Why is it that most people give the advice to leave the spouse. Is there no commitment anymore? Why not encourage counseling and communication?
2007-05-21 16:59:30 · 22 answers · asked by jhardinmom 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
bcos most people have lost their moral convictions.
divorce is always the answer since we don't wanna do the right things- just the convenient ones.
it starts from when we were younger:
boys want the outwardly beautiful chick, though he knows she usually has poor human relations. so he sells some of his inner qualities to hold on to such a girl.
girls want to have the guy that they know is not interested in their feelings. eventhough she lets every other guy think her feelings are so important.
truth is most boys and girls spend almost all their emotional resources when they are kids on their 4th, 5th girlfriend. then when they get married they don't have enough to spend on marriage. at the end of the day you get lies, pain, despair, malice, cheating, more despair, and finally divorce.
counseling?...what do they really know: weren't they young boys and girls once? don't they also have their priorities twisted?
2007-05-22 04:16:58 · answer #1 · answered by as_a_youngthief_in_da_night 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there are a couple of reasons.
[1] The person most willing to go to counseling isn't the one who needs to change.
[2] Counseling frequently just teaches people how to argue using fancier name-calling.
[3] Both parties have to be willing. That's almost always *not* the case.
[4] Staying with an abusive partner is not a sign of godly commitment to a promise. It's a sign of stupidity.
[5] Communication requires 2 parties. And the person wronged wants to talk and see action, not listen and take action.
[6] Citing "for better or for worse" doesn't make sense if your spouse chops off one of your toes every night. It makes just as little sense in many abusive relationships.
[7] You assume everyone thinks like you - using a sense of logic and fairness and respect for others in the relationship.
That is rarely the case.
There - seven WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY's by you - seven answers in response.
2007-05-22 00:09:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
1. Because counseling does not always work.
2. If one spouse is cheating, there is no commitment.
3. When one spouse wants out, there is no talking about, the choice has been made.
2007-05-22 00:07:02 · answer #3 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well there wouldn't be a problem in the first place if they were communicating!!!! And counseling does not work for most, its just prolong the inevitable...If someone is in an abusive, their spouse is cheating, no trust and other reasons, they should leave...
They were not meant to be together and apart they will find happiness with someone they should be with...
2007-05-22 00:07:59 · answer #4 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wait a second, I'll take a jab for sure on this one... I love my wife and three kids. I have been seeing help and its been so-so at best. I am a good communicator to my wife but i cannot push the issue, that's the consulars job and a little of yours. Tonality, and timing. My issue is after the third child the sex was off the map, she lost interest and does not even care to do it. I must say that i have been tempted to cheat, and push the envelope from time to time but I stop and think of my wife;s feeling and what it would do to my kids. So keep trying with support to your spouse. Reminder to all readers the three T's in communication You tone, time, talent.
2007-05-22 00:19:56 · answer #5 · answered by married illinois with issues 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the questions ask should they stay or leave. Just look at some of the losers these people are married to. How many times they cheated on their spouse. I would tell them in a heartbeat to leave unless they want to stay in a stagnant relationship that will not get any better.
2007-05-22 00:09:17 · answer #6 · answered by seahorse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because most of the qustions asked are to far gone to even consider counselling. I think personally if your mate cheats that the marriage is over since they have come to a point where they do not care what they do or say to you.
I do think alot of people could patch up there marriages but it comes down to both parties willing to go through that step.
Most times it is a lost cause unless both people want to fight for the marriage.
2007-05-22 00:12:10 · answer #7 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is still commitment. If one spouse breaches the "marriage contract" why should they deserve a second chance? If they didn't care enough to not hurt their spouse why stay?
2007-05-22 00:09:54 · answer #8 · answered by Mark and Allie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think when one asks for help he/she gone thru counseling talking and then when it does not seem to work they ask for advice. When the sore gets too malign it is better to cut off the limb, otherwise the disease spreads to the other parts of the body as well
2007-05-22 04:14:45 · answer #9 · answered by Ginns 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know I try to encourage people to look at themselves and see what they can change to make the relationship work. We cannot change others, but we can change ourselves and do things that can nurture the relationship.
Most people don't take marriage and the committment of it seriously anymore. The world is going to hell I tell ya.
2007-05-22 00:14:10 · answer #10 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋