How do I fix a my stupid mistake?

Question

I Know im going to get alot of negitive remarks, but I would like some honest input. I was out with some friends drinking and got past the drunk stage to the stumble around and passout stage. Somehow I ended up flirting with woman and it progress to touching and feeling. I dont remeber every detail, but I know that we did not have sex. I left the bar and felt horrible about it and was going to call my wife and tell her. One of my friends wifes talked me out of it for the simple reason I was drunk. Her theory was I wake her up at 3 am stupidly drunk and tell her on the phone, she would more upset than sobber and In person. I turned myself in the next day. She left , with our daughter(16 months), for 2 days and is coming home tomarrow. The last thing I ever wanted to do was cheat. I love my wife and she is a wonderful mother. I have already found some marrige councilers in our area, sent her flowers, and said Im sorry a million times. What else can I do to show her I REALLY am sorry?

I'm not trying to justify my drinking, but I just wanted to state that since we became serious, I dont drink that often. Maybe once a month. Also I have already swore off drinking to her and and dump somewhere around 100$ -125$ worth of alchohol, that we kept on hand for mixing drinks when we entertain for parties and barbeques, down the drain. I know that it will be a long time, if ever, that I do drink again and only will it be with her. And only if that is something she wants me to do.

Answer 1

No negative remarks here. What is honorable is that you realized that you made a mistake and you were man enough to turn yourself in. Not only did you confess but you went the extra mile and made grand gestures to show that you were sorry. Moving forward the biggest thing that you can do is continue to show your wife how much you love her by your actions as well as your words. I think for a first offense the counseling was a bit extreme, but hey whatever it takes. The important thing is that you do whatever you can to restore and retain her trust. As you know without trust there is no marriage. I applaud your honesty and your efforts and for God's sake, when you're hanging out with your friends drink responsibly. I'm sure you like having a family to go home to. And how fun is it to constantly have to apologize to the woman you love? Good luck.

Answer 2

OK i have been married for 5 years...... and i Know that if my husband were to tell me that he did that and he said he was drunk then I would get mad very mad, because it does sound like you are trying to justify what you did,because of the fact that you were drunk.What you should of done was go home....stopped yourself.But its too late now.There's nothing you can really do to ease her mind it takes time.You completely betrayed her by doing this,usually with a young child.That is the way she will look at it.Give her some space don't ask her whats wrong all the time.If I were you I wouldn't go drinking with your Friends for a very long time or never again.Every-time that you are out alone shes going to wonder.It hurts, put yourself in her shoes, think about it.Give her time to heal and go to counseling.If your marriage can survive this then commend her on her ability to forgive, but I promise you forgetting is another story.

Answer 3

This is not the first time someone has done something very stupid while intoxicated. It can happen to anyone who gets a little too loaded. Your wife has every right to be upset. But, she is getting a little bit carried away. What you did was not what I would even call cheating. You did not go home with her and have sex. You did not exchange information to hook up later. You just got a little randy, and did a naughty thing.
I would continue to apologize to your wife because she is obviously hurt by this. And if you cannot behave yourself while drinking, then you need to stop. Good luck.

Answer 4

I wish men were more like you lol. Not cheating but being so honest and loving. Just know she will not get over this no time soon. Im happy that you already got counclers and everthing. it proves that you really do care instead of some guy who is like i love yo im sorry and then does it again. Well so far your on the right track. You need to stop drinking cuz its what got you into this trouble! i know guys are like no but if you was never drunk cheating whould of never took place. Just tell her you love her. There is a song that has a verse in it saying " tell her that you love her. tell her that you want her to stay" I don't rem it all but its good its country but good. I hope everything works out for yaw. But if you do it again i hope she leaves you cuz then you deserve it. :) just being honest lol

Answer 5

When she comes home just be honest with her and tell her you didn't mean it, you never wanted to hurt her, you understand her reservations. Make sure you let her know how much her and your child mean to you and that you want to work things out and go to counseling. Be real sincere because a girl will be able to look in your eyes and tell that you mean what you say and i'll be easier to forgive you. The thing that you got workin for you is that you didn't have sex! you were drunk and maybe you should work on drinking less alcohol and let her know and be assured that it'll never happen again. Good luck honey!

Answer 6

You fix your stupid mistake by making it up to your wife and your daughter every day for the rest of your life!!!!!!! So, far it does seem like you are taking steps in the right direction. I think the most important thing is not only tell her and show her that you love her but also let her know that you appreciate her every day. I hope she gives you a second chance and you take that second chance and make your marriage better than ever. Goodluck.

Answer 7

Offer to take her on a second honeymoon. Just the two of you. Make it a romantic destination like on an island in Hawaii or the Caribbean.

Take her shopping to buy her new clothes for the second honeymoon.

I think it would really get to her if you ordered a huge vase of flowers to be delivered to her with a card asking her to go on a second honeymoon. You could also ask her to marry you all over again.

In Hawaii, you can get married a second time on a beautiful barge covered in flowers on this beautiful stream with waterfalls and everything. It's really cheap and very romantic.

Answer 8

#1) don't let it happen again.
# 2) allow her to distrust you for at least a year until you earn back her trust and respect
# 3) don't expect things to be easy
# 4) Continuously re-assure her of your love and loyalty
# 5) don't expose yourself to the temptation and you shouldn't have to worry about this happening again.
# 6) find someone to hold you accountable (not your wife) who will call you out when you've had too much or are getting flirty...(which you shouldn't do anymore anyways, but just in case).
# 7) do something totally unexpected and completely romantic for your wife at least once every couple of months to let her know you are sorry and that you appreciate her.
#8) do your best to listen intently to her concerns and to validate her feelings even if you don't entirely understand them.

Answer 9

whoa dude. She kinda freaked the **** out and that i do no longer in all possibility comprehend why. a million. as a results of fact who's mushy with their female spending any mount of time with an ex 2. except the ex and the female have a stable friendship that is composed of you while you're relationship her, that's disrespectful and irrelevant for her to proceed a relationship along with her ex 3. she kinda went from a million to ten in ten seconds flat whch, freaking out is often guilts grotesque cousin to purpose and placed the emphesis on you and what you're doing incorrect, so i could wager that she the two cheated or has been majorly accused of doing such in the previous for no real reason. I hink you have been purely being a guy and then found out it could desire to have been unwarranted and looked as though it could prefer to repair and to sense undesirable for what could have dissatisfied her. i think of she's nuts or a cheater or desires a counselor

Answer 10

going out drinking and accidentally getting drunk, i would think that your actions might just get disregarded. However, you got drunk, flirted, felt bad and told your wife. Your wife left which makes me think maybe this has happened before. My solution would be to promise her that you won't go out drinking again and hope she believes you. If its true that you really do love your wife, you won't use alcohol again because that's what is causing your problem.