how long takes for a man to move on from his ex wife who he was in love for two and loved or compromising for 8 and ended in divorce...?
i am with him for half year, and we fought over this ex issue on regular basis, he is angry that i dont believe him ---he told me that he doesnt love her anymore, he never wanna get back with her, his care for her because of memory,it is not love...but everytime, while there is a situation he feels he does the right thing toward her and i dont think that's proper, he would gets all angry with me again, he always has this romantic ending melody in his head from my point of view, but NO one wants his boyfriend on hand with her, another hand to romantically end with another woman. when i am very frustrating, he would prefer us to have a break but just cant simply dont care about his ex...is it a sign that he is using me for moving on...feels like his past love story is more important than our present one..
please help..a sad silly girl
2007-05-21 16:53:06 · 10 answers · asked by sabella 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Moving on cannot be measured in time. This man was married for eight years and ended up divorcing the woman he swore to love, honor and cherish until the end of time. He married her because he loved her and had every intention of being with her until he died. The fact that the relationship did not work out and that he has moved on to be with you, doesn't mean that the love for his ex-wife can be just turned off like a light switch. There is a grieving process associated with the end of any long-term relationship that is sort of like grieving the death of a loved one. He invested time and emotion into that marriage and it's going to take time for him to heal.
It probably wasn't a great idea for you to get into a relationship with him while he is still in the healing process. You are what is known as the "rebound relationship." And basically what that involves is he is using you as a distraction or an emotional stomping ground while he gets through his feelings and gets over his wife. While that is a noble thing to do for another human being, realize that you may not get a genuine long-term relationship from him. Right now, he has nothing emotionally to offer you except a broken heart and a truckload of memories about his marriage and his wife. To save your sanity and to give yourself the love of a lifetime that you deserve, you have to get out of this relationship and find someone who does not have the endless amounts of baggage that this man carried into your relationship. Good luck.
2007-05-21 17:09:58 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should most definitely leave. For your own emotional growth you have got to get out of this situation. I agree that you are a transitionary person in this man's life. This guy is using you.
On a different note, you do not have to feel sorry for yourself once you have broken things off. Do not feel like you have to run out and find another man. I suggest you really search your soul and figure out the kind of man you really want (preferrably not married, or freshly divorced) and then search your soul some more and get to know yourself inside and out. I went through a horrible rut where I didn't know how to function with a man at my side, and often times it was several men, but I finally had enough and it dawned on me that the only way I would ever find a real relationship was to know myself first. Good luck to you, and don't fall for silly tears and promises from this man anymore. You deserve better.
2007-05-22 00:12:43 · answer #2 · answered by blue25tulip 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you really tired the way he is acting? From what you said about the way he acts at times. He is not over his ex's and might not be until he really to let it go. No matter how often he thinks about the good memories of the good times he and his ex's had, if he can't let go and move on with his life. Then he is still in love with her, admit or not he still in love with her. its time for you to set sail, sad silly girl.
I would like to suggest this to you, the next time you meet a guy is divorce and still talk about his ex's or get upset when you remind him is time to move on. Get the heck away from him and the heck if he a good man. If he was that good of a man (from his ex wife point of view) they would still be together. Remember that you can't make someone to give up something if they're not willing to give up on their own. That is one life lesson that many of us fail to fully understand. good luck..
2007-05-22 00:31:06 · answer #3 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in a tough place, sister. If it doesn't feel like a man puts you first for ANY reason (other than football) then something isn't right. This is a big deal and the next time it comes up, put your foot down AND up his @ss and tell him you've had enough. It's either her or me. If he balks, you walks. Stick to your guns or else you'll be in limbo forever.
Good luck!
2007-05-22 00:02:33 · answer #4 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like women have there rebound guys your his rebound girl. I think you need to ask yourself this question is this guy worth going through all this crap with his ex all the time.
Personally it sounds like you are fed up with it so just move on. Hopefully you will find a guy that is not dwelling on his ex all the time.
God Bless and Best Wishes!
2007-05-22 00:05:31 · answer #5 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we all have a past let it go you cant make him move on maybe he is doing the best he can i was with a man for 20 year when we split up we stayed friends we talked on the phone we went to one another house we have 3 kids so it was for the best i was not in love with him anymore but i still loved him. we stayed friends till he died and i still miss him. remarried 6mo after we split my man new i was in love with him so it was no big deal.
2007-05-22 00:09:00 · answer #6 · answered by teadropsue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haved never seen a sad silly girl but I have seen a happy silly girl before
2007-05-22 00:04:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you just answered your own question. You are probably the transisition girl because he is having a hard time moving on. Time for you to move on because he is just not that into you enough to choose you over her.
2007-05-21 23:59:30 · answer #8 · answered by lavendergoddess1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask him this question: What has our marriage meant to you?
That will be your answer to make a life time decision.
Good Luck!
2007-05-22 00:15:54 · answer #9 · answered by Edith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the in between girl
2007-05-21 23:59:47 · answer #10 · answered by Bones 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋