My wife found out that I had an affair. The lady & I only had sex once; this person is a good friend of mind.?

Question

My wife found out that I had an affair. The lady & I only had sex once; this person is a good friend of mind.

My wife and I were having problems and it happened. We had agreed that I will not visit this woman’s house. My wife also asked asks that I not see this person any more and end our friendship. However, I convinced her that it was over and she forgave me. We then went into a business together at my request, this did not work. She tolerated this person for sometime but the person proved to be disingenuous among other things. So her forgiveness still stands but does not want me to associate with this person at all & forbid this person to enter our house or ask me to do favors.



I did a few favors for her recently and it caused a problem, we spoke about it and it was high tension, as she has no respect & tolerance for my friend. Last night she (my friend) asks me to stop by her house on my way home for steam muscles because she knows Jonathan (son) likes it. My wife went wild, screaming and asks if I am having a problem & dumped the food in the trash.



Don’t you think she’s being unreasonable & over reacting?

Answer 1

SHE SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOUR A** A LONG TIME AGO!!!!

Answer 2

No. You are. Is this person more important than your wife? If you had an agreement, why do you insist on breaking it? You must have some feelings for this other person. If not, you would have broken it off and not had any problems after that. How could you think your wife is wrong? Would you want her to associate with a male friend she's had an affair with? Come on, think about it.

Answer 3

I think that sometimes people f**k up. But if she was good enough to understand and not end the relationship, and set clear boundaries with this other woman, then you should have followed them precisely. She does not need to be the one being understanding, you should feel obliged to be with someone so forgiving. When this other woman began to correspond with you, you should have respected your wife and told ignored this other woman with everything you have. What you need to ask is:
1. do you feel guilty about this affair?
2. who's more important, your wife or your friend?

If you feel guilt and you think your wife is more important, then do what you have to do to make things right by her. If you feel no guilt and you don't want to be married, then have the balls to leave the relationship.

Answer 4

You are being unreasonable! How would you feel if your wife stayed friends with a man that she had sex with? You need to respect your wife and end that so called friendship with this woman.

Answer 5

no i don't. i think you pretty well deserve everything you get. i know you don't want to hear this but hey---YOU cheated, she didn't. and then to ask the wife to tolerate the other woman is intolerable. i would have kicked your sorry @ss to the curb and left it there. personally i wouldn't tolerate the woman @ all and if you continue to see her I hope your wife divorces you and takes everything you have. oh, and by the way, saying you were "having problems" is a lame @ss excuse for cheating on your wife. i would wish you good luck, but i would be lying.

Answer 6

i think you have the problem . why cant you let this woman out of your grasp? why cant you respect your wifes wishes and leave this other woman alone? what if the shoe was on the other foot , would it be ok for her to do that to you and have another guy over or go to the other guys house to check on his flowers or something no it is not ok , so why are you doing it to her. putting her thru this every day having her think about this all the time. let her go. and let your wife have peace. goodl uck.

Answer 7

she has every right to be mad at you and you need to respect her and her decision that she no longer would like you two see her or go to her house and just so you know she is trying to kiss up to you by making your sons favorite food or something that he likes if i was your wife i would have done a hole lot more than just that trust me. you need to respect her more. and what do you mean we only had sex once? once well that should never have happened even once even if you were having problems!!

Answer 8

she is so not unreasonable, you are. you were the one that had an affair, your in luck for her to stick with you, i dont care whether that girl is your friend or not, but to have slept with her, your wife has every right to tell you not to see this other girl, also for what you guys did how can she even face your wife? if you think that your wife is overreacting, then it seems like you care more for that friend than your wife.

Answer 9

She seems to be making reasonable requests and trying to find ways to trust you again, and you seem to be not respecting your wife's very appropriate desires. I think it is time you grow up and realize that you have to let this other woman go or your wife will never trust you...nor should she.

Answer 10

well u know the fraze once a cheater always a cheater well ur living up to that ... i think ur disrespecting her wishes as to not talking to the person and u wind up doing so ... as for ur wife and if i was ur wife i would of kicked ur *** the day i found out about the cheating .. maybe she should put a collar on u with a device to show where ur at all the time .. sorry man ur a poor excuse for a husband

Answer 11

Hell no she is not overreacting! And she has no reason to have respect & tolerance for someone who disrespected your marriage. How would you feel if she cheated on you! Would you have tolerance & respect for the other man, would you want her to stop by his house for steamed muscles? You're being unreasonable!!!