I have a family member who is renewing their wedding vows, after 20 years of marriage. She is making this like it is their 1st marriage. She is wearing a wedding gown, getting a motel room the night before so her husband does not see her before the "wedding" . Which is not all as bad -as I think it is -for her to ask for gifts and including gift registry cards in all of the invitations.
2007-05-21 13:25:29 · 16 answers · asked by gandtiff 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What gifts would she need after 20 years? Is she replacing things she doesn't like? I'm not sure what etiquette would say about it but I think it's tacky lol.
2007-05-21 13:31:18 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not proper... and if it were, how often can I renew my vows??? Our 2.5 year anniversary is coming up soon, and we could really use more stuff, so can I renew my vows too???
I can understand that sometimes there are circumstances that cause people to want to renew their vows (such as one partner cheated but they ended up deciding to stay together), but really, renewing vows just proves that vows don't mean what they're meant to mean. If the initial vow was meant to last forever and now you need to renew it, how can you believe the new vow will last forever?
Plus, like someone said... wedding gifts are meant to help a couple set up their household. I know that nowadays so many people get married so late there is no need, but still, that's where the custom comes from. I'd buy her an apron or vacuum cleaner or something...
2007-05-21 13:42:07 · answer #2 · answered by Ian 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would say that's inappropriate. First of all, the purpose of giving gifts at a wedding is because the couple is supposedly just starting off, and need things for their home. A couple that's been married for 20 years should be set. Second, technically it's always in bad taste to ask for gifts.
2007-05-21 13:43:33 · answer #3 · answered by Jess H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is wrong to expect gifts. This is not a wedding. It is a "renewal" of the orginal vows. As such, she can have a ceremony and a reception, but she should not expect gifts and put in gift registry cards. That is very inappropriate. (Some people will wish to give the couple gifts, but it is not necessary as it isn't a wedding.)
2007-05-21 13:33:52 · answer #4 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nice try. I've often wished you could get gifts for major anniversaries. All the linens, pots and pans, etc. get worn out after 20 years! However, asking for more gifts is beyond tacky. Gift registry cards with the invites? What nerve! I thought my aunt was bad when she registered for gifts for her kids, when she got married for the second time!
2007-05-21 13:40:41 · answer #5 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,I have been married for ten years and I was planning on having a 20 year anniversary! but I dont think it will be thats bad. I dont think I will go that far and have my hubby leave so he wont see me. maybe we will not dress in the same room but thats it. we will not be registered anywhere. we will not be goin all out like that and try to act like we are newly married! to renew your vows means to have a small intamite party, not an extravagant ball. i say she is goin out of line and asking for too much!
2007-05-21 13:39:58 · answer #6 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is tacky.
I hate to go empty handed to an event so I'd probably buy them something.
Sounds like she wants a do-over with all of the trims and perks of a new marriage.
2007-05-21 13:32:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not proper. Wedding gifts are supposed to be to help the newlyweds get their household set up.
2007-05-21 13:29:17 · answer #8 · answered by DT3238 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not proper. Not only should she not ask she should not expect them. If people should feel generous enough to get a gift, which I would not, that is fine. If they don't then that is fine too.
2007-05-21 13:42:34 · answer #9 · answered by Inneedofpeace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree, its not proper.
Giving gifts to new couples is to help them set up their new home, but they obviously already have one.
I agree with whoever else mentioned it, it sounds like she is trying to have the wedding she never had.
2007-05-21 13:40:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋