I have been married 7 years and have 2 kids, my wife is not receptive to my manly needs, she seems to avoid an almost non exsistant sex life or we make a date and she doesnt follow through. It has been very frustrating, and I feel like we are just roommates at this point. I dont want a divorce, I like the situation, I am pretty happy with it, not much fire in the relationship though, and I am just missing the physical aspect. It seems close to the point where I am thinking of going elsewhere with my problem. What should I do?
2007-05-21 12:15:10 · 9 answers · asked by stealthy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Turning to someone outside of your marriage is a deal breaker. You will never be able to take it back. And if found out, your marriage will never have the same trust level. Quite likely your marriage would not recover. If this is how you are feeling then the person to turn to is your wife. Be straight with her so that you are giving her (and your marriage) an opportunity to to get your relationship back on track. Tell her basically what you've just said in your question and ask her to help do whatever is necessary to work through this. That doesn't mean she needs to just strip and get into the bedroom. It will take more than that for real intimacy to return. It may take marriage counselling, it may take doing whatever is necessary to reduce work/kids/household/stress load if she is chronically tired. It may mean a commitment for you to be more romantic - without the expectation that it will lead to sex. It may also be a combination of several things that is keeping your wife from wanting intimacy. Body image can play hell with a woman's self esteem and sex drive. Something as simple as your eyes lighting up when she enters a room can go a long way in getting your relationship back on track: it's a little romantic gesture that will cause her to feel loved and good about herself. But whatever you do, turn to your wife, not to someone outside of your marriage.
2007-05-21 12:46:54 · answer #1 · answered by zenobia2525 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also live the exact "personal" life you do. The man I live with for the last two years has treated me the Very same way your wife treats you. At least I'm fortunate not to be married to him.
I'm in the process of walking out of his life for good-I will NOT look back.
It has been a long two years of being belittled, and frustrated.
The odd part of the story is he is 10 years older than me, has not much to offer a woman, and with out tooting my own horn,I'm considered a very attractive woman in the looks and personality department.
I, for one will no longer tolerate being humiliated by the likes of him. He has the audacity to claim he is in love with me.
Sorry, but what you are experiencing now in a short 7 years of marriage will continue. . .
Your a better person than me if you can truly live with the daily rejection, for whatever their personal "hangups" might be-Good luck. . .
2007-05-21 12:35:30 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Share your issues with her and let her know just how serious it is. Tell her that you all need to talk seriously about this and mabye see a marriage counseler or something. Tell her you love her to death but if she don't come with it your gonna have to go on a cat hunt. be honest and just pray for the best.
2007-05-21 13:47:55 · answer #3 · answered by DEREK B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start calling her a flake and laugh at her.
Make jokes about it.
"Good thing you weren't this much of a flake when we were dating or I would of dumped you."
"Bought a piece of coal today. I figure it will be a diamond by the time we have sex again."
Play moody, "I don't feel like cuddling. I have a head ache."
You are not losing anything. Its not like she is withholding more sex from you.
Buy yourself something expensive and say that you felt you needed something to make you feel special.
2007-05-21 12:51:59 · answer #4 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should find out why she won't have sex with you and solve that problem, if possible. Maybe you don't "please" her and she's at the point "why bother". Be willing to hear criticism about yourself.
Before straying, be very upfront with her, telling her of your frustration and what you plan to do. See what she has to say.
Good luck
2007-05-21 12:25:05 · answer #5 · answered by Earl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you probley her this alot but maybe you all need to see a theripist. But first you all need to sit down and figure out why this is happening there has to be a reason and once you find out what it is maybe you all can work one it,.
2007-05-21 13:57:22 · answer #6 · answered by lyttledarlin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An affair would solve nothing and potentially destroy the marriage.
I have learned to live with my celibate life and my celibate wife.
2007-05-21 12:21:21 · answer #7 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CHEATING IS NEVER THE ANSWER WHILE SHE SHOULD B MS ICE BLOCK IT STILL DOESNT CHANGE THE FACT THAT ADULTERY IS A SIN BUT TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH NOT MAKING YOUR SELF AVLBLE TO YOUR SPOUSE IS TOO IN CORTHIANS IT TELLS US THAT OUR BODYS ARE NOT OUR OWN THEY BELONG TO OUR SPOUSES AND WE SHOULD ONLY STAY APART FOR TIMES OF PRAYER AND THEM COME BACK TOGETHER AS NOT TO B TEMPTED TO SIN MAYBE YOU TWO NEED TO GO GET SOME COUNLING MAYBE SHE NEEDS TO SEE A DR HER HORMONS MAY BE GIVING HER TROUBLE AND SHE NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS GET HELP DONT CHEAT
2007-05-21 12:22:20 · answer #8 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know how you feel and ask her to go to marriage counselling.
2007-05-21 12:20:18 · answer #9 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to be having an affair
find a woman that satisfy your sexual needs
2007-05-21 12:34:11 · answer #10 · answered by dr.ashley.proctologist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋