What can I do here I want to move on and have nothing to do with my ex but there a child involved.?

Question

I have a child to this guy . for four year of my son life his father walk out three times. and the excuse was he want his freedom to screw around. first time my son was 6mth old. his excuse was he didn't want to be a father .But his mother force him back in to my son and my life. the second time he walk out my son was turning 2year old due to he was screw around with a undreage girl he met off the internet . I dob his *** in . but he walk in my house and made himself welcome due to he did want to loose his stuff plus his money . this time he out of the picture for good. due to I am in a different town . He made it clear he want his freedom to do what he like to screw anyone that want him. I kick him out due to I want my son to not follow how his father threat me and any women he come in contact with . One sad this is that my son has autism .in the past my son had limit speech never use words but now he is in a safe home with me he open up and started using words. but

when he see his dad . my son goes backwards.
My son and I are happy where we are and also my ex only come to get his son when he got a new woman in the picture . so it more like he using my son to pick women up . I don't like it at all .
I allow my ex to stop paying child support and not have contact due to my son struggle with moving from one place to the other. Court ask if I take my son to a pace where he is been watch when his father show up . and it turn out my son has meltdown alot going there . Last year I did all the pushing for the his father to come and see his son every fornight and I got all the excuse under the sun . so I could not be bother doing all the pushing for someone who doesn't want to be in my son life becasue in the end I feel he is going to get hurt pust I had to force my son to see someone who is his father but he his father doesn't love him. worst part is my son ask why doesn't dad love me . I told my son his father does I get told you are lying .

Answer 1

if he pays child support then he by law can see him. Then again because of your son having autism the courts may find that he would actually cause more mental anguish on him. I have a 9 year old high functioning autistic son myself and it can be tough sometimes. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 2

here is a thing a child is not stupid they can feel if they are wanted or not and he knows that his father dont love him and from what you have said you should never force a child or the other parent on to each other if he does not want to be bother then it is his loss and if i read it correctly your son has autisum and when his father comes around he goes backward that tells you right there he is no good for him the only bond that you and your ex have is your son that is it and if he doesnt want to be his father now he will never want to be and if he does later in life by then it will be to late. you could have saved yourself all this agravation if you would have never taking him back all those times i know parents do stupid things an make scarifices for there children but kids know when there is something wrong they dont always have to told , they do hear and see

Answer 3

You've noticed that your child is better off when your ex is not around. This is a sign to you that you shouldn't allow your ex to dictate how you are going to live your life; he wants his freedom so allow him to have his freedom! Just don't make your home his drop-in center, where he can crash if he wants to or hide from a girlfriend or 'sleep it off'. If you can manage to allow him in your life to do all those things, you're a more capable woman than I am of holding your temper!
Your son's welfare should come first. Try not to just move in with the next guy - pehaps you could share a home with someone in your family who is stable and calm. At least until you can establish yourself in a place where you are away from your ex and where you will have some financial independence. It will take time but you can do it!

Answer 4

So he is the father,if you let your son around that man he will pick up his bad habits and i no you don't want that.I bet his father cheated on his mother .This is where you can brake the chain.We women are the only ones that can stop all this cheating.Little boys grow up thinking that is what men do they have sex with as many women as they can and their fathers encourage it,they tell them look at that one i sure would like to do her.It's funny to them but what they are teaching their sons are to look at women only as a sex object and nothing more.

Answer 5

find a father figure for your son. This can be somebody who is willing to be inspirational and willing to help your child grow up to be a real man unlike his biological father. Find him a mentor. There are organizations to help you with this at no cost. Find an activity for your son such as playing chess. Many local chess clubs are willing to take a young person under their wing.

Answer 6

Leave his *** alone. If he has been so disrespectful to you all of this time then he is only getting worse as he has shown you. Tax him for child support and get out of his life. Now as far as your son, maybe you should get him checked for your own peace of mind. You don't want to know later that something is wrong when you could get help now.

Answer 7

I personally would go see about your ex giving up his parental rights, your child does not need someone like that in his life, he needs stability and with your ex doing that it makes it worse... for your child's health I would go talk to someone about this...