drive with a 104 fever. That would have been very dangerous. Marriage is a two way street and both people should be compassionate and kind to each other no matter what the situation.You need to have a heart to heart talk with her and find out why she is acting this way. Take care and hope all works out well for you.

Answer 4

I think if you two love each other you need to tell me how you feel when she did that to you, maybe , maybe she didn't' realize what she was doing.
I am sorry she did that to you I would never to that to my hubby and I pray he wouldn't to me. I know he wouldn't, my cousin died last year in a car accident, it was his fault, he was drinking, and it was upsetting. My hubby was very caring when my Grannie died 2 years ago it was very shocking, she had a heart attach. every year I got o the cemetery and put flowers and clean of her stone, it upsets me for days. he is very good about my crying outburst.

Answer 5

i do expect the same from my husband but very rarely get it. when hes sick i take care of his but all day...but giving him meds runing for new meds trying to figure out whats wrong with him, but one the other hand if i am sick he does his own thing and i cant be sick i guess. i think you need to tell her how you feel, and explain to her what you just said, sometimes that the easiest....and sometimes it comes down to one person is always the giver and the other the taker, some more extreme then others, but someone is always the care giver and the other the care taker...usally the women is teh one giving when it coems to illness' because its in our nature to take care of sick things....but good job on tkaing care of her i'll send you my husband to you so you can give him some lessons!!!! keep your head up hopefully things will get better...just talk to her....

Answer 6

I would expect the same, but I learned along time ago...you can't expect people to do what you would do in a given situation...I would also Man-up and point out how self serving she is....it seems like everything is about her, what she wants, what she needs and how she wants things done. I stop expecting people to lend me a hand when I've lent them one. Good luck...

Answer 7

I think you are a grownup and are responsible for your own health. You are quite capable of saying "no, I am ill".
You don't say what it was about your tone of voice that upset your wife, after your cousin died. It doesn't sound as though you were distressed, though. Maybe she misread your grief as anger.

Answer 8

am sorry but people are imperfect, i would expect the same but it doesnt happen always,u r hurting get the courage and talk to her about how u feel.