If I decide that I think it is okay to hurt you emotionally does that mean that it is?

Question

how or why do people get their feelings hurt and what does that show about them?

""The second question is way too complicated for this forum. Find a psych instructor and ask.""

NO! LOL I think that people do know how their own feelings get hurt, but I do not think it is chemicals. I think we are taught not to express it, but why would that be and what is it that we are taught not to express, and some of it is simply based on perception or misperceptions isn't it? I can't answer my own question, LOL

""no, your opinion does not effect the Truth. the Truth is unconditional. if no one believed the Truth, it would still be true.""

I wasn't talking about the truth here because if you think about it maybe sometimes the truth is what hurts some people the most. I asked if it is okay to hurt your feelings because I feel like it or decide that I want to? That can also be based on a lie. And then I asked how that happens.

"What do you mean "what does it show about them"? I don't get it."

Good point that is what I asked, what does it show about the one that gets their feelings hurt as compared to the one that is doing the hurting of feelings to another? What does it show if you get your feelings hurt?

""usually it's because someone else's opinion of them is more important than their own opinion of themselves.""

I don't actually agree with that, but okay.

""People get their feelings hurt generally because someone was rude, insensitive, ignorant, just not thinking or not aware of anothers situation. It shows that they are Human;""

certainly all people are humans, will this excuse it for me?

""Haven't your feelings ever been hurt?""

certainly and at times that I would least expect, I am sure that we have all had our feelings hurt at times and you too

""I hope you don't do this as a hobby...."'

I really try not to do it at all on purpose not ever, I am trying to get people to think about it, hope that is okay some people do seem to get a kick out of doing it and I am not sure that I understand that?

""It presents a symptom of sensitivity. Do you think they should Asberger syndrom. ""

NO and while I have your attention I really want to say that I am sorry to you for what I said on that other question after I looked at your profile, that was kind of off the wall in a way, but so is your profile makes no difference. If I hurt you in any way by saying that I want to say that I am sorry. I don't know who you are or why you are who you are saying you are and what you believe so I judged you and you may really be one of the nicest people in the world and only trying to get a reaction. So if what I said hurt you I do want to apologize!

""This means that the hurt really comes from within ourselves .. it is our own reactions to other people (their words/actions) that cause us to feel uncomfortable. The discomfort can be from experiencing things that are counter to our morals, values, expectations, hopes etc. ""

This is right, it does come from inside of us because if it did not come from inside of us it would not be in us. It is from our perceptions of what they did or said. Sometimes it can be misperceptions of what they said or did or what we thought they said or did I think?

"If so, then no matter what you decide, you are no longer responsible for other people's feelings, therefore you can't be held acountable for other people's hurt feelings?""

No, I don't think that is exactly right is it? I think that we are all responsible for one another and that fluctuates according to situations and circumstances. At that point it is up to the person to decide what to do with those feelings, our responsibility.

""To make ethical decisions based on ((what how???))) someone might react to them would have you trying to guess their reactions. Intuition does not do that, it lets you know the right action regardless of emotional reaction.""

No, I think that we ought to think about others most of the time. I think that we decide to not care / be hateful / mean or to care about what reaction we wish to create, at times we intentionally try to produce certain reactions or we would be being ineffectual, not always is it purposeful, but like I said they decide how they deal with that, or if it is us that is being acted upon then we decide. Does that make sense?

Feelings and social interactions do not make a brain disease or a mental illness, it is a difference in perceptions. Some writers that were far ahead of their times were not liked or accepted at their time of life by the general public, it was not until way after their death that people seen them for what and who they were and really admired and appreciated them for this in fact they became best known and respected authors. Please do not take my kindness for a weakness that is not right to do either is it? That is taking a false advantage of another.

http://www.glumbert.com/media/cultleader How to become a cult leader
http://ca.geocities.com/psyengine2003/personalpageblue.html

Is it not true that this is not from your profile? I apologized for freaking out, but if you are a known cult leader wouldn't that make many people freak out? And if you are into making human capital what does that say about you and Karl Marx? So your behavior here even answering this question Psy says something profound about you, but still it does not say that you nor I have a brain disease or a mental illness, I don't accept that.

This should say this=(Is it not true that this is from your profile-Psy)

""It only shows weakness of the mind to allow your emotions to attach itself to mere words.""

Tell this to our soldiers and their families, I know that now we have all kinds of communication, but at one point in time words were all we had and yes words do convey messages and evoke emotions. If you deny this then I can call you a liar and that will not bother you, the thing of it is that may not make it so is the only thing. I can call your mom a biotch and you a son of a biotch and if words don't matter then it does not matter, but it does matter to some people those are fighting words and less has been fought over.

""You don't have that power. You can try, but ultimately, you don't have that power over me. Physically you could harm me in some ways, but emotionally, not a chance.""

You do not know this for sure, this is what you believe at this moment.

Belief is a powerful thing, but not always the most powerful thing in the world. It can be changed over time and with a different set of situations and circumstances.

I am not out to hurt anyone, but you are challenging me almost daring me.

If that was my true goal to hurt anyone, then that would be my goal and once I have a goal I stick to it, I get what I want most of the time.

If I was here to purposely hurt you or anyone else, which I am not, then I would change my agenda and work to do so?

Life is amazing to say the least, there is a lot of mystery in it and more then you might believe?

Karma says that it does not have to be me, what you do comes back to you ten fold. Doesn't have to be me.

Answer 1

If you are talking about intentional willful sadistic infliction into an other, I must answer 'no'. If you are talking about the foresight of a consequence for an action you must do, then it is a necessity. Weighing necessity against an others necessity is action of conscience and its question is 'which has more weight for good and for bad'. If conscience is for the general good, as in a social contract for the universal conception of humanity, it is far more complex than in a fidelity which is limited to a group less than the totality of human existence. If 'okay' is defined as negative in its self, then it would never be 'not okay' and there would be no question. If 'okay' is defined as positive, then that positives consequence would be negative. Is it okay that a positive produce a negative.

'how or why do people get their feelings hurt and what does that show about them?'

It presents a symptom of sensitivity. Do you think they have Asperger syndrome.

A. Qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following:

marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body postures, and gestures to regulate social interaction

failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level

a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people (e.g. by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people)

lack of social or emotional reciprocity

http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/aswhatisit.html

The Will is positive, the Judgment is negative.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erick_Erickson
hope
will
purpose
competence
fidelity
love (in intimate relationships, work and family)
caring
wisdom

Answer 2

Maybe to you it would be ok, but in reality? My emotions wouldn't flinch to feel any hurt, unless you physically decided to inflict bodily harm. Other than that? What ever hurtful words YOU may think would hurt me? Are only words and words will never hurt me.

Some People get emotionally involved in the words that is being said to them and they allow words to hurt their feelings, ego, pride or what ever emotional barrier the so called "hurtful words" penetrated. It only shows weakness of the mind to allow your emotions to attach itself to mere words.

Edit: Are you NOW being confused between your question and statements?

As stated by you, " Tell this to our soldiers and their families, I know that now we have all kinds of communication, but at one point in time words were all we had and yes words do convey messages and evoke emotions. If you deny this then I can call you a liar and that will not bother you, the thing of it is that may not make it so is the only thing. I can call your mom a biotch and you a son of a biotch and if words don't matter then it does not matter, but it does matter to some people those are fighting words and less has been fought over."

You can call anyone a LIAR who don't agree with you, since you believe what you say is true. It wouldn't matter to someone like Me, because once again, IT'S ONLY WORDS to Me. Maybe to others who EMOTIONALLY ATTACH themselves to hurtful words hurt themselves. "Fighting words?" If one allows words to result into violence, then, they are weak and easily influenced.

As the old nursery rhyme goes, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

Answer 3

Is it OK?

hmm. interesting question, because the second part of your question hints that others don't really hurt our feelings, rather we feel hurt on our own (due to the outside influence of others)

This means that the hurt really comes from within ourselves .. it is our own reactions to other people (their words/actions) that cause us to feel uncomfortable. The discomfort can be from experiencing things that are counter to our morals, values, expectations, hopes etc.

Is that sort of where you were going with the question?

If so, then no matter what you decide, you are no longer responsible for other people's feelings, therefore you can't be held acountable for other people's hurt feelings?

If not, then nevermind .. LOL!

Answer 4

No, It is not. You treat people how you want to be treated. People take things to heart; some more than others. It shows nothing bad on their part. When you hurt someone that cares; it can be awful for them to accept. Just remember; there may come a day when you may need that person. Having compassion and consideration for others is very important.

Answer 5

No, it's not ok to intentionally hurt someone emotionally. (It sounds pre-meditated; your question, that is.)
People get their feelings hurt generally because someone was rude, insensitive, ignorant, just not thinking or not aware of anothers situation.
It shows that they are Human; Haven't your feelings ever been hurt? I hope you don't do this as a hobby....

Answer 6

You can't hurt someone emotionally just because you decide to. The other person has to be vulnerable to what you're saying or doing.

To answer your question literally, yes. If you decide it's okay, then it is, for you. If it doesn't bother you, then it's okay. For you.

People get their feelings hurt for a number of reasons, but usually it's because someone else's opinion of them is more important than their own opinion of themselves.

Answer 7

No it isn't okay because feelings are in one fluid line when you are content and when others hurt your feelings or make them better the line will go up and down. Your thoughts on whether something is okay or not has no impact on how that line is affected when something happens to someone else. People get their feelings hurt because they are being revealed something that makes them less than content because there is something in their life now that they have to think about that is negative. It stems into brain chemistry but that is the general idea.

Answer 8

Ask ur grandma if u could live with her for a while, and tell ur mum that u refuse to go back and live with her unless she starts to treat like u have feelings. If she doesn't change, then maybe u should just live with ur grandma. Don't worry about it :)

Answer 9

NO!

The second question is way too complicated for this forum. Find a psych instructor and ask.

Answer 10

You don't have that power.

You can try, but ultimately, you don't have that power over me.

Physically you could harm me in some ways, but emotionally, not a chance.