HELP! I'm 5 months pregnant and just found out my husband is cheating on me.?

Question

I'm so confussed. I don't know what to do. Any advise or suggestions?

Thanks

Answer 1

There is never a good time to discover you are being betrayed and cheated on but...your husband is the lowest of the low to place all that stress on his child when s/he has no where to run to escape it.
Be calm and be absolutely certain this is not raging hormones. You must calmly yack yack yack with him for his disclosure and a remedy you can both live with. For now the well being of the you and him YOUR child should be the highest priority. If he knows you know he is cheating you need to bring it out in the open. If you choose silence and the hope it will go away strategy he will possibly think you ignoring the issue is your okee dokee approval for his poor judgment.
Have your doctor write you a referral to a marriage counselor and if your H won't go...go alone to sort through this for your peace of mind. Baby needs mom healthy in every way. Dad needs to know he is needed to be just as healthy as mom and this is no time to possibly pass on an STD.
Congratulations!!!

Answer 2

Don't be too hasty in making a decision until you have time to think of all your options. Make up a list of all your options (to stay ~ not to stay and where you can go if you leave). Then make up a list of all the questions you want to ask him. Now it's time to find a time to talk.

When you talk, don't be afraid to ask straight forward questions. Sit across from each other so you can watch his eyes. Does he look at you when he answers or does he glance around the room when giving some answers? If he glances around, he is probably being deceptive. Honest people don't have a problem looking you straight in the eyes.

Is he unusually nervous on some of your questions? Ask him why. Is he angry over any or all of your questions? What is he hiding? Learn to read his body language so you can determine how truthful he is being with you as you talk.

Ask him why he chose to commit adultery (don't mince the words ~ he needs to hear the truth). What did he hope to accomplish? What can the two of you do to work on the issues at hand? Does he want to stay or leave? And why he wants to stay or leave to see what he is thinking. Ask what you can do to make the marriage work. Ask him if he will promise not to do this again. Does he give you full eye contact when he answers?

Take responsibility if you have done something to offend him (not that that gives him an excuse to cheat ~ he chose to make that decision, not you) and let him know you can't correct something you are doing wrong if he doesn't learn to communicate with you.

Definitely have tests done by your doctor to make sure you and the baby are safe. If the two of you decide to stay together, be sure and give him an ultimatum and let him know if this happens again, he might as well pack his bags because it means he isn't going to change and your children shouldn't be subjected to an unhappy home because it will most likely lead to arguments and the child will learn to argue and be deceptive.

I do wish you well and am so sorry to hear you are going through this at a time when you two should be happy and looking forward to the wonder of a child. Keeping you in prayer

Answer 3

I know it's an overused line, but 'once a cheater always a cheater.' I would advise at the very least separating from your husband so that you can have time to come to terms with yourself and what has happened. And if you separate then you will both have a chance to reevaluate the relationship and whether or not it is worth making a go of it. Just because you are pregnant does NOT mean you have to stay with the child's father. Personally cheating is a deal breaker for me especially with all of the STD's out there.

Answer 4

Oh hell no!! How disrespectful and dirty can he be?
You know, there are alot of men that cheat on their women when they're pregnant. I don't know if being pregnant is unattractive to them or if they feel big and mighty because they have a pregnant woman at home. Im 8 months pregnant and I feel my husband is itching to do something.(Due to my own reasons that I won't get into.) But yes men can be so cold hearted. He's worthless and getting him out of your life will be doing you a favor. He is the one that will be missing out, not you! I know this is painful but please find your strength and independence. Were there issues in your marriage before you got pregnant? Pack your sh*t and leave. Live with a relative for a while or you can pack his sh*t and put it TO THE LEFT, TO THE LEFT. No joke.

Seriously....if you feel as though your marriage may be worth saving then by all means...try to save it. But that road will be hard and bumpy. You really have to be strong and willing to forgive. Once the trust is gone, it's so hard getting it back.

Answer 5

You cant change or control anyone behavior. So being mad, being firm, trying to punish him, all that is bs. All you can do is control you. Now, your husband cheated. Why did he cheat? What problems did you guys have, if you had any problems, which led to the cheating. Thats what you need to address. Will you be able to live with what he did. Will you be able to live with he may do it again? Where theres a will there's a way. He can make all the promises in the world to you. If he wants to cheat again, he will. It may have nothing to do with you. Maybe he found a connection with someone else. Thats not a reflection on you. It probably has nothing to do with you. Just concentrate on you and your baby.

Answer 6

Whoa.... darlin' you must be really upset and hurt right now. And probably scared of what the future might hold.

First you need to take good care of yourself and your baby. It won't do anyone any good for you to fall apart.

Second, you need to have some serious discussions with your husband about how he wants to be in the marriage (preferably with the help of a counselor).

Third you need to decide if you can accept how he wants to be and how he really is.

Your life will never be the same. But it can be great and even better. You have every right to expect better treatment from him and you deserve it. God bless.

Answer 7

Trust me, been there done that.They never change and it will just get worse cause if you stay he will know it is ok. You are just going to be upset and you don't need that added stress while prego. I know it's hard but it is better you leave now. If he cheated while you were pregnant he will do it when you are at home with your baby alone. Good luck and if you need to talk my email is [e-mail]

Answer 8

Do you no how common that is,so many husbands has cheated on their wives when pregnant.Why do men say women are so beautiful when they are pregnant then turn around and do something so horrible as to cheat.To me that makes that person the most ugliest selfish inconsiderate person walking and does not deserve forgiveness.

Answer 9

If you're positive-confront him, if he is willing to see a counselor and repent of his sins, stay with him, but if it's all an act--you'd better go your own way now, set him free and be happy with your own life, he is not worth any tears. don't get sick over this, you have 4 months to try to adjust and be happy for the new life inside of you. remember if he stayed and still cheated someday--he could give you a desiese.

Answer 10

Well it is very hard to give advice...can you tell us maybe what options you have thought of already?

I just hate to tell people to leave unless it is totally obvious. Also, provide more info about how long/who he is cheating with.

Most of all, be calm, be healthy for your baby!