What is life like the time before someone comes out as being gay? How would you describe your life living in the closet (i.e. emotionally, spiritually)? Why do people finally decide that it is best to just come out? Just so they can have sex opening with members of the same sex, or is there other reasons?
I ask because I am trying to figure out if I am gay and am curious as to how people may answer those questions to see if I can relate with it at all.
2007-05-21 14:54:58 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Why is it that "Gay = Sex" is that all the str8 people do in their relationships? Maybe that's why the only thing they can think of about gay/lesbian relationships is sex sex sex....
I don't know about all of you, but after working all day, cooking dinner, helping the kids with homework, paying the bills, feeding the dogs, doing dishes, watching a little TV or playing on here a bit... Sex is a rarity, saved for Sundays at our house... the Holy day of course LOL! Saturday is yard work day and catch up on laundry day...
But, yes, that is why I came out... for all the lady on lady sex!!! Top priority in all gay/lesbian relationships....
Can anyone tell I'm PMS-ing? Sorry!!!
Look hun, if you want sex, have sex. If you want a life partner and love, look for that as well, wherever your heart tells you to look.
2007-05-21 15:15:28 · answer #1 · answered by Keriokeeee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was a sad case. I believed all the negative stuff--I believed I was mentally sick, that I was disgusting, that I was a sinner, that even a murderer was a better humanbeing than me because at least he was a Man! I hated myself. It was pretty awful. What helped me get over it was getting a pretty good look at the facts starting in college. It helped to learn that various important figures in history were gay, that not all cultures have considered gayness to be evil or even unusual, that gay sexuality is psychologically normal. And it helped when a good friend came out to me. Then another. It still took a long time before I started going out with other guys but that was what tipped the scale--I was meeting really interesting, totally well adjusted, happy people and being among them made the difference. I do not know what society gains by making gay children feel horrible about themselves, it is unbelievably cruel and utterly useless. To thine own self be true...
2007-05-21 15:04:36 · answer #2 · answered by jxt299 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I hated coming out of the closet. By the time I finally came out, I had installed central heating and air, had full cable, and finally got the decor how I wanted it.
But seriously, I was in the Army when I realized that it wasn't "just a phaze", so I couldn't come out for a while unless I wanted a dishonorable or less-than-honorable discharge. By the time I finally did come out, everyone seemed kind of shocked that I thought I had to tell them. They all knew. Even my mom said, "You just figured it out? Where were you when you were growing up not to notice?"
Closets are more for your protection (emotionally) than for anything else. When you are ready, you'll know it.
2007-05-21 16:10:29 · answer #3 · answered by Don't Try This At Home 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was Hell! I was afraid of being bullied and beat up by people at school. I would sometmies hit myself when I thought of guys in any sexual way. I remember crying myself to sleep every night becasue I thought I was nasty and was an abomination! I thought that god hated me and I was going to hell if I acted on my gay impulses. I used to want to kill myself so I could leave but I didn't want to go to hell, but would I rather live a life of sin before I go to hell or die and go there now? Spirituality played a lot in my life. I eventually tried to kill myself but I was sent to get help. I had to do all the real healing all by myself though. Then I started to think... what kind of god denies me of love? What kind of god wants me to deny who I am and demands I bow down or pay the price?
This is when I left the Christian faith and started to worry more about what people would think if they knew what I was and how they would treat me. My mum found out I was gay when she found porn on my computer LOL but I denied it until she actually told me how she found out! She was actually okay with it as long as I was happy, she was happy for me.
I then started looking for another faith because I do believe in a god. I researched religions and found Wicca. I am happy I did because I now have the spirituality and the message of love, peace, and spirit I was looking for..
I now and with a guy named TeeJay and I have never been happier in my life than I am now! the rest is history.............
2007-05-21 15:26:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well. Its hell. Because you're trying to keep your ego up. Eventually you start to think its best because you just get sick of all the damn stuff! trying to hide it, Trying to keep it supressed, which would mean lying a bit, then lying to keep that lie covered. Its hell. But Spiritually you have to make sure you have good faith with whoever you have. I have Jesus and im a christian. Just because im a Lesbian doesn't mean i think Jesus is evil and im an atheist (no offence to ppl). I love Jesus and in his Book he's suppoed to love me back no matter what or who i am. So thankfully im fine in that area. Emotionally, its power draining. You go to bed thinking it'll be okay tomorw. Then you find its starting to get harder and harder. especially if you have sum1 to hide along with you. But i hope that helps. I'm fine because ima saty in this closet until i move out and is out of range of my parents's rage. :D
2007-05-21 15:07:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem as you. Im tottaly in love with this girl who is my friend, but I like guys. I don't like girls in general, there is just something about her... I wonder the same things too. I am very shy around her, but im learning to cope with it.
I dont think its necessarily for the sex, I dont want it for the sex, not really. I just like the idea of spending masses of time with her. She makes me smile inside, and i miss her when I don't see her. I feel completely sane, and Im giving myself some time to see what happens.
Ah, well, best of luck to both of us.
2007-05-21 14:59:17 · answer #6 · answered by Satoshi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
basically I had to create two separate lives and make certain that I didn't confuse them...one inside the closet and another outside the closet...it got to be a lot of energy to maintain them.
2007-05-21 15:06:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sucks, it is like I am living in a box that gets smaller and smaller every day. I am screaming inside of my head but no one hears me. My insides are eating me and it feels like I am going to explode any second.
2007-05-21 15:06:30 · answer #8 · answered by dudeboy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋