Can any one help me to get out of my peculiar problem?

Question

Iam a very sensitive person.Whenever i want to perform infront of an audience or to confront an aggressive person , my B.P shoots up,words get choked and i start trembling.So i avoid such embarassing situations as much as possible.Is there any medication i can take just before such sittuations which is not harmful to health.

Answer 1

I believe you can try these things out to improve your health condition
# Yoga
# Proper diet. Minimise or rather eliminate food containing excess salt, spices and oils.
# Regular breathing exercises and fitness exercises.

To boost your confidence level, you can try these out :
# Interact more with your friends and family members.
# Gradually, make more friends, talk to more and more people. This will not only increase your level of confidence but also teach you important tips to deal with different people.
# Practise your speeches or songs (from your question, I couldn't infer what you perform in front of audiences) in front of a mirror.
Don't get upset if you make mistakes. Try again and again and you will improve.
# You can also perform in front of a small audience consisting of your friends and family. Their suggestions will also prove to be useful for you.
I hope I have helped you to solve your problem.
ALL THE BEST.

Answer 2

This is not a peculiar problem and a lot of folks suffer from this. You know we are wired as they say for "fight or flight" and have been as long as we have evolved on the planet. Problem today is we are not out hunting, or living in a survival mode where that mechanism would come in handy and would be most appropriate. If for example a lion were coming after us, or we were running from an enemy, our BP would go up, the adrenlin would flow and we would be out of there..:) Today requires staying in nerve wracking situations, such as when we have to take an important test, or give a speech in front of people, or even asking out someone we have a crush on...well just about any situation that makes you nervous activates that mechanism. However you cannot respond in the manner in which you are naturally "wired" thus you cannot just run away.

The following approaches have helped me. People think I am very confident, outgoing, etc. BUT what they do not know is how nervous I am sometimes. Here are a few approaches that have helped me in the past.

1) Prior to an engagement that you know is going to make you nervous, see if there is somewhere you can just sit for say 5 minutes. Close your eyes and then breathe deeply through your nose, as deep as you can, and then hold it for about 10 seconds and let it out through your mouth...do this about 4 or 5 times. And then let your breathing go back to normal but just focus on your breathe, and not any thoughts, although they will come and go. Keep your eyes closed the whole time. I guarantee you will relax and be much calmer.

2) You should avoid any stimulants such as coffee, sugar etc. the day you need to perform or doing something potentially nerve wracking.

3) Kava Kava is an herbal supplement that is not dangerous, and does not smell as bad a valerian root imo, and seems to have a calming effect without sleepiness. You could start taking it in the morning prior to your engagement and you will be a bit calmer.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Hi 007

That is one very interesting strategy you have there, if I may say so.

You've decided you are "a very sensitive person" - which immediately makes communicating in public a major problem.

And of course the more often you tell yourself that, the more you will behave in whatever way YOU think a "very sensitive person behaves."

So far we know that you've decided that the behaviour of "a very sensitive person" includes:

- Your blood pressure "shoots up" (which is very easy to control)

- "Words get choked" (also completely under your control)

- And you start trembling (also under your control).

And this gives you an excuse to "avoid such embarassing situations" EVEN THOUGH you claim you WANT "to perform infront of an audience or to [be able to] confront an aggressive person."

Neat.

But not convincing.

You don't need any medication to deal with this situation. You need to STOP programming yourself with negative thoughts and excuses, and START thinking about dealing with these situations in a positive manner so as to achieve the goals you claim to want.

Or get yourself some new goals that genuinely motivate you.

Answer 4

In personal confrontations I tend to use quiet sarcasm. Its the yelling and screaming part that upsets me, and I had asthma as a child and learned to restrain my emotions or have an attack. Being angry isn't an illness, at least not when its appropriate, and the 'symptoms' you describe are normal for anger. So don't think you have to take something, that's the way you are supposed to be, the adrenaline does that to you.
The public speaking thing is different, many actors and actresses have that, always have that, and yet they go on stage every night and just do it.
There are quite a few situations in life that may be described as making you uncomfortable in the physical sense, that doesn't mean you try to blank them out with drugs, it just means you learn that the feeling you have won't kill you if you have them, you get past them and do what you have to do, and go on from there, the speech is soon over, and the anger is soon vented.

Answer 5

Ironic that your nic is 007 with such a problem but the combination says a great deal. You have confidence issues. Easy enough to solve part of that. You want to be more confident that means doing more stuff. The second part is realizing that nobody is perfect. Nobody is really as calm as they seem under stress.

Another thing to consider the worst possible failure is exactly what you are doing, that is sabataging yourself.

The cure:
First go do something stupid in public. Something funny that will get people to laugh at you. Not so weird you get arrested for it. Maybe go to a park with a fountain wearing swim fins and an intertube. Maybe it's standing up in front of a poetry club and reading a raunchy limerick. The idea is to intentionally embarrass yourself. To let go of things for a minute and play the fool. Act like an idiot because you mean too.

Then after you do it think about it a minute and realize. Hmm that wasn't so bad after all was it? It really isn't. Everybody does stupid things from time to time. By doing one intentionally you not only have a tale to tell to get laughs later on in life you realize that the worst possible outcome is not all that bad.

Do not do something that will get you arrested or that will scar you for life or that puts your life in danger.

Next think of something relitively safe that scares you. Write several of these things down. Skydiving for example. Maybe it's the monster roller coaster or flying in a plane or standing near the edge of a very tall building. Maybe it's handling a snake or being around big dogs. Doesn't matter. Long as it is not super risky. Wright them down and number at least six of them. Then assign dice scores to them and roll the dice. Once that number is picked do the corresponding activity. Might take you a couple weeks to work up to it. Once you do it you'll be glad you did. You will have overcome fear to do accomplish a goal. Nobody can teach you how to do that, only put you in a situation where you have to learn that to complete a task. In this case whatever you rolled the dice for. Again I stress safety. You also on the first time around might want to bring a friend. If you do, do it again alone. The idea is learning how to conquer fear in a situation that doesn't have dire consequences.

Do these two things and you'll find that you suddenly have measurably more confidence in yourself.

Next rehearse well in advance a stressful situation. Then a couple hours before it distract yourself. Do not rehearse or even think about it until you are doing it. One thing you are likely doing to hurt yourself is your so wrapped up in preparing and worrying that you literally stress yourself into failure. You fail once and you worry more about the next time which begins a cycle.

Last remember these rules.
First rule is believe in yourself.
2nd rule, figure out your goal, the worst that can happen. Have a fall back plan for the worst. Mitigate it if at all possible.
Third rule when it comes time to do, focus focus focus on the task. Forget consequence, impressions. There is only one thing in the world when it comes time to do whatever you are doing and that is the task at hand. Once you start it's like diving off a cliff. You are commited and there are only two things that can happen. You can do the best you possibly can by staying focused or you can allow yourself to be self distracted and semi-intentionally create a self induced painful belly flop.
Last rule. The people you are dealing with are either as nervous as you or would be in your place. So just work through it. Thats what everybody else does. What people think of what you are doing it while you are doing it means nothing. You set on a goal, so do it and let nothing stand in your way until you have done so.

Answer 6

Some really good answers above sorry if this is already mentioned but I used to go all week in the knees, sweat, forget what I had to say etc. When I went into it I realised that I was worrying too much about what other people thought of me. I don't care what anyone thinks of me anymore - I just do the best job I can with whatever I'm doing. If I make a mistake I laugh at myself and get on with whatever I'm doing.
This has helped - most people think I have a lot of confidence but not really. Hope this helps (I don't believe drugs help).
Good luck

Answer 7

Maybe you could try something natural like valerian root....you can get it at the drugstore where the vitamins and herbs are. Any other type of anti-anxiety medication that is prescribed can become very addictive. It sounds like you just are nervous in front of people and this is very common, Try practicing your speech or your lines in front of the mirror over and over again. Take long, deep breaths before you go out on stage or have to confront someone. You may try talking to a counselor and many times they can help you to develop strategies to calm down before these kinds of situations. I wish you well.

Answer 8

u r suffering from stage fear
the best way is that first do practise in front of mirror
b habitual of this
the second step is that ask ur close frnds & relatives to see ur performance & if u make any mistake then ask them to correct u.

most imp thing is ur mind stablity
dont think that if i make this mistake on stage what others will think
have the satisfaction that among so many people only u have the krage on being at the stage

Answer 9

Marijuana. It'll make you feel more relaxed around others in no time. It's only illegal because of the pharmaceutical companies anyway... no more harmful than alcohol (& alcohol isn't as good a relaxer as weed... let's face it).

There are legal alternatives to weed if you can't find a dealer, search with google (words like legal, alternative, weed, etc...)

Answer 10

You don't have to take any medications for such a simple problem .Just be confident guy and be cool ....