Is it just about the physical side?

Question

When you lose the communication in a relationship and don't seem to have much in common with your partner,spend your nights both doing ur own thing is that just the comfort of being long term? It may all be in my head but i only seem to get attention from him when he wants abit of you know what. He said its not true but he doesnt really interact with me much apart from that. I cant have a kiss or hug from him without it having to lead to something and that doesnt make me feel very special or loved ...well its nice to know he finds me attractive but thats not everything is it. What do you think?

Yes i have stopped wanting to be physical through feeling thats all he wants. I have tried alot over the last coouple of months to sit and talk but he never listens or seems interested. I got sick of trying so wrote him an E-mail,he read it last night and never said a word about it,just looked at it like i was insane? oh dear

Answer 1

that why we say : u have to really do hard work on a relationship but not only one side but both ...most of the times its just the one partner that keeps trying and the feelings flow away
i can understand u very well and i think its time to have a serious chat with him ... not with emails but with a true conversation
best wishes x

Answer 2

Hell no, it's not everything. A long term relationship is built on love, trust, communication,and many other things including a sexual attraction but definitely not the most important thing at all. If you find that the only time he wants to hug you or kiss you is to have sex, check him because that is not right. Let him know now that sex is not all you want from him. Perhaps suggest going out some nights. Plan things outside of the house to do with each other. Talk about things together. If the communication is gone, you are definitely in trouble. Talk to him about how you feel and let him know that you do not feel like he loves you. I kiss my boyfriend all the time and tell him that I love him. He did the same tonight. He was watching the basketball game in another room and he came in here where I was, and snuggled with me for a while and said that I love you. That's how it should be. you don't deserve to feel like that. Let his *** know that ASAP. You are not his play toy.

Answer 3

I know how you feel I'm in the same boat. It's awful sometimes I want to scream at him give me some attention! Eventually you go off sex completely and I stopped "putting out" and that got his attention! We both do our own thing separately, I think we are just in a rut and have nothing to talk about anymore, He's taking me away for a weekend away from work, kids and bills etc. can't wait maybe you should try getting away from it all and spending quality time together. Sit him down and talk it through you have to work at love but it's worth it in the end. You are not the only one who feels like this, Good luck x

Answer 4

Oh honey, my heart goes out to you. I know just what you are going through. I really do. sitting, standing, riding or lying by side him, you just want to scream, because you want his love and attention so badly and all he seem to know is how to take you to bed. Now between your leg's you can hear I love you and only then you're not sure if he's talking about you as a woman or your body parts. Talking to him is like a pain on it's own, because you're really talking by yourself.He's Almost in fear that there's something you are gonna ask him and he's not ready for it. A hug or a kiss is out, unless you are willing to be naked for the next 30 to 40 Min's and in bed. After you tried to talk to him, you wrote him and said nothing about that, I don't know what else you can try. I remember telling my husband after making love, that I didn't feel love, he repeated what I said about 3 times and laughed in a funny kinda way and looked at me, as to say,'' what more do you want?'' Nothing changed, nothing is still talked about, there's no more alone time(unless you are in the bed). The only thing is left is a preacher to do some kind of intervention or a therapist. Sorry you feel this way.

Answer 5

i agree it shouldnt be just about the physical....before we had our baby we were quite physical, but since bub has arrived i seem to have lost all physical wantings, and my hubby has been very understanding, we can still have kisses and hugs without it leading to anything, its nice.....i think you need to sit down with you partner and tell him how you feel, a relationship should be based around sex, doing your own thing is fine but you need to spend time together, special time together, which doesnt always end up in sex....talk to him and tell him he needs to make an effort, and maybe you'll find that you do too, good luck

Answer 6

Unfortunately, this is just a Sexual Relationship Only!

The key words is: I only seem to get attention from him
when he wants something. And he doesn't interact with me
much apart from this.

You can find someone better out here that would connect
with your MIND, BODY, and SOUL.

Good Luck To You

Answer 7

hi...i too feel like that sometimes....my partner only bothers with me when he wants his leg over, but i don't give in, we have always been close but over the years he has taken our relationship for granted, we don't go out as much as we used to...in fact not at all these days, he is too busy on his computer playing poker to even notice i am there, and only now and then he will raise his head when he hears the phone, so he can hear the phone, he can hear the door but he cannot hear me...great innit? the only time he does take notice is when he wants a shag...but i have told him that if that's all i am worth to him, then he's to take a walk.....don't allow him to do this hun...your worth more than that, tell him straight.....your way or the highway.....

Answer 8

This is normal in a marriage (A lack of talking) Is it good ? No. Also men look at the physical as evidence that they are loved while women look at the communication and expression of feelings as evidence they are loved.

You need to talk to him about your needs so they are met too--not just his-- or over time you will become resentful and not want to give the physical, in which case your marriage may be jeopardized cause no one is getting their needs met.

Answer 9

You're right, it isn't all about the "O". You need someone to have conversation and some quality time together. If you find yourself in two different rooms watching t.v., then you both should re-evaluate your relationship. Sounds like you could use a vacation away together so you can explore new places and learn together vs. staying in the house making whoopie when "he" wants it.

Answer 10

Make sure that you also look at yourself in this. It's rare that growing apart is just one person;s fault. While he may not want to open up to you, maybe a third party can get him to do so. Counseling, maybe?