Would you get upset with your spouse if he/she is having dreams about having sex with a family freind??

Question

my spouse sent me a text on accident (intended for her sister) saying that she had a dream last night about having sex with a family freind. should i make a big deal about this?? i trust her, but this gives me doubts.

Answer 1

Having a dream about someone is one thing. Texting it to your sister and thinking about it during the day is something else.

I always get mad at my spouse if I dream HE is having an affair (not fair, but I'm human).

If he dreamed about someone and thought enough about it to text someone about it, I'd be angry.

Answer 2

Are you seriously going to hold your wife responsible for what happens in HER DREAMS? Y'know, the thing that happens when she's asleep and has no control over it and is comprised of random electrical impulses firing during the REM cycle?

Have you never had a dream about having sex about another person? Have you never had a dream where you did something bad, killed someone, fought with someone, rode on a magic carpet, had more money than God or Bill Gates, had a conversation with your purple pet goat, showed up to class naked, were a different person entirely?

If you trust her, then what's the problem? If you don't trust her, then you need to have a talk with her about the arrangements of your marriage, not what happens at night when she has no control over her random thoughts.

If you'd like to tell her that you received the text message intended for her sister by accident and you want to talk about it, I think that's a good idea. I think secrets in a relationship are damaging and having subjects that are "off limits" for discussion are inhibitors to intimacy. But I do NOT think this should be a discussion that is accusatory or even suspicious. You should treat it like a humorous mistake and open up the dialog between you and your wife for sharing your dreams and fantasies with each other ... even if they stay in the fantasy realm and are never realized in the real world. Sharing fantasies and dreams can add to your sex life, even if you're just trading stories and you never act them out. Describing things to each other in a sexy way, saying those unique little things that can turn your partner on, being open and secure enough with your partner to be able to talk about them and joke about them and even use them as a method of foreplay, can go a long way towards strengthening a relationship and adding excitement.

I highly recommend you read the following:
http://www.xeromag.com/fvpolypiano.html - How To Be A Secure Person
http://tacit.livejournal.com/171501.html - Some Thoughts On Specialness

You do not need to be in a poly relationship to listen to and follow the advice in these articles. They're all about how to be Secure and Special in your relationship, whatever the arrangements are.

Answer 3

In spite of common myths, we cannot control what we dream about, and dreams, especially of sexual encounters, do not necessarily suggest that we desire such an encounter. In fact, it's most often just the opposite - a fear of a sexual encounter. Psychologists tell us that dreams of sexual encounters is more about control or lack of it, then it is about desire.

So if you are inclined to trust your wife, then don't give her any grief over this. If you feel you need to mention it to her, then do so in a joking manner. Something like, "Say, that text message you sent to your sister the other day accidentally ended up on my phone. If you're gonna send secret messages, you ought to be more careful, haha!" She will be embarrassed about the whole thing simply because she doesn't understand why she's having that dream either. So don't harass her, help her because she may be frightened rather than looking for love.

Answer 4

I dreamed my guy told my friend we were done. The strange thing is my guy and I had been going through a shaky time and that dream marked the onset of him making more effort with our relationship than he ever had before. The dream seemed so real that I was in a terrible mood that day. But when I saw him he was so happy to see me and couldn't wait to kiss me. It was the exact opposite of my dream. So maybe sometimes what we dream is a reverse reflection or reality and not a mirror image!!

Answer 5

Its a dream and something that can't be controlled. I wouldnt get up about it. As for the fact that she texted it to her sister means nothing. I've had dreams that were so freaky that I had to tell someone about them.

Answer 6

No, I would not be upset, people in dreams are symbols and often represents someone else. Appears to me her dream indicates she has or wants a strong relationship with her family or you.

The following website you may find useful:
http://www.edgarcayce.org/dreams/freedreaminterpretation.asp

Answer 7

You are kidding right? She can't control who she dreams about,you do no that don't you.I can understand it upsetting you,but remember the text wasn't meant for you.It didn't happen so forget about it and don't make a big deal out of it.

Answer 8

Trust her. The dream upset her. It's a dream. Not a reality. She can't help what she dreams, and neither can you. Go home ...take her flowers. Bet she won't dream about him tonight!

Answer 9

DREAMS ARE JUST THAT DREAMS SOME PEOPLE DREAM ABOUT DOG OR CAT. I WOULD SAY THAT YOU GOT THE TEXT JUST SO SHE KNOW THAT SHE SEND IT TO YOU. BUT I WOULD MAKE NOTHING OF IT. AND IF SHE FEEL SHE NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT THEN LET HER BUT DON'T MAKE MORE JUST MAKE IT LIKE IT'S NOT THAT BIG DEAL BECAUSE YOU TRUST HER

Answer 10

It's a dream, for Heaven's sake! Haven't you ever had a sex dream about someone other than your wife? Did you plan it? Of course not. Let it go.