How do you negotiate *sleeping around* within your committed relationship? What *rules* do you play by?

Answer 1

Well, honestly. That's something that's not a good thing to do....maybe you should both think about playing together, no separate....and that way you find common ground. No one is playing more than the other, and you both see what's going on. It's not a trust issue....though....its just watching out for your real relationship....don't forget about that.

I've seen a lot of relationships go dumps up, because they decided that they would play separate from each other....and honestly you only do that when you honestly don't want to be in a real relationship...and you just want to know that you have someone to come home to at night. If that's the fact then I think both of you need to put that out on the table honestly, and openly...like you want your relationship to be....

My boyfriend and I are into doing threesomes. Not because we wanted to first do separate situations....we just wanted a little spice....maybe that's the way you both should look at it. You both, to each other, are what you need....you just need a little cherry on your already hot cake!..........I hope I helped you out......

Answer 2

I can't speak for any other polyamorists, swingers, or people with an open marriage like ours, but here are our ground rules...

1. We come first. We grant each other the privilege of sharing our love with other individuals, couples, and groups; however, plans with the spouse, even last minute, trump all plans with anyone else. Likewise, the spouse may deny a liaison with anyone at any time for any reason or no reason (although neither of us have yet to exercise that right).
2. Communicate. Always speak what's on your mind. Never be afraid to let everyone know what you think and how you feel. To us, severing communication is equivalent to telling us you no longer want us around.
3. Respect everyone's boundaries. If someone does not want to do something, then you just don't do it. This is an absolute rule that cannot be broken. Example: "no condom, no sex, no exceptions" or "no anal sex."

When I talk about our lifestyle to others, I never encourage them to do it. I simply explain the facts and let them decide for themselves if it is something they want to try. It's not for everyone, but as mama used to say, "don't knock it 'til you've tried it."

Answer 3

There is not sleeping around in my committed relationship. You're starting to sound like straight people!

Answer 4

My partner and I have been together for almost 7 years and we have an agreement that we will play together with a third, but not alone. We have no desire to create an "open relationship", but also a strict monogamous relationship will not work for us either.
We have often found that this plan works for us, and keeps us attracted to each other, while making sure our needs were met in the bedroom as well.
No matter what you decide, be true to yourself and your partner and be honest about your feelings, and you're needs.

Answer 5

I know a couple who've been together about 10 years. They have a geographical rule. When they are at home on the Big Island of Hawaii, they are monogamous. While away, they can safely play. It's worked for them.

Answer 6

We negotiated the rules, and never used them. Guess we like each other too much.

Th rules were simple - never bring them home, never spend the night, always use condoms, never give them your phone number, make it clear this is a "for sex only" encounter and doesn't mean you're in love with them, and if one of them shows up at the door trying to be a homewrecker, the other person gets the right to knock them backward off the porch while the other watches and laughs.

Answer 7

I have always thought that those who were in a committed relationship didn't sleep around. You can't have you cake and eat it too.

Answer 8

Consenting adults, just that. What are your limits? Is it OK to play alone? OK for your partner? Set boundaries, it's very important, especially in a committed relationship.

Answer 9

"sleeping around" in a "committed relationship" = an oxymoron

Answer 10

Each to their own, so here's my advice:
if it's agreed on, best not to share your conquests. Not immediately anyway or else jealousy will ruin it. Give it time and once you've both scored some hotties and had a good time, maybe then you can start to share your stories, and then possibly share your lovers.
Have fun and be safe