I am losing hope..?

Question

Hi to everyone.I guess you have heard this before.I have been trying to get pregnant for the last 5 months,but to no avail.I thought that conceiving would be so easy for me,but now I,ve started to lose hope.My menstrual cycle is regular,and I have sex with my husband during my ovulating days (and every oher day,of course).I know we have to wait a full year,to say that we are infertile but I am not getting any younger (28 yrs).My friends have had their kids except me,and my family keep asking me when I'm going to have mine.I think they assume that we are taking birth control.I feel so embarrased to tell them the real reason,because conceiving is such a natural and normal part of life. I quit smoking and drinking about 3 months ago, and my husband is fit (he has too,because of his job),and doesn't smoke (he's a social drinker)..I know feeling like this wil add more stress,but I can't help it.I wanted to share this out, because I have never really talked about it to anyone.

Answer 1

Sweetie, you are not alone. I have been trying to conceive for almost three years now. I spent most of my life trying not to get pregnant and now I am married and ready to start a family and I can't. I know it can get very frustrating.

I know what it's like to have all your friends and family asking "when are you going to pregnant?", "what are you two waiting for?". I finally said, "We are working on starting a family and it's not the right time for us. As soon as this changes we would be happy to let everyone know". They now stopped pressuring me and have been supportive.

There is no reason to feel embarrassed. There are millions of couples out there that have been through the same thing. The internet is full of confused and frustrated women trying to conceive and not knowing what to do or to to talk to. I always looked at my friends with kids and thought they had it so easy. Turns out some of them had issues too.

I wouldn't read too much into it until you have been trying for a year although I know it is hard to do. They say you only have about a 25% chance of getting pregnant every month so it can take time. It can take even longer if you stress out about it. I started to try not to think about it too much. I was charting, reading books, taking my temp everyday and I became obsessed. My cycles started getting more erratic so I took a mental break from it. That was about three months ago and my cycles have finally gotten back to normal. You would be surprised what stress can do to you hormones. Believe me, the first couple months we started trying I took a test everyday my period was late.

I wish you all the luck in the world. The only other thing I can say is enjoy this time with your husband. Enjoy being together and having the time (without running around after kids) to really appreciate each other. Since we've had no luck lately my husband and I decided to get some traveling done. We can't afford much but we take little day trips and an overnight-er once in a while. We've become closer and I am less stressed (which can help). I strongly believe that getting pregnant will happen at just the right time when it is truly meant to be. Even though it is hard, try and stay positive and know you are not alone at there.

Good luck!

Answer 2

first of all, what do you mean you're not getting any younger ? you're 28, not 38. Come on...be realistic.. you have plenty of time to be a mom. :)

I'm 27. Some people have their first child in their 20s, some in their 30s and some even have their first child in their 40s these days. At the rate im going im convinced I won't have my first child till my mid 30s perhaps and I'm ok with it...

Why are you worrying so much ? Childbirth and conception is such a wonderful thing..when the time comes you will be a parent too.

You guys may have been trying for the last 5 months but stressing over it won't help you get pregnant any sooner..
Why not just relax and enjoy a little bit more quality time with your husband. Think of the fun quality time the two of you have right now, a mini vacation for the two of you may be just what you need. Get out of your current environment and you just may get pregnant when you least expect it. :)

Good luck :)

Answer 3

i know exactly what you are going through. although you reason for not being able to conceive may be different than mine. I have PCOS. It's something that isn't easily detected. However, you said your periods are regular. I would try for the next couple of months before goin to ob/gyn, only this time....don't think so much about it. you could be overly stress on trying to get pregnant and that's why you aren't. also start walkin on a treadmill or at least get 30 min of cardio in a day. most importantly start taking pre-natal vitamins. just try this for at least 3 months. It will make a big difference. also may i add...you may be having sex just to get preg. try spicing it up a little...when you have fun it takes off a lot of the stress. good luck i wish you the best.

Answer 4

You know, stress can often times make it more difficult to get pregnant. So first of all, just RELAX and have fun trying. Think to yourself, it will happen when it happens!! Being anxious is hard to just turn off, but de-stress!! Just enjoy the no birth control sex, and let it happen.

Wait at least 4 more months, because most Dr.s wont bother with looking into it until youve been at it a year.

Answer 5

Here's a suggestion I haven't seen yet. If you're counting, and having intercourse during your ovulation days, a couple days before and a couple days after, you should be covering most of your window. When you have sex, if you do not orgasm...give yourself one after you're done, (sorry that sounds crass)...or have your partner help you out --when you orgasm, the muscle contraction helps the sperm gain entry and move along to where it needs to go, and it also relaxes you.

Don't be embarrassed that you haven't been able to get pregnant yet. If anyone asks, just say, "we're working on it" and leave it at that...it's really nobody's business when you are going to have kids. Don't let it get to you.
Last of all...if you reach the one year mark and have discussed your concerns with your doctor, there are so many simple things that can be done to increase your chances of conception. Just hang in there...

Answer 6

Listen you are going to get a lot of people telling that it is normal for it to take so long, but I have been their. My husband and I tried for 15 months before we FINALLY got 2 blue lines. I even went to the doctor and he told me that everything thing was fine with me and my husband. I know what it is like to want a baby in your arms so bad you could cry. I prayed for a baby everyday and when she finally came, I was beside myself. Trust in the Lord and he will deliver. Be patient and give it a year before you go to the doctor. But you have to remember not to stress over it. The doctor told me that if I was stressing out, then that could be the problem. As soon as I pushed it to the back of my mind, (we still did not prevent) and focused on other things, it happened. Have faith and prayer will help ease your troubles. Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 7

It is ok to feel upset in not getting pregnant. I tried for 3 years before it happened. I understand how you feel. You probably are feeling like a failure. Keep your head up, you have only been trying for 5 months, which really isn't that long. Try to keep stress to a min, although easier said than done. It will happen when it is supposed to. It sounds like you have done all the right things (quit smoking and drinking). My advice to you would be, if it hasn't happened in a year, go talk to your OB/GYN.

Answer 8

Five months isn't really that long to be trying in the eyes of medicine. I know that it can wear on your heart and your marriage and to you 5 months seems like an eternity. I assume you are using ovulation predictor kits etc and are still having no luck. I really can't give too much advice as I myself have never been pregnant, been trying for over 2 years. It is very hard, and know that you aren't alone in your heartache.

Answer 9

Maybe you should start looking on the bright side. Think about the struggles involved as we make an effort to do good. Allah gives us ten times more reward when acting on a good deed, and only gives us one bad deed when we commit a sin. And when we intend to do a good deed but don't out of forgetfulness etc. we get a reward for it, but if we intend evil but do not act on it, we do not get any sin. Doesn't that give you a ray of hope?? Or are you just being ungrateful, and not to mention, lazy? Salam alaykum~

Answer 10

You maybe completely stressing yourself out. Relax and enjoy trying to get pregnant. If you feel that you need to do something that may help try not having sex until your ovulating days. This may boost your hubby's sperm count and then go at it like rabbits.
My main advice would be to relax and don't put so much pressure on yourself. As for your family, ignore them. When you are going to get pregnant is not their business.