I need psychological advice or help.?

Question

I am 32yrs.

I am quite obsessed with getting old.

Since elementary school I v often got gloomy or even cried thinking my mom and dad someday are going to die cuz we all get older.

People say I dont look old( of course I am 32) but quite often I ask friends do I look old today? quite silly.

I am unsecure psychologically .

I feel like being chased by the obsession that life is short ,I must do something in a hurry.

Thats why I ask here to you.

Answer 1

I am 16 years old. I used to get very upset at the prospect of my parents dying. Now, although it would be an upsetting ordeal of a death in the family, especially an untimely one, I see it now as a conclusion of their "mission" here on earth. I do not mean to preach in any way; I am agnostic. But perhaps there is another place you/your loved ones needed to be at the moment of their demise, and where they were when they died was not the place they needed to be.
As for your problems with getting old, that is probably a part of your mid-life crisis (I personally don't know, I'm in my High School Crisis, no where near mid-life). It is usually a self-help problem, but maybe a few visits to a psychiatrist or even a crisis relief agent would do you a world of good (especially the crisis relief agent, I've talked to many).

Answer 2

Fear is basically what you are describing so it's obvious you've got a neurosis or two knocking about in your head. Never fear, we have a club with free membership and it's called "The Still Alive And Kicking". If you find the fear paralytic or dibilitating that's the point where you need intervention of a psychologist or professional help. Most often...that's not going to be the case.

You may continue to be fearful for any number of reasons. Fear is most often misidentified as to the cause and that's why we continue to be afraid. It can be a preventitive from taking risks because we actually fear failure. After all, by doing nothing we risk nothing, but regrets in old age. It can be a cover up for our personal insecurities and continued dependence on others to manage our lives. We don't want to let go of the comforts of the past so we chose to remain immobile. It can simply be looking back and feeling remorseful that nothing has happened while we've continued to be afraid. We're stuck in the moment by thinking back and feeling there's not tomorrow. The long and short of it is, you need to find a way to lift yourself up. Stop waiting for something you can't control and take action now! LIVE! Living doesn't take place when you die, or when you're mourning the loss of loved ones. It takes place in all those things you do together, the places you go, the things you DO. That's the solace we have in old age. That's the reflections and living memories we hang onto when people pass away from our lives. When you feel those fears coming on, don't hide behind them, don't mourn for what hasn't even happened, cherish the NOW and get with the people who matter the most to you. Call and plan a get together. Have a picnic...whatever. Just break out of the isolation and enjoy this moment. It's ot about the last one, but the present one. Hope is for future things, but Faith lives in the moment.

Good journey.

Answer 3

Tell me, are you active in an adventurous edgy type of living? Bungee jumping? Rock climbing? Or Skydiving? I believe your not living life to it's fullest. You have an enxiety inside that actually makes you feel like you gotta go yet stay at the same time. If you go, you fear a deathly uncertanty of what you might be missing or have missed while out. For some reason that fear is someone close to you passing away. I believe in a pass life, you and your family parished at an early age, but your death was'nt sudden. You had enough time to reflect on that scary moment. you were probably 5 mayby 6 years old. Life came and went to fast. But when you stay home you feel your not enjoying or even joining in on what life has to offer. The world is a beautiful place to see. Go out and see it. Everyone dies eventually and if you play your cards right you won't ever be alone it alone. Living in fear of death while your living is a life of self imprisonment. I sure hope my thoughts on this matter helps you. Please leave me a note if it does or you need my insight a little bit more .

Answer 4

I can give u the exact answer that u require bcoz I have passed thru this situation exactly so I can presume that your thinking pattern resembles mine and my thinking pattern can influence yours accurately.

I am 43 and have seen much more in life than you have so I can tell you that I have passed ,such exact situation, by and have transformed into a different person because CHANGE is POSSIBLE. Only thing is that this Change comes from within and no counselling can help it though when this WITHIN is ready for this CHANGE, it heeds to any good advice automatically.

1. I was about to die when a few months old - so age has got nothing to do with death - then why fear it?

2. I have been a very sick child and am much healthier and more active -in mind and body- now. So again, Age doesn't scare me.

3. My father died at a very young age and I was shattered but in retrospect I feel now, that he was luckier as they say - THOSE DIE YOUNG WHOM GOD LOVES MORE- because he was saved from so many hardships and dilemmas.

THE ONLY THING IS THAT EVERY MOMENT MUST BE LIVED TO THE FULLEST.

Answer 5

I am unsecure psychologically .

I feel like being chased by the obsession that life is short ,I must do something in a hurry.

We are all affected by feelings like this at one point in life or another. You recognize that you are having these feelings to a point where they may be out of proportion though. If this is interfering in your life, and making the most of it, then you should seek professional help, there are alot of good thoughts posted here today, but really if the feelings are that deep, you really need more help than an internet forum. You could be suffering from depression, anxiety, or ocd. It could be due to a chemical imbalance. These are all treatable things, and while you should take the thoughts posted on this page to help you, you really should have a professional evaluation of it......good luck to you.....

Answer 6

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it) life doesn't have a timer letting us know how much longer we have to fulfill our purpose. If you re-focus your energy on reaching your destiny rather than how much time you've got left to do so, I don't think you'll feel quite so gloomy. Yes, there will be bad days and times when we experience loss and failure, but I believe when we are living our passion and/or purpose we will be filled with a joy and peace that can never be stolen.

So now you wanna know, "How do I find that purpose/passion?" As a Christian, I believe that my passion has been revealed to me through meditating God's word and communing with the Holy Spirit.

You may want to meet with a professional counselor to help you deal with some issues from you past (or present). Once you are free from this mental bondage your age will only be a number with no more meaning than your Drivers License number.

Be Blessed.

Answer 7

I think you're a very wise, very insightful young man.

When the Buddha 'first saw' an old man, and realised that that process happened to all of us, he decided to seek 'where it did not occur'. The 'ageless' (ajaraa).

It's a synonym for the Buddhist concept of Nirvaana.

It sent Him on a Quest for (the) Good, the Wholesome, Skill... He did not give up on it.

He later referred to aging as a 'Heavenly Messenger' (Deva Duta), as (awareness of) it is what contributes to the living of a good life.

Don't worry, my friend.

Am sure all is unfolding as it should.

(Added):

As many have commented all over R & S, at death, it is only the body that 'dies'...

Spiritual & truly religious people have probably always been misunderstood, suspected & feared by the materially minded.

There's nothing wrong with you.

Feel at ease, in your skin.

It's the nutcases around you that've got it wrong, IMHO.

Answer 8

Just consider death the destination and life the journey. It is the journey which matters most and if you spend your whole journey fearing the destination then you will not be able to fully enjoy the journey and that would be the true loss.

There is nothing wrong with seeking professional counseling to get help in dealing with your anxieties. How could it be if it helps you live a better, happier, more peaceful life? So don't be afraid to seek counseling if you think you need it.

Answer 9

I'm not a psycholog but ur feeling is the same with me and all people around the world just make the best of our life coz life is short. That's Life. In the past and until now.. people ... born ... grown up ....& .. die ... so It's a matter what u choose to make ur life more meaningful.
- If u seek answer in the bible you will find a lot of reasons to achieve ur goal and make ur life better also u will feel secure even u getting older and die
- If u seek from material things u will find thats only chasing a wind.

Answer 10

Life is sickeningly short, and I'm glad you know that. It is such a precious thing, with so little to protect it. I hope your fear makes you live for your values because you have a perspective. Living for pleasure is something you can do if you have eternity, but we don't.

I wake up every morning wondering how God will use me today, and it makes me happy to think that my short life can do so much because I can hear Him and listen to Him. I'm 18, and I can't stop wondering what I should do with the rest of my life, but I know I want to make Him proud.

If you don't know what your life is for, I will be praying for you. We actually do have an eternity of living, but only a short time to decipher its meaning.